Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

It's up at last.......LADIES!!!

This is our Turkey JOTTA!!!

Life is life!!!!

Michelle got a really good "deal" in the pound shop.....on what we shall not mention here!!

Angela sometimes sees things that arent there......?!

Gillian got a proper grown up job - she is already planning her two week drinking binge!!

"I thought I was going to explode for a while there.....but i didnt" (Michelle!!)

We tried to find our real strengths.......and failed!!!

I hear his voice in my head the next day (Angela!!)

Blagging free aeroplane meals!! Whoop whoop!!

What happens in Turkey stays in Turkey!!( just found out we are in the same apartments as Frankies Jamesie!!)

Angela likes to bathe in sun tan lotion....."its quicker" (stated a lotion covered angela!!)

"I've just had my first lesbian crush" (Angela!!)

"There's a girl in a short skirt wow" (Michelle!!)
"Do you fancy her?" (Gillian)
----->supposedly 1 in 3 girls is a lesbian.....hhmmmm I wonder who?!

THE TURKISH BATH EXPERIENCE

The Sauna

Initially Gillian wanted to add more water to the coals as it 'wasnt hot enough'.....luckily enough there was no water available and it ended up roasting anyway.
"You're glowing" (Michelle to Angela)...."Im sweating like a horse!! (Michelle!)
"He was arousing us" says Gillian who was describing how a man was trying to make her and Michelle laugh!!

Proceed to the bathing area.....Angela got scrubbed by "the attractive lady" - as did michelle!
Gillian got scrubbed by Turkish man with Cockney accent and pony tail....what an interesting combo!

"Just poured beer down my face".....why am i single (Gillian dribbling!!)

Chilling on the loungers.....little did we know there was more to come..............FULL BODY OIL MASSAGE BABY!

Man blows in our ears....hhmmmm we wonder if this is part of the deal.....man massages close to bikini seam line......we wonder if this is part of the deal!! "Crush girl" is marrid to massage man !!

The end.....drank lots of apple tea, gillian ate 5 sugar lumps....Cockney turkish man has to massage feet of MASSIVE NI MAN....evidence of COPD throughout massage! Cockney turkish man wows at size when assisting guy off seat....we were thinking it but he said it....LEGEND!


"It's never a good thing when your sweating underneath the air con!"(Michelle!!)
"I have left my bag unattended" (Angelas bag is in the bushes!)
"That door's open Michelle...i would like you to hold on to us please!!"(Gillian on dolmus!)
On dolmush home driver gave Gillian sweet and says she is beautiful...."Teshekular" says Gillian while freaking out about the a) PDA b)The risk of dolmus crash due to driver consistently staring and winking at Gillian!!!

Volleyball....noseball...headball.
 ....boob ball!!!
Michelle tried to create underwater current to draw hot lilo boy towards us!
Angela made us watch ehr bubbles....a product of copious amonths of fruit eating!
"We shimmy towards each other and people think we are THE GAY!!(Echo!)
COIST card playing!

"I dont really need my phone anyway" (massive quote from Angela on only 3drinks!!)
"You need boyfriends" (Adnan!)
"Girl dies jumping off rock" (Going through Gillians head before jump at rafting!) "Girl jumping off tock dies second time"(thought prevents Gillian from jumping off rock 2nd time!!)
"OOHH AAHH OOHH AAHH SSHHH everyone be quiet and we'll come up their rear"(Lee)
"come on everybody....lets do it hard and fast" (Lee)
Sonia's new home is under the boat!
"I have something crawling all over me....will you check please (Michelle!)
"Gel" (rafting man) "what (Gillian) "How old are you?" (rafting man) "22" (gillian just before rafting man proceeds to pull gillian towards him using life jacket....help!! cant she go anywhere?!?!?!)
"Faster please faster please please!!"
Angela braves it in the rapids.......
"Look into my eyes....what do you see?!(Easo) "Angelas about to come" (Gillian) "If i havent already!!!!(Angela)

This lovely piece of literature was created by A.MacKenzie.....the banter will not end!!

Meeting my match"..as hannah put it, High fives! piggy backs, Conjoing offers! Bouncing! Being content! Cider wine and jeger bomb trains! Rounders, The incredible hulk! "Sticking it to the man" Eddie Murphey! Yellow cards! B-Batteries! Dancing! B&Q! Am ok...you ok theory! dinner parties? dancing like your single! Husky voices... and silent singing! Friends! Vertual alarm clocks! "Money and men, money and men, money and men....travel and...experience"!

Breakdancing, Tom-Tom - Male/female?! "Yes i am are you?" I can walk home by myself"...BANG! Stornoway boys! Shorts! £1.57 holidays! Chocolate therapy, Harry potter, "48 txt msgs a day"! The bristol stool chart "How did it get into her room"? Flip-flops and Jelly shoes, Ikea, Health and safety! Cups of tea! Dancing round hand bags! Strumming!

..."Whoop-Whoop's", T in the park..although spider man, what were you thinking! Mystic Meg, The taboo lesbian subject! love! Casinos! The big book of small stuff..appreciate the small things! Closure! Pirate hookers, Wagon wheels v's twix? Mandel candles! Arousing room spray and decking parties!"And Iiiii said....and heeeeee said", or just.... iiiii saaaaid, do do lists, mangovers and hangovers, Michelles love charriot..helmet...gel seat..mud-guards and trousers tucked into socks.

"O.I.L"...?.."Oil Industry Lovers"!? Derik Man! Anything you can do Calum can do better! "Fanta filled babies" and "fanta filled fu**ers", Wrestling! Calum can even talk about himself in the 3rd person! "durex dogs", C Morgans and coke with a dash of guinness, Spooning and cupping, Going to bed with your boots on and sweating prefusely, Ciran currency, chicken and sex, ABB's..MDI's and PDA's,POA'S? and PDU's "I found jesus through...the sheerwood bible! Police stopping gillian...and demanding her to lunge...again! "chicken and sex", " We need to stop this...someones going to die!" "i nearly peed myself laurghing"! "Spread it"!! Sumo wrestling! "Call me al" "I'm stuck in a hole and i cant get out...ladies".

It has been fun...so much fun but it's getting out of hand... we need some rules! for example...Thou shalt not pick your friend up...it only ends in tears and chipped teeth....ladies