Fourth place
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his
elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft
as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your pe*is is as hard as your elbow, I'm in
room 221."




Third place.:
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts
rubbing his wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a
gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"




Runner Up:
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for
a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his
wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick
his pe*is into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he
should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he
would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on
his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see
at once that something was seriously wrong. "What's wrong,
Bill?" she asked.
Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge
to put my pe*is into the pickle slicer?"
Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed.
Yes, I did." he replied.
My God, Bill, what happened?"
I got fired."
No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
Oh...she got fired too."




Winner:
A couple had been married for 50 years.
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the
wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at
this breakfast table together."
I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here
naked as a jaybird fifty years ago."
Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."
Whereupon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the
table.
You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My
nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your
coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."

Killing the boredom......
Only two rules-- and you MUST follow them.
--1. You can only say YES or NO!
--2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING!!
------------------------------------------------------
Kissed a member of the same sex? yea
Danced in front of your mirror naked? fink so
Had a one night stand? Yup
Been in a fist fight? haha yeah
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back? course lol
Been arrested? Nah
Fooled around in your parents house? Haha lol
Ditched school to have sex? not dat bad jeezz
Slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Yup
Seen someone die? no
Kissed a picture? haha yep
Slept in until 3? Yes
Played dress up? no i fnk.... oh yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? Haha Yea yesterday lol
Touched a snake? nah dum aye
Ran a red light? yea just
Had detention? Yea
Been in a car accident? Yea i was driving
Pole danced? dnt fink so...
Been lost? define lost!!
Sang karaoke? yea...
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? Haha yup
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? yea
Kissed in the rain? dnt know
Sang in the shower? all the time
Gave your private parts a nickname? nope
Ever gone to school without underwear? lol yea...
Sat on a roof top? yup
Played chicken? Tried but 2 scared
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? does da puna count lol...aye waoriki
Broken a bone? I dnt fink so...2 much drinking da miraka lol
Mooned/flashed someone? Ehhh no
Blacked out from drinking? Dont no amnesia lol aye ruiha
Played a prank on someone? haha course u beta watch out lol
Felt like killing someone? mmmmm maybe
had sex more than 10 times in one day? noooo...fahhh dats a prosti i rekon
Had/Have a dog? yup
Been in a band or played an instrument? Nope
Taken more than 10 shots of alcohol? yea
Shot a gun? Yea
Do it again?? Maybe!!!!

A - You're dmn good in bed
B - You're always fun when it comes to meeting new people
C - You're wild and crazy
D - You have trouble trusting people
E - You have a nice ass!
F - People totally adore you
G - Love is something you deeply believe in
H - You have very good looks and personality
I - You're loyal to the ones you love
J - Everyone loves you
K - You like to try new things
L - You have beautiful eyes
M - Sex comes easily to you
N - You have a big warm heart
O - You love foreplay
P - You're popular with all types of people
Q - You're a hypocrite
R - You are hot and sexy
S - People think you are hot
T - You're the best in bed
U - You're cool
V - You're not judgemental
W - You're very broad-minded
X - You never let people tell you what to do
Y - You're the most hard azz gangsta alive
Z - You're super cool

----------
R - im hot and sxc
A - im damn good in bed (lol)
P - im popular with all types of ppl
A - im damn good in bed (lol again)
E - i have a nice arse
R - im hot and sxc( i knew it 2 times man i must b lol)
A - im good in bed (lol bey mils well call me a god lol)