- R.I.P John...
- Me, Myself, and I
- 5082800626 thats my american number, ill let yas work out the codes!!
...I turn back for a moment and catch a smile
That blows this whole fucking place apart...
cape cod for 6 months in march, gonna be quality!!!!
- forrest gump soundtrack
- forrest gump
- Mark Duffy
- Helena Campbell
- Richie Reville-Maguire
- Ayo Mc
- Chris Behan
- Gerbal Tea
- Seamus McNally
- Sinead Mc
- Fergal Kelly
- Brid Mc Auliffe
- Chubby Funster O' Reilly
- Eoin Durkan
- We Will Manage Ur Ass
- Ciara Loves T
- Michelle O'Neill
- Dave Greene
- Chris O' Callaghan
- Niamh McCarthy
- Laura Rock
- Michael Hayden
- Paddy Curtin
- Jennifer Oneill
- The Tonix
- official The Beatles
- The Beatles
- official Bruce Springsteen & the E-Street Band
- The Police
- The Kooks
- Arctic Monkeys
- official Razorlight
- official Paolo Nutini
- kings of leon
- Johnny Cash
- The Coronas
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Appreciation Club
- official Bright Eyes Official
- official Hard Fi
Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine: When will you be back?
Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified
Steve: This fog is getting thicker.
Johnny: And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger.
Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now
Reporter: What kind of plane is it?
Johnny: Oh, it's a big pretty white plane with red stripes, curtains in the windows and wheels and it looks like a big Tylenol.
Steve: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit drinking.
Steve: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit smoking.
Steve: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.
Steve: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines.
Lady: First time?
Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.
Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: I am serious... and don't call me Shirley.
Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?
Rumack: What was it we had for dinner tonight?
Elaine: Well, we had a choice of steak or fish.
Rumack: Yes, yes, I remember, I had lasagna.
Captain Oveur: [he is in the middle of a phone call with the Mayo Clinic when an operator tells him that there's an emergency call on Line 5 from Mr. Hamm] All right, get me Hamm on five; hold the Mayo.
Boy with Coffee: Excuse me, I happened to be passing, and I thought you might like some coffee.
Little (7yr old)Girl: Oh, that's very nice of you, thank you.
Boy with Coffee: Cream?
Little (7yr old)Girl: No, thank you, I take it black, like my men.
Rumack: Mr. Striker, the passengers are getting worse. You must land soon.
Striker: Surely there must be something you can do.
Rumack: I'm doing everything I can... and STOP calling me Shirley.
Controller: I know but this guy has no flying experience at all. He's a menace to himself and everything else in the air... yes, birds too.
Striker: No dice, Chicago. I'm giving the orders and we're coming in. I guess the foot's on the other hand now, isn't it Kramer?
(reading paper headlines...)
Kramer: Passengers certain to die!
Steve: Airline negligent.
Johnny: There's a sale at Penney's!
"We have clearance, Clarence"
"Roger, Roger. What's our vector, Victor?"
0 Comments 310 weeks
(0) Shoe Size: 6, 7 or 8…depends
(1) Your gender: male
(2) Straight/gay/bi?: straight
(3) Single?: yep
(4) Want to be?: ah I dunno, Its got its ups an downs
(5) Your birth day: feb 14th
(6) Age You Wish You Were: dunno, im happy wit 19
(7) Your height: avnt a clue…around the 10ft mark
(9) The color of your eyes: green I tink
(10) The color of your hair: brown
(11) Piercings?: nope
(12) Tattoos?: nope
D O Y O U . . .
(13) Smoke? nope
(14) Do drugs? nope
(15) Read the newspaper?: yea its class
(16) Pray?: d odd time
(17) Talk to strangers? Aye, sure everyone was a stranger at sum time!!
(1 Take walks in the rain?: well I do live in ireland
(19) Drive?: yep
(20) Like to drive fast?: no, its dangerous…think!!
H A V E Y O U E V E R . .
(21) Hurt yourself?: ha, yep….bu not on purpose if ur wonderin
(22) Been out of the country?: yep
(23) Been in love?: yea, back in ‘67
(24) Done drugs? Repeat questions?
