Shotgun
The defintive Shotgun Rules

For all you co-pilots out there

History Lesson: The Term shotgun refers to back in old wild west days, when a person would have to sit next to the driver of the wagon with a shotgun to protect them from highway robbers

Rules So far

1. The Shotgunner must be in clear sight of the car, and shotgun can be called regardless of whether the driver is in sight of the car
2. If you are the first to be picked up on a journey, you are automatically given shotgun, until you violate the other shotgun laws and thus, forfeiting your position, the seat is yours.
3. You cannot declare shot gun if someone has previously declared shotgun for that journey.
4. When simultaneous shotgun is called, there is then a foot race to the passenger side door from the all the people who called
5. Shotgun cannot be called whilst inside a building (unless you are in a multi storey or underground car park!)
6. Shotgun can’t be called in advance, only whilst on the way to the car for the journey
7. On the call shotgun, if the driver wants to mix things up a bit he can call reload, this means that all calls of shotgun before that are void and the first person to call shotgun again gets the seat... and if you plain don't like the person who called shotgun.
This is often used when there is a simultaneous call and the driver is unsure of the outcome, also a shotgun can have 2 barrels so a reload can only be called once.
8. “The Annoying Retard Clause”- If Aforementioned annoying retard is in the vehicle, Shotgun rules are to ascertain who is in the back left seat as opposed to the passenger seat, to stop the annoying retard from his constant bitch slapping of the driver when a “yellow car” passes
9. Once shotgun has been called for the front seat then back left and back right can be called, thus leaving the fifth person who is travelling in the middle (or the "bitch" seat if you will).
10. Being as how everyone is created equal, men have the same right as women to the front seat of the car. I.e. women don't own the front seat! In addition to this, women give up their right to the social indignity associated with pushing/hitting/stabbing a woman in an attempt to reach the car first.
11. In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is dead or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun. And a coffin.
12. Once the journey is underway, the driver is the obvious controller of the tunes. However if they feel the road needs their full concentration, or they simply cannot be assed any more, duty is passed to the Shotgunner. However putting on crap tunes or allowing for silence when the ipod finishes a song or ANY instances of TAKE THAT will result in demotion to the back middle seat- the BITCH SEAT.
13. “The Shoe Rule”: anyone calling shotgun must have their shoes on, this is to stop people running outside and calling shotgun, then having to go back inside to put their shoes on, thus slowing the journey and causing anger amongst all the passengers.
14. Shotgun overrules Dibs, Baggsy's and other girly calls! There is no way to overrule Shotgun.
15. Despite the debate, shotgun can be used to shotgun things other than the front seat (e.g. back left, back right, women, not going to answer the door etc). The only exception to this rule is when it comes to buying food. The one who calls shotgun for not buying is automatically subject to an ass-kicking and expulsion from the room, minus their wallet.
16. If travelling with a couple, one of the couple must shotgun the front.....no one wants to chauffer two of their mates whilst they are sat in the back all over each other. Hereby known as the “get a room clause”.
17. If someone has successfully called shotgun, this gives them no right whatsoever to correct the driver on their navigation skills ("take a left here you idiot!") or driving ability ("I'd be in third gear if I was driving") if th

of all the stupid things..
As far as stupid questions go, these are the stupidest...

1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?

2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?

3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?

4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?

5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?

6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

11. What do people in China call their good plates?

12. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.

14. What do you call male ballerinas?

15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?

16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?

17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?

18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?

20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?

21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?

22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and
his beard trimmed.

As the barber began to work, they began to have a good
conversation. They talked about so many things and various
subjects. When they eventually touched on the subject of
God, the barber said: "I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.

"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God
doesn't exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so
many sick people? Would there be abandoned children? If
God existed, there would be neither suffering nor pain. I
can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because
he didn't want to start an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just
after he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with
long, stringy, dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty
and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and
he said to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber.
"I am here, and I am a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they
did, there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed
beards, like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! " answered the barber.
"What happens, is, people do not come to me."

"Exactly!"- affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too,
DOES exist! What happens, is, people don't go to Him and do not
look for Him. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the
world."