Was waiting on a bus on Sunday morning just beside McKenna's at the top of the Crumlin road when some young scallion came and asked me for a cigarette. I said

"sorry friend, but I've been off them for a few months now"

to which he enquired as to where I was from - being honest I told him I was from Ligoniel. Which obviously made me a Tiag. My friend did not seem to take to kindly to this revelation but he very kindly offered to kill me. I declined telling him that although my life was not the rose garden it once was, on balance I would rather keep it than blink into nothingness.

He tried to explain to me that 'provies' like myself were not allowed in Ballysillan, however as I could not understand the message that he was very coherently trying to deliver he decided that he would call a few of his like minded friends on his phone so they could help explain the situation to me.

To his dismay however there was no credit on his phone, perhaps he had used the last of his money on some harp and cocaine. However, he tried not to let this fact stop him from showing me to my senses, he called on other people, people on their way the shop for the sunday papers or perhaps to the moring service and asked them if they thought I should be brazingly waiting on a bus in this 'no go area' Happliy for me no one seemed to take very much interest in his wise words.

At this point he offered to have me a fair dig, and although I was tempted (especially given the fact that he was fucked off his face and about 7 stone) I decided that it was wiser not to have a fight in the middle of ballysillan - me being a taig and all.

Unpreturbed he went up to the street and rapped on the door of McKenna's - at this point I did feel a turtle popping his head out, was a bit tempted to see if my legs still had there old speed. The door to McKenna's was answered but luckily for me whoever answered it must have been tired of quite possibly not a biggoted bastard.

As he began to come back - a spied the glorious sight a number 11 bus to bring me from 1980's ballysillan back to present time.

1.NAME ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
banjo, - I was plucking too hard

2. WHATS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
Paddy rob john joey

3. ARE YOU HAPPY?
sometimes

4. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
good music

5. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT DESKTOP PICTURE?
Penguins swimming in the zoo (underwater)

6. WHAT DO U WANT TO DO TODAY?
Wlk through the Glen

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?
My youth

8. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN AT?
no idea

10 WHAT ENDED YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP?
lack of understanding

11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
yup, it terrorfies, terrafes, scores, froks me uot


No...


12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Ella

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE / PERFUME?
12 Hour shift

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Brown

15. DO YOU LIKE PAINKILLERS?
Yes my favourite is Cabernet Sauvingnon

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
Double expresso

17. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
Everything theplace sells, yes its expensive so I normally make it my self (a lá drunken chéf)

18. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Ahem....

19. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
Angus

20. DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
Non, je parle anglais suellement

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU?
a Million dollars $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

22. DO U LIKE SOMEONE?
I like many people.

2. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
nope

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?
Cheap

25. WHAT'S YOUR DREAM CAR?
RC from toy story

27. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MARRIAGE?
it fine for some people

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
Nope

29. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Everyday in everything you do. (this answer was copied from Kerry Massey - I cannot give a better one - this is perfect)


30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
Life the universe and everyhing

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Brunodes

32. WHO IS THE ONE PERSON YOU CALL OFTEN?
sadly I only call on myself

33. WHAT ANNOYS YOU?
Rudeness (again copied) but also lies and deceit

35. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
I cannot let go - even when I know that I should

36. WHAT WAS THE LAST GIFT YOU RECIEVED?
A burnese Dream (george orwell Book)

38. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Mr D Zych could testify to it

40. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
on my credit card

41. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN IN LOVE?
2

43. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
break the law

44. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
a best selling novel penned by my own hand

45. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
I have one, I always said I wanted two and for a time it was three. (I know that it will only ever be one now, but I'm lucky cos Ella is amazing)

46. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My Uncle

47. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
Not really, Every time I see a star I say the same thing that I have been saying since I was 15, its not a wish, more a rememberance but I dont think Jennie would like me to say who the wish was about

48. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
the middle one

49. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
28 March

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes, When I was 17 in school ,a PHD student interviewed me then asked me out on the basis of my hand writing - so yes, yes I like my handwirting

51. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Old Style Irish ham

52. ANY BAD HABITS?
Onle the vino - haven;t smoked since feb (yes I miss the nicotime)

53. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON THE SHELF?
Aqua (I can't even lie and say that I bought it for turn back time - Dr Jones all the way)

54. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Maybe an aquaintance

55. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL?
Not that I remember

56. DO LOOKS MATTER?
A little

57. HOW DO YOU RELEASE YOUR ANGER?
In a violent rage long after the fact

58. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
wherever I lay my tent

59. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?

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