(25) Gone skinny dipping?: dnt tink so
(26) Had a surgery?: yup
(27) Ran away from home?: dunno, bu iv walked away millions of times
(2 Played strip poker?: iv stripped, an played poker…so yes
(29) Gotten beaten up?: yea, back in ‘67
(30) Been picked on?: who hasn’t bin?!
(31) Been on stage?: yup
(32) Slept outdoors? yup!
(33) Had a best friend? Ah yea.
(34) Pulled an all-nighter?: yep
(35) If yes, what is your record?: all nite perhaps??..wot a shite question
(36) Talked on the phone all night?: no, I have a penis
(37) Slept together with the opposite sex without actually having sex?: yep
(3 Slept all day?: yea, its amazing, feels weird wen ya wake up at nite
(39) Killed someone?: yea, back in ‘67
(40) Made out with a stranger?: ha, made out!!
(41) Had sex with a stranger?: 2 million times…an countin
(42) Kissed the same sex?: not at all
(43) Done anything sexual with the same sex?: nope
(44) Been betrayed?: chances are I have yea
(45) Broken the law?: ha, yep
(46) Met a famous person?: all the time
(47) Been on radio/TV.? Yea my picture was on the den years ago for my bday
(4 Been in a mosh-pit?: dunno
(49) Had a nervous breakdown?: nope im way too laid back
(50) Been criticized about your sexual performance?: ha..sex
(51) Had a dream that kept coming back?: yea, actually it came back las nite, it’s a weird un
(52) Shoe brand?: have I ever shoe brand?
(53) What are you normally wearing to school/work?: clothes usually
(54) Wear hats?: wen its cold yea
(55) Judge other people by their clothing? Sumtimes yea! everybody will at sum stage
(56) Wear make-up?: ha, nope
(57) Favorite places to shop?: places that sell tings, look out for dem!!
(5 Favorite article of clothing?: avnt a clue, im a man!!
(59) Are you trendy?: u tell me
B E L I E F S
(60) Believe in life on other planets?: yep
(61) Miracles?: yep
(62) Astrology?: dunno
(63) Magic?: magic johsons real..so therefore yes
(64) God?: yep
(65) Satan?: yup
(66) Santa?: wot a man!
(67) Ghosts?: yep
(6 Luck?: yep
(69) Love at first sight?: dunno, possibly yea
(70) Yin and Yang?: ha, I dunno wot dat is
(71) Witches?: not really, wait I do, forgot about Sabrina!!
(72) Easter bunny?:nope
(73) Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: yep, defo!
(74) Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: no, its actually silver
(75) Do you you wish on stars?: yep!!..well falling an shooting ones, otherwise id b der wishin all nite!
L O V E , and all that
(76) Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title?: no not really
(77) Do you remember your first love?: love is gay
(7 Still love him/her?: gay
(79) Do you consider love a mistake?: nope..well, it depends really
(80) What do you find romantic: d usual id say
(81) Turn-on?: dunno, I know wen I see
(82) Turn-off?: liars..cant stand em!!..well bad lies loike, dnt mind dem small crappy ones
(83) Do you base your judgement on looks alone: 90% of d time yea
(84) Have you ever wish
0 Comments 321 weeks
Q: What is better than winning a medal at the Special Olympics?
A: Not being retarded
Q: What's blue and fucks old people?
Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the battered wives' shelter?
A: The dishes if she knows what's good for her
Q: How do you swat 200 flies at one time
A: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
Q: What is the definition of "making love"?
A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking
Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in
A: They don't fucking listen.
Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?
Q: Why did God create yeast infections?
A: So women would know what it's like to live with an
irritating cunt once in a while too.
Q. How can you tell a macho woman?
A. She rolls her own tampons.
Q. whats the difference between your girlfriend and a sheep?
A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.
Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?
A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13!
Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it.
Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?
A. Your ass kicked.
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?
A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.
Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty
miles an hour.
Q. Why do women call it PMS?
A. Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of macho?
A. Jogging home from your own vasectomy.
Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?
A. The cake jumps out of the girl.
Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?
A. You know she'll swallow.
Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the same day in Iraq?
A. They don't want to wear out the camel.
Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?
A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it is bedtime?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand...
Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?
A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis,it's not time.
Q. Do you know how Aussies practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the animals that kick.
Q. Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it.
2 Comments 338 weeks
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