1 A nice bit of ham.
2 Buttered biscuits.
3 Diggin Holes.
4 Saying its too cold to snow
5 redbull
6 Tayto Cheese & Onion
7 tea
8 A stretch in the evening
9 Lucozade
10 Banjos
11 Pretending to like Holy Week.
12 A dinner dance
13 Gettin clattered in muck.
14 Shania Twain.
15 Hefers
16 Spittin in their hands before doing anything manual
17 Steel toe caps
18 A big bowl of carrots & parsnips.
19 Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car at GAA
20 Saying someones 'Opened a Book' on something.
21 The smell of fresh dung.
22 Slice-Your-Own Loaf.
23 Work Clothes
24 A bottle of mineral.
25 Fightin'.
26 Puttin on a ganzee to stop them from bein foundered
27 'The' Hurling/Fitball.
28 Being overweight.
29 Wimen That resemble Hefers.
30 Saying "Aaah" after taking their first sup of tae.
31 smelling slurry (good for yer lungs u townies)
32 Red diesel
33 The Fear of Change.
34 A nice bit of Barnbrac
35 Lying.
36 Building walls.
37 Being starved with the cold rather than with a lack of food
38 Pretending to like mass
39 Talking about shite like Flax and the Corncrake.
40 A good blackthorn walkin stick.
41 Shouting 'Yeeeeeoooo' when something good happens.
42 Mohammed Ali.
43 Machinery.
44 Strange uppy-downy walks.
45 A good f**kin read of Irelands Own.
46 Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead.
47 Scandal, as long as its about other people.
48 Turf, because Sentirl heatin's for wimen.
49 Soda farls
50 Sponge 'n Custirt
51 Newmerica', and anything to do with it.
52 Givin the dog the wildest baytins.
53 Givin the wife the wildest baytins.
54 soil
55 Winning a leg of lamb in a raffle.
56 Wrecking the house whilst steaming.
57 Club Orange
58 rubbing their hands together before tucking into their dinner
59 The Foot & Mouth.
60 Aetin' a big feed of spuds.
61 TK Red Lemonade
62 Good Short hair for boys and nice long hair for the wimen(it confuses them otherwise)
63 mixing cemment
64 going out and partayin
65 oil
66 painting
67 not washing for a month
68 girls
69 wiskey
70 a nice bit o beef
71 wd-40
72 dolly parton

Things Humans Should Learn
Human beings don't come with an owner's manual, but they should.


To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

Don't cry because it is over; smile because it happened.

You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

Never ask your 3 year old brother to hold a tomato.

You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

Never hold a Dust Buster and a cat at the same time.

You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Don't wear polka dot underwear under white clothes.

No matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

It takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

You can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have a big weener or huge boobs.

You shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

You can keep puking long after you think you're finished.

We are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

Regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.

No matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.

The people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.

Never, under ANY circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved (and never will achieve) its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, HE WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV in a bad suit, with a bad hairstyle.

No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Never lick a steak knife.

Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

--------------///--------The
-------------///---------Irish
-------/////////////-----Hunger
-----------///-----------Strikers
----------///------------1981
---------///-------------Tiocfaidh ar la