Dreams & Schemes


(These words struck a cord with me)What do you think???

There's a story about a famous person who made in a highly competitive sport. Someone asked her, "How did you make it?" and she replied "It was something I always dreamed about!" The someone said "Well I dreamed of being a rock star and it never happened!" The famous person said "Well, when did you stop dreaming?"

Dreams are not just wishful thinking but can be extraordinary motivation triggers, if we can harness them. They are not just the wild images and fantasies that come into our heads during sleeping. A dream is a pumped up goal.

Here's an example - an 8 year old says "I'd really love to be a professional footballer". He plays football a lot with friends and keeps thinking about it. He grows up and takes a job in a sports centre.

Another 8 year old says the same thing. He plays every day and at weekends. He goes for coaching. He dreams of being a footballer each night before he falls asleep. He gets picked for a local club's School of Excellence. When his mates start smoking, he decides to go running every night. He makes it eventually.

If you have a dream, everything else revolves around it 'til it is achieved. Most people give up because the effort and concentration is too much for them. But if you want to go for your dream life, you have to go for it as if your life depended on it, because it does!

Dreaming your Dreams
Try this technique and practise it every day for two weeks to imprint it on your subconscious:


Think of something you really want for yourself or something you want to happen
Get a picture of some kind in your mind of what it would be like if you achieved this dream - how you would be.
See anything you can see about it - colours, shapes, people in your dream
Hear yourself and anyone/anything else, which would be part of the dream
Imagine the feeling you would have from achieving your dream
Freeze frame everything - what you see, hear and feel
Allow yourself to come back to the present. You now have a strong focus to work with but keep practising this 'rehearsal' technique - it will pay off.

Being motivated to go for your dreams takes energy and action, but most people give up before they begin because they think their probability of success is zero. They bail out before the boat even gets a hole.

Some people don't go for success to spare themselves the disappointment of failing because they expect to fail! There's a neat and realistic way of checking your probability of success, here's the formula.

Give yourself a score out of 10 for these characteristics with regard to your dream:

Potential (what you could develop)
Talent (natural ability)
Determination
Passion

Confidence on your own


There are good and bad sides to single life. If all your friends are in relationships, life can be lonely. If you're the only one in a couple, being on your own can seem like freedom.

Being the only single person in your group can be isolating. You start to wonder why you haven't got a partner and this can knock your self-esteem. When you get these thoughts pamper yourself - get a new haircut or some new clothes - anything that makes you feel good again.

Relationships mean compromise. When you're single you only have to worry about yourself. Your time is your own, so make the most of it. Use the time others spend developing a relationship to develop yourself instead. Go out and grab everything that life has to offer.

You won't meet anyone if you always hang around in the same crowd. Expand your circle of friends. Take up a sport, do an activity or go clubbing. Put yourself in a situation where you're likely to meet the kind of person you'd like as a potential partner.

Looking after number one is important if you're single. Confidence is the most attractive attribute you can have. Appearing desperate is a real turn off. Enjoy life to the full whether you're single or in a couple. A relationship will come along but, if not, single life can be a lot of fun.

Good Realationships

It's not easy; in fact, it's a lot of hard work. But it's worth the effort because the more you put into a relationship, the more you get out of it.

The key to a good relationship is mutual respect and good communication. You have to be able to talk to your partner. This means being brave enough to discuss issues that may be upsetting. If you have a problem, don't hold back. A problem that's bottled up can get out of proportion. Talking it through can ease the pressure and enable you both to find a solution.

If your partner raises doubts about your relationship, put yourself in their shoes. Imagine how you would feel if you were them. Don't leap in and make accusations, don't get upset, let them speak - even if this means hearing things you don't like. Perhaps they have a valid point about something, which you could try and sort out.

Feeling comfortable about talking means feeling good about yourself. You need self-esteem to feel assertive. Be as true to yourself as you can. Respect your own thoughts and opinions and be honest about them. Your partner will love you for who you are. Pretending to be something you're not won't work in the long term.

Just as you should be yourself, your partner should be, too. This inevitably means that you won't agree on everything and could end up having rows. Accept that your partner has a right to their own views. You don't have to agree with those views, but you should respect them. It takes compromise to make a relationship work.

Give and take is one thing, but there may be issues on which you're not willing to compromise. It's okay not to see eye to eye on everything. It would be boring if you did. Listen to your partner's ideas and try and see it from their angle. Not finding common ground doesn't mean your relationship is doomed.