Neighborhood in shock as Conor Feeney is accused of homosexual releations with cousin .
STILLORGAN GROVE - A usually calm Stillorgan Grove neighborhood is in shock this evening as one of their own was seen having homosexual sex with thier cousin on the front porch . Conor Feeney was seen this morning kissing and sexualy stroking "Bubba" which just happens to be a cousin .

Police then proceeded to apprehend Mr. Feeney after the suspect openly admitted to the public sex acts . While being taken into custody, it was reported that the suspect made several attempts to offer sexual favors to not be taken in .

Mr. Feeney was released from jail late this evening after it was verified that "Bubba" as well as Mr. Feeney were originaly both from Arkansas and that this type of behavior from their home state is not only legal but seen as a right .

Harvard scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoeostrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a
1-hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:

1.) Gained weight
2.) Talked excessively without making sense
3.) Became overly emotional
4.) Couldn't drive
5.) Failed to think rationally
6.) Argued over nothing
7.) Had to sit down while urinating
8.) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong

.. Sean O'Neill does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Sean O'Neill goes killing.

To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Sean O'Neill smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Sean O'Neill counted to infinity - twice.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Sean O'Neill.

A blind man once stepped on Sean O'Neill' shoe. Sean replied, "Don't you know who I am? Sean O'Neill!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Sean O'Neill.

Sean O'Neill ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

When Sean O'Neill sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Sean O'Neill has not had to pay taxes ever.

Sean O'Neill can touch MC Hammer.

Sean O'Neill once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

Sean O'Neill always has sex on the first date. Always.

Sean O'Neill is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Sean O'Neill.

Sean O'Neill sleeps with a night light. Not because Sean O'Neill is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Sean O'Neill.

Sean O'Neill likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

As a teen Sean O'Neill impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the worlds best rowing team.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Sean O'Neill and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Sean O'Neill is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a f**king Indian.

Someone once tried to tell Sean O'Neill that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

If Sean O'Neill is late, time better slow the f**k down.

Sean O'Neill lost his virginity before his dad did.

Sean O'Neill died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

At birth, Sean O'Neill came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Sean O'Neill but Sean O'Neill.

Sean O'Neill doesnt sleep, he waits

Sean O'Neill walked down the street with an erection the other day.... There were no survivors.

Sean O'Neill uses a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Sean O'Neill can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and
saying "booya".

Sean O'Neill goes to the toilet once a month, if he needs to or not.

There are in fact 31 letters of the English Alphabet however only Sean O'Neill knows what the extra 5 letters are.

Sean O'Neill has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

Sean O'Neill can believe it's not butter.

Sean O'Neill once ate a banana without having to peel it.

Every piece of furniture in Sean O'Neill' house is a Total Gym.

Ironically, Sean O'Neill' hidden talent is invisibility.

Sean O'Neill owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win
the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out
of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card
from the game UNO.

Sean O'Neill doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Since 1940, the year Sean O'Neill was born, ergometer related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

Sean O'Neill' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Sean O'Neill built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Sean met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting the