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- What do you think? "Zombie Killer of the Week"?
- Me, Myself, and I
- After America is ravaged by a zombie plague, a lone band of survivors fight the living dead while they cross the nation. They stop in an amusement park, where they believe they will be safe.
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The film takes place within a post-apocalyptic world, beginning with narration from Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg), a college student from Austin, Texas, who is on his way to Columbus, Ohio to see if his parents are alive. He explains that his survival so far has been due to not having any friends to be attached to and not being close with his family, as well as a list of "rules" for surviving the zombie apocalypse (triggered by a virulent form of human adapted mad cow disease), which becomes a recurring motif in the film. Columbus also describes his fear of clowns and the need to use the bathroom frequently even though one of his rules is to avoid them. Losing his car to an accident and now walking he encounters Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson), whose life goal is to find the remaining Twinkies on Earth. To avoid attachment, Tallahassee insists that no real names be used and instead suggests each go by his home town: Columbus and Tallahassee.
During the drive, Columbus remembers the story of the day he found out zombies began to rule the world. He tells that he was sitting, playing World of Warcraft and drinking Mountain Dew until suddenly he hears his hot female neighbor from 406, shouting "let me in!". He lets her in and she explains how she was walking home when she attacked by a homeless-looking person who tried to bite her. She stays for the night, but Columbus doesn't realize she has been infected until he wakes up and she attacks him. Columbus is chased around his apartment but eventually stops her with a second hit to the head using the lid of the toilet cistern.
As Columbus and Tallahassee search a grocery store for Twinkies, they meet two sisters, Wichita (Emma Stone) and Little Rock (Abigail Breslin). Through a con, the sisters manage to steal their weapons and truck, but the men soon find a Hummer H2 truck loaded with weapons and intent to pursue them. Before they take off Tallahassee has a few joy filled moments firing off a few rounds into the air in celebration. The sisters manage to con the men again and take the truck after their stolen car breaks down, this time taking the men as prisoners. After a subsequent standoff, Columbus convinces the group that it's better to stick together.
During the drive, Columbus states his intent to go home but Wichita blurts out that Columbus, Ohio has been burned to the ground, destroyed, and completely overrun by zombies. Columbus is visibly distraught and is presented with a chance to find his own way, but falling for Wichita, he decides to stay. They decide to drive towards Pacific Playland in Los Angeles, an amusement park that is supposedly zombie-free and girls' original intended destination. About midway there they all stop at a shop that sells Native American trinkets and other merchandise and after dispatching the zombified owner they are take some time to blow off a little steam and smash up the store. On the way to the park, they pass through Hollywood and Tallahassee makes Columbus risk his life for a map of the stars. Deciding to surprise the rest, Tallahassee drives them to a Mansion and only until they get inside they discover that it was owned by Bill Murray. While driving golf balls Tallahassee and Wichita meet a seemingly zombified Murray, who reveals that he only disguises himself with make-up so that he can walk safely among the zombies and play golf. Meanwhile in Murray's home movie theater Columbus shows Little Rock a Bill Murray classic, Ghostbusters. While the movie is playing Tallahassee and Wichita play out a scene from Ghostbusters with Tallahassee in full Ghostbusters props and clothing. Afterwards Bill decides to scare Columbus and Little Rock as a practical joke, but Columbus shoots and kills him, thinking he is a zombie. After a makeshift funeral, Tallahassee reveals he lost his son Buck to the zombies (earlier, Tallahassee told Columbus that he lost his puppy). Switching partners Wichita and Columbus hang out and she starts developing feeling
0 Comments 194 weeks
Directed by Ruben Fleischer
Produced by Gavin Polone
Written by Paul Wernick
# Woody Harrelson as Tallahassee
# Jesse Eisenberg as Columbus
# Emma Stone as Wichita
# Abigail Breslin as Little Rock
# Amber Heard as Maggie
# Bill Murray makes a cameo appearance.
Music by David Sardy
Cinematography Michael Bonvillain
Editing by Peter Amundsen
Studio Relativity Media
Distributed by Columbia Pictures
Release date(s) October 2, 2009
Country United States
A running gag, and a central plot theme throughout the film, is Columbus' list of rules for surviving in the zombie-infested world. By the end of the film, his list has thirty-three rules; only some of them are mentioned. A series of non-canonical promotional videos starring Woody Harrelson and Jesse Eisenberg have expanded on the list. Also, in pre-release trailers for the film, some of the rules were presented in a different order, and some rules were named differently.
