If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're
sitting down when you read it.
This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or
not!
This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno.

Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first
date that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience. There
was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter, snowing and quite cold, and the guy
had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It
was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly
had

never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until
they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually
began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They
were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle
of
nowhere!

Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there
came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go
beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.


They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car,
yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good
footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady
herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and
indeed
was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.

All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather
embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she
soon
became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants,
the
young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly frozen against the
car's
fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came
to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It
was
quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme
cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long"
with a reply that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of
some assistance!"
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her
sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out
laughing.
She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to
compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were
faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to
free
her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the
first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get
her
free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to
unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight
Show prize hands down -- or perhaps that should be "pants down."

And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment: "This gives a whole new meaning to being
pissed off.

ONE: Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO: Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE: Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR: When you say, "I love you,"mean it.

FIVE: When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX: Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN: Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT: Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE: Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN: In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN: Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE: Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN: When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN: Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN: Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN: When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN: Remember the three R's . . . Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN: Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN: When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY: Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE: Spend some time alone.

True love is when you find a heartbeat that matches your own,

Knowing at that moment, you never want to be alone.

True love isn't about giving up, but holding on,

It's a spark that develops into more than just a special bond.

True love is about gaining the strength to to speak from your heart,

To truly say what you feel, even if it tears you apart.

True love isn't about hiding what you feel inside,

It's about finding the courage to accept it with pride.

True love runs deeper, than the deepest ocean,

It could cause a commotion,this love, this emotion.

True love is about finding your better half,

The one that makes you happy, the one that makes you laugh.

True love isn't about holding hands,

It's about looking outward in the same direction and seeing where the other stands.

True love isn't about what you are expected to give,

It's about finding the courage to forget & forgive.

True love isn't about how much you do,

BUt with how much heart you do it with.

True love doesn't exist just for a day,

It's not a feeling that just comes & goes away...

True love isn't something you can easily explain,

It's more than just temptation, more than just pain.

True love is something that very few people share,

A feeling, an emotion...so deep...so rare...


~~~Gabriela E. Satele