Coming into this holiday I thought it would be extremely hard to top last years Malia trip. Ibiza 2008 not only beat it hands down but can probably count as the best week of my life.
We arrived in the early hours of Sunday morning, and with not so much as a sign of a wash, proceeded to head out and begin our boozing for the week. The discovery of the week was Funky Flares. Not everyones cup of tea but if a cheesy 70's bar such as flares can get Jimmy Walker going then it must be doing something right. The boys then discovered the Jungle Cats, Woody, Bisp and Watts smashing it up in Capones Video Bar, wearing the now famous bright Visors. Chrissy Frix managed get a gash in his leg the size of Preskys arsehole, and turned the streets of the west end claret.
Monday night was DJ Tiesto's opening night in Ibiza. After buying my 50 euros tickets i then decided it was a good idea to get absloutely smashed, something that became a regular occurence over the course of the trip. After sinking 3 jugs of sangria i did what only i do best in that state, cry my little eyes out. I then managed to wonder off on my own and lose everyone. The problem being Claudio had all our tickets. It was one of those situations where i just thought fuck it, and decided to board the party bus alone. I may have been the only Englishman on the bus but that didnt matter to me as i had managed to sit next to the most stunning Brazilian girl you have ever seen. What a laugh it was, but then i was brought back down to earth by the fact that i had to pay an extra 60 euros to get in the club. Luckily the boys appeared and we raved the night away before getting a lift home with a bloke claiming to be Rafa Nadals mate.
We also had our final warning on only the second day. We didnt really know what we had done but the rumour mill was churning and it came out with the story that there had been jizzy jonny left on a door knob. The culprit is yet to be found.
After the extravagant spending on Tiesto night, tuesday was spent on the west end strip again. By this time our group of lads had picked up some new additions. 1st of all the Aston Uni girls, emily charlotte and canons. after another visit to funky flares we ended up in the highlander meeting more galfi boozehounds, the jocks. after wittering away to a couple of them upstairs i realised i had been left by my fellow boozehounds and was left to stagger home with the scottish lasses. Boozehound had now become the word of the holiday, originating from Rickos bloodhound like appearance coupled with his heavy boozy antics. We also had the song of the holiday courtesy of Bispy Buble, "Well its a marvelous night for a Moondance."
The heavy antics of tuesday took its toll and for the first but not last time i was consumed by a big black dog of a hangover. Me, killy and ricko decided it would be best for all our sakes if we took one for the team and stayed in for the night. After seeing the Aston girls off home, we then decided to hit the sack, only to be woken at 6 in the morning by a rendition of the moondance form jimmy woodfield.
After taking our r n r the previous night Me, ricko and killy all felt fresh for some proper boozehound antics. We were also joined by wattsy and piled into linekers to watch the cricket and drink. We embarked on a mission to drink a shot of beer at the end of every over and after sitting through over 600 balls and 350 runs, we were well and truly boozy. our trip to burger king for food ended in farce as our quiet little meal descended into one huge food fight. Fun times!
The night time promised to be an even bigger piss up than the day and after sinking copeus amounts in coyote's all you can drink bar we marched onto the Es Paradis water party. Bouncing down the road singing and shouting, the boozehounds attracted the unwanted attention of the Guardia Civll, or baton wielding maniacs to most. I luckily came away unscathed but others were not so luckily, with Killys balls resembling a b

Well boys what a week it was. From getting started on by a taxi driver with a stick, to Killy deciding he fancied an extended break, this holiday will certainly live long in the memory. Not only did us lads have a laugh but we also met some fantastic people. The lichfield lads, top lads every one of ya, Gemma and her boyfriend from Mansfield were entertaining, the Worcester girls stalked us from plane journey to hotel and back again the geordie birds coming to life on the last night and not forgetting the two Scottish lasses (Morag staying up til the crack of dawn with her nutella n biscuits ) you all made the holiday even better. Its a shame though that our time in Soula was prematurely cut short, when Big Lazarus had a paddy n decided to throw us out cuz Killy wet the bed In the pulling steaks, the group was split into two camps. There was Killy, Si, and controversially Brett, who all claimed to be loved up. Killy and Si actually had birds Brett used his imagination . Therefore it left me kitch n ricko free n easy. Despite all my efforts on the Wednesday night, i failed to pull, but did see Kitch snatch a girl from under my nose. This, however was made up for on the last night, when i somehow managed to pull a stunner, Jess from Mansfield. By coincidence she was also staying in our new hotel, but Killy's insistence on hanging around meant that I didn't have an opportunity to further our relationship. As for Ricko the only thing he succeeded in doing was sweating and fighting, but then again when does a Zulu warrior have time for women.
What an amazing week we all had, what brilliant friends we all made, and what a life we lead!
To everyone who i met and every person involved in Malia 2007, I love you all. xxxxxxxx

"Ashley Freeman, lovely bloke, he'll never make a cricketer."
"Are we goin back on Mick?" "You can do but you'll be doin it without me!"
"Dan Young, if he lives till he's 1000 he'll never make a cricketer!"
" Adam Gailey, if he's going to play a shot like that he can fuck off back to Australia"
"We had a levy in '72, we just got on with it."