Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"

Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower!

Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

Yo mama so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!

Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life

Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!

Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday!

Yo mama so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!

Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints

Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry!

Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!

Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye

1. Tell her she is beautiful or gorgeous(not fine, or sexy)

2 . Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.

3 . Kiss her on the forehead/ neck.

4 . Leave her voice messages to wake up to.

5 . When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.

6 . Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.

7 . Pick her over all the other girls you hang out with.

8 . Write her notes. (she loves them)

9 . Introduce her to family and friends . . . as your girlfriend.

10 . Play with her hair.

11 . Pick her up, tickle her, and play-wrestle with her.

12 . Sit in the park and just talk to her.

13 . Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, or just tell her jokes.

14 . Let her fall asleep in your arms.

15 . If she's mad at you, kiss her.

16 . Give her piggyback rides.

17 . Bring her flowers

18 . Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.

19 . Look her in the eyes and smile.

20 . Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants.

21 . Kiss her in the rain.

22 . If your in love with her . . . tell her.