02. Double tap
03. Beware of bathrooms
06. Cast iron skillet
07. Travel light
12. Bounty paper towels
15. Bowling ball
17. (Don't) Be a hero
18. Limber up
22. When in doubt, know your way out
29. The buddy system
31. Check the back seat
32. Enjoy the little things
33. Swiss Army knife
At the end of the film Columbus makes a few parting words reminding viewers of the rules and adding "a little sunscreen never hurt anybody".
0 Comments 194 weeks
Tallahassee: I haven't cried like that since Titanic!
Wichita: Let's play the quiet game.
Columbus: I've actually been meaning to ask you, have you been to Columbus, because I've been trying to...
Wichita: Have you never played the quiet game?
Tallahassee: Time to nut up or shut up!
Columbus: [after his neighbor changes into a zombie] You see? You just can't trust anyone. The first girl I let into my life and she tries to eat me.
Tallahassee: I'm not great at farewells, so uh... that'll do, pig.
Columbus: That's the worst goodbye I've ever heard. And you stole it from a movie.
Columbus: Fuck this clown.
Columbus: When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go... were the fatties.
Columbus: I could tell she knew what I was feeling, we all are orphans in Zombieland.
Columbus: [to Tallahasse] I swear, you're like some type of cock-blocking robot developed in some secret fucking government lab.
Tallahassee: [discovers Hostess truck filled with Sno-Balls] Sno-Balls? Sno-Balls? Where the fuck are the God damn Twinkies?
Columbus: I love Sno-Balls.
Tallahassee: I HATE coconut. Not the flavor, but the consistency.
Tallahassee: Not bad for a whiney little spit-fuck.
Columbus: [a zombie kills an obese man] Poor fat bastard.
Columbus: [a zombie is crushed by a falling piano] Poor flat bastard.
Columbus: You know there's a place untouched by all this crap?
Tallahassee: Out east, yeah?
Tallahassee: Out west, we hear it's out east, out east they hear it's out west. It's all bullshit. It's like you're a penguin at the North Pole hears the South Pole is real nice this time of year.
Columbus: There are no penguins in the North Pole.
Tallahassee: You wanna feel how hard I can punch?
Tallahassee: [Upon finding a Hummer filled with rifles] Thank God for rednecks!
Tallahassee: [after being taken hostage by Little Rock] Don't kill me with my own gun!
Tallahassee: [Searching for Twinkies] Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?
Columbus: Someone's ear is in danger of having hair brushed over it...
Tallahassee: Where are the fucking Twinkies?
Little Rock: Who's Bill Murray?
Tallahassee: ...I've never hit a kid before... I mean, that's like asking who Gandhi is.
Little Rock: Who's Gandhi?
Columbus: When Tallahassee gets going, he sets the standard for "not to be fucked with".
Columbus: It's amazing how fast the world can go from bad to total shit storm.
Tallahassee: [referring to Wichita and Little Rock, who previously hijacked them] They're in the back, aren't they?
Little Rock: [pops up holding shotgun] Just me.
Tallahassee: You got taken hostage by a little girl?
Columbus: She was like a crouching tiger...
Tallahassee: She's twelve!
Columbus: Well, girls mature way faster than boys. She's way ahead of where I was at that age.
Little Rock: Twelve's the new twenty.
Columbus: [Columbus sprays Tallahassee with perfume, Tallahassee turns around and glares at Columbus] Let me begin my three-part apology by saying that you're a wonderful human being.
Tallahassee: Forget about it. But FYI, I have beat wholesale ass for a whole lot less than that.
Little Rock: No! She's only famous when she's Hannah Montana! She's only famous when she's wearing the wig!
Tallahassee: [turning to Columbus, Wichita and Little Rock after a zombie kill] What do you think? "Zombie Kill of the Week"?
Columbus: Rule number one: Cardio.
Tallahassee: You've got a pretty mouth.
[hits a zombie with a banjo]
Columbus: In those moments where you're not quite sure if the undead are really dead, dead, don't get all stingy with your bullets. I mean, one more clean shot to the head, and this lady could have avoided becoming a human Happy Meal. Woulda... coulda... shoulda.
Columbus: [to an exasperated Little Rock] Oh, you're about to learn who you're gonna call... Ghostbusters.
0 Comments 194 weeks