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Anti GANGSTA Group
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- Gangsters are stupid
- Me, Myself, and I
- What is a GANGSTER?
There are two types of "gangster":
1) A wannabe thug, often illiterate and an inhabitant of a downtrodden ghetto that hangs around in "gangs"; largely associated with the African-American subculture. These try-hard wanna be "gangstas" attempt to make themselves appear like real criminals by graffiting buildings, smoking/selling drugs and trying to looking all "bad-ass and macho an'-shit, yo". An utter degradation of what true gangsters represent (see below), and street wannabe "gangsta"-types don't hold a candle to what real gangsters are.
2) The *real* gangsters are those behind organised crime; most notably the Mafia. Responsible for blackmarket trade, epsionage, organised beatings/assassinations, etc. "The Godfather" portrays the archtype of true gangsters, showing the brutality of mob beatings, shootings, running rackets and abusing woman, alcohol and everything in between.
1. You have to master the swagger of your typical homie. Watch MTV for inspiration, then imitate the ridiculous walk of your favourite rap star.If you find yourself having difficulties, visualize yourself with a massive case of hemmorhoids, and/or a pickle shoved up your ass. A big pickle.
- Are your feet wider apart than your shoulders?
- Do you have a decided backwards slant to your torso?
- Do your knuckles hit the back of your calves?
If so, you can continue.
2. Language is very important. When attempting to fit in with the rap community, you must forget everything you have learned about the English language and how to speak it properly. It helps if you have some sort of speech impediment, preferably one which makes you sound like you have a mouth full of oatmeal at any given point. Remember, contractions are your new god. Practice at home, at the bus station, at school; anywhere you can.
yo'ma'ma = A derogatory term, used to insult your mother. (Note: this is supposed to incense you.)
word, y'all = Something roughly equivalent to hello.
Variations on this are many: what'up ho'mes; word to yo'ma'ma; yo y'all (pl. y'allz); what'up; what'da word from'da 'hood; and others.
you best be steppin' = You should leave, before the speaker decides to hurt you.
I'm a gon'open a can of whoop'ass on y'all = I will beat you up.
watch'or mouf, man = It would probably be a wise idea, when this is heard, to shut up.
mofo = Motherfucker, in the new hip short talk.
I gots ta bounce = Roughly equivalent to goodbye.
cruisin' = walking about aimlessly, shoving each other into old people and laughing uproariously, whilst calling each other mofos.
- Do you use four-letter words within 30 seconds of each other?
- Can you drop a syllable off of every word without thinking about it?
- Can you omit words such as "of" and "to" with ease?
- Would you be unintelligible to your aunts or uncles?
If not, you'd better practice a little more.
3. You'll have to acquire a g' name. 2-Pac is a popular one, as is Biggie. (For more information, see "people" section below.) Or, there's always shortening your name to the first letter of your first name, then adding an adjective. For example, there's Lil' J, or Big R. You can also go with just the adjective: Slim, Shorty, etc. You'll fit right in.
- Does your name sound stupid?
Well, since this is the only evident requirement, on we go.
4. You'll need to be hip to the rap gurus of the moment. A commonly idolized rapper, 2-Pac, was shot some time ago. In the "softcore" rap crowd, Ma$e and Puff Daddy are really cool. Busta Rhymes, Lil' Kim, Biggie Smalls (also dead), Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr. Dre are also cult favourites. Feel free to mix 'n' match at will.
With the celebrities, come the "sides". There's Westside and Eastside. They have nothing to do with where you are on a map. To demonstrate your undying allegiance to the Westside, cross the two middle fingers on one hand, and wave that hand about profusely, whilst shouting "Wess'ide, man..Wess'ide!" This will go over big. The Eastside sign is formed by turning the previously-made W upside down, in the shape of an M. One will shout "Yo'mofos! Eass'ide rules!" or something of that ilk. Make sure, before you attempt the hand signs, that you're with a group of the same patriotism, or else you'll get a can of whoop'ass opened on you. Y'all, rather.
- Can you name the past five rap stars to have gotten shot?
- Can you wave your hands about with sufficient fury to give yourself carpal tunnel syndrome?
- Are you scared of your own idiocy?
Let's hope so. These are crucial before moving on to the last section.
5. G' clothing is rather simple.
For pants, all you need to do is cruise the local mall until you find a really fat person. Check out the waist size on his jeans, then head to the nearest store playing rap music to buy a matc
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