YOU KNOW YOU'RE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT WHEN.........

Description:
1. You can eat a 4 course meal standing at the kitchen counter
2. You search for a button to flush the toilet
3. You look for the "crew line" at the grocery store
4. You can pack for a 2 week trip to Europe in 1 roll-aboard
5. All of your pens have different hotel names on them
6. You NEVER unpack
7. You can recognize pilots by the backs of their heads-but not by their faces
8. You can tell from 70 yards away if a piece of luggage will fit in the overhead bin
9. You care about the local news in a city three states away
10. You can tie a neck scarf 36 ways
11. You know at least 25 uses for air sickness bags-none of which pertain to vomit
12. You understand and actually use the 24-hour clock
13. You own 2 sets of uniforms: fat and thin
14. You don't think in "months"-you think in "bid packs"
15. You always point with two fingers
16. You get a little too excited by certain types of ice
17. You stand at the front door and politely say "Buh-bye, thanks, have a nice day" when someone leaves your home
18. You can make a sentence using all of the following phrases: "At this time," "For your safety," "Feel free," and "As a reminder"
19. You know what's on the cover of the current issues of In Touch, Star, and People magazines
20. You stop and inspect every fire extinguisher you pass, just to make
sure the "gauge is in the green"
21. Your thighs are covered in bruises from armrests and elbows
22. You wake up and have to look at the hotel stationery to figure out where you are
23. You refer to cities by their airport codes
24. You actually understand every item on this list
25. Everytime the door bell rings you look up at the ceiling.You serve your guest alcohol mini's
26. you change into you "galley shoes" to cook dinner at home
27. You open your bathroom doors at home slowly incase someone forgot to lock it.
28. You only know 250 or 350 degrees on your home oven
29. When you ask your spouse when they will be coming home from work you ask for their "ETA"
30. You can spot out an airplane from the ground above and tell the other person what airline it is!
31. You go through each room at your friends place looking for magazines to read!
32. You bring home different grocery bags full of goodies that you can't get in your home town! and tell a story about it!
33. You know better NOT to date a pilot!
34. Your a fire fighter, a nurse, a security officer and a server all in one!


So you want to be a flight attendant?

Go to a resale store and find an old, navy suit that an army sergeant might have worn. Add a white shirt and a tie. Wear that same outfit for three consecutive days.
Go to an airport and watch airplanes take off for several hours. Pretend you are standing by for them and they are all full. Go home. Return to the airport the very next day and do the same thing again.
Fill several large boxes with rocks. Lift them over your head and place them on the top shelf of a closet. Slam the door shut until the boxes fit. Do this until you feel a disc slip in your back.
Turn on a radio. Be sure to set it between stations so there is plenty of static. Turn on the vacuum cleaner and garbage disposal. Run them all night.
Remove the covers from several T.V entrees. Place them in a hot oven. Leave the food in the oven until it's completely dried out. Remove the hot trays with your bare hands. Serve to your family. Don't include anything for yourself. Serve your family a beverage one hour after they've received their meal. Make them remain in their seats during this time. Ask them to scream at you and complain about the service. Scrounge uneaten rolls off the plates for you to eat 6 hours later when you're really hungry. Place a straight-backed chair in a closet facing a blank wall. Use a belt to strap yourself into it. Eat the rolls you saved from your family's meal.
Ask your family to use the bathroom as frequently as possible. Te