ok ppl this is a tru account of wat xactly happened with the psycho cpl in the mess of mach only a few days ago. this accoutn is 100% accurate and if needed may b used in a court of law (but may also be updated at anytime by the author).

once upon a time in the blingin mod mach there rolld in a psycho cpl an his home-boys in thier diamond encrusted escalade...after snortin sum lines off the gold plated dsh board psycho cpl an his homies pull up to the mach mess.

he steps out

**bleep bleep** locks the pimp wagon

struts into the mess awith his diamnd encrusted fork an plate

he struts on up to the chef an hollas ''gimmi sum chips homeboy!!''

''how bout no?'' replies the pimpin chef

'wtf u best gimmie thos chips now **clicks hi fingers**'' he says

''u disrespectin me??'' asks the chef

''how bout u direspectin me?'' psycho repies an pulls out a colt 44 an says ''how bout i pop a cap in ur ass biatch if u dont gimmie chips??''


at this sudden movement the chef swiflty grabs 4 his double barrel sawn off shotgun which he has hidden under the counter....''how bout i pop 2 caps in each of ur ass!!'' asks the chef kindly

at this the arrant who is at the minute enjoying a nice bowl of cake and custard over hears the arguement taking place and goes to investigate.

he walks up to the pimps an says ''yo homies if use both dont shut the f*** up im gona pop caps in both ur asses now take ur god damn chips an roll on biatch!!''


psycho cpl is then given his chips an him n his homeboys go an seat to eat them. afer 1 bite he protests ''yo homies these chips r bitchin....lets go to MC D's for some proper food!!''


at this our story ends as psycho cpl an his homeboys take leave in the blingin escalade an make for the gr8 Mc D's.

Hurling, Ireland
Hurling isn't what the Irish do when they've had too much Guinness (well, not always). It's actually a mad kind of aerial hockey invented to make the English feel embarrassed about tiggy-touchwood soccer. If you haven't had the twisted pleasure of seeing this example of man's inhumanity to man, head to the Emerald Isle - but keep your head down. This 15-century-old activity pulls no punches.

A hurling match is perhaps the fastest spectator sport in the world (with only ice hockey matching it for up-close frenzy). From a distance it resembles a roaming pack-fight between men with thin pale legs and names like Liam and Sean. At ground level it's much more frightening, a kind of 15-a-side escape from the asylum. Hurling is rapid, breakneck and rambunctious. The game moves too fast for the novice to understand anything but the most basic rules, but you can start by imagining an egg-and-spoon race with a pack of enormous angry stick-wielding roosters charging the leader. The aim is to hurtle a pellet-hard ball called a sliotar into goals using a stick with a paddle at its end (hurley). The players balance the sliotar on their hurley and then run, hit or bounce it forward, sometimes with all limbs attached.

It's when the ball falls loose into a pack that the bravery (or
stupidity) of the combatants becomes clear. The running game becomes like a stationery game of no-rules hockey as players run in swinging their hurleys in the manner of a lumberjack on speed. Whacks to the shins are common, as is the occasional broken hand as some poor soul actually tries to pick the sliotar up out of this chaos.

The best place to see hurling is the atmospheric Croke Park in Dublin.

It's the home of the GAA - hurling's governing body - and the Scene of high-attendance finals matches. For those with an interest in the game's long history, Croke Park also hosts a high-tech museum. Of course, with the Irish being such great travelers, there's probably a game going on near you this weekend.

1. The community spirit behind sectarianism on both sides

2. We beat England 1-0 and made a song about it

3. We have 5 seasons; as well as Autumn, Spring, Winter and Summer we have the riot season (also known as marching season)

4. We have more terrorist organisations than the middle east

5. The home of Harp; the pint we call our own

6. We are so good, the English ripped off the look we call steek/milly and called it chav

7. The home of the petrol bomb

8. The average time you will have your wallet in the centre of Belfast is 35 seconds

9. The only place where you will have your car stolen and thieves will try and sell it back to you

10. We enjoy a challenge eg. if you lock your house up we will rob it but if you go out and leave your front door open and windows open we will not touch a thing, cuz its no fuckin fun!

11. The only country where people will fight over Rangers and Celtic and not know any players in the teams

12. Our riot squad are that good that they train the english police riot squads

13. The average teenager can make at least 3 diffrent types of explosive

14. The average pregnancy age is 13.5

15. The only country germany are afraid of