What causes a seemingly normal easy-going girl to brainrot? The recipe
for disaster is simple......

Take one female. Add 10 double vitamin Vs and shake thoroughly on the dance
floor.

Then take one mobile phone and add a pay monthly contract. When female is nicely toasted place mobile phone in hand and sit her in a toilet cubicle/on the step outside chippy (e.g. Temps).

Give hair a backcombed look and smear mascara down left side of face
for presentation purposes.

Female will then proceed to brainrot any man she fancies/any male she knows! At first the brainrotting may take a simple form such as ..."RU OUT 2NITE?" Usually a response will not be forthcoming due to the late hour the brainrotting takes place. The male is usually:

A. In bed

B. In bed with his girlfriend

C. In bed with his boyfriend (It is not uncommon to brainrot the gay community)

D. Inside the chippy getting himself a dirty kebab and watching you
brainrot him on the step outside the window

The brainrotter in question will not react well to the lack of responding texts and will continue to text in an increasingly desparate manner: For example:

"Hey Mary, scored wit Brendan 2nite!" (This is a lie and is used to make the male "jealous")

"Ooops, sorry Eoin, that wasn't meant 4u! How ru?"

"Y r'nt u textin back?"

"Ru odd wit me?"

"I cant believe ur bein such an @sshole, I thought we were goin 2 try 2b
friends!!"

"D girls told me u were a B@st@rd but i wudnt listen!"

"I never want 2 cu again, I hope ur dog dies!"

"Well..."

"WELL...."

"Sorry, really drunk, I luv u so much"

"Did u get dat last msg? I sed I luv u!"

"Well..."

"WELL..."

"I HATE U, I HOPE U GET RUN OVER BY A BUS"

There may be a slight delay in the delivery time to the brainrottees phone
as the texts may be so drunken they will probably have to stop off for a bag of chips on the way.

At this stage the brainrotter is usually in tears and shouting abuse at random male passers-by. In her mind they are the source of all her problems...after all they are MEN! Fortunately the brainrotter will be too intoxicated to form a full sentence and will be duly ignored by them!

This condition can befall any female, from the very shy to the extroverted. The very shy are ususally egged on by their friends who already have boyfriends. These friends miss the thrill of single life and wish to flirt
vicariously through the brainrotter while incurring zero damage to their
reputation/ dignity.

REMEMBER THE ONE WITH THE BOYFRIEND DOES THE DAMAGE.

If you think you may be a brainrotter, there are ways to prevent this:

A. Make sure there is no credit in your phone when you head out.

B. Give your mobile to a reliable friend to mind. This is not to prevent loss, but to prevent other sneaky friends from brainrotting on your behalf for the laugh.

C. Leave your mobile at home. It is best to put it in your underwear drawer
in case you still have the urge to brainrot when you get home. With so many bras and knickers it's hard to locate something in that drawer even when sober never mind while steaming.

D. Delete the potential brainrottees number from the phone. However this will not work in cases where the number is known off by heart.

REMEMBER: NEVER DRINK AND DIAL

Mark is a legend!!! He braved the early morning waters of the something or other sea to go swimming with sharks!! up close and personel! What a swell guy! took many pics tho they didnt really come out which sux a bit but he has the memories (i was tucked up in bed fast asleep!!)

*DISCLAIMER -The opinions expressed above are those of certain individuals but not necessarily those of the author *

Alright, this is, i believe, my last holiday blog!!! Sittin in a crappy pub on Ko San Road in Bangkok trying not to cry too much into my beer! had a class last few days on Phi Phi, went snorkelling again with Robert and Laura and had a great time apart from the bit where i pannicked cos i was within reaching distance of hundreds of sea urchins (nasty little spikey buggers) and got a bit stranded but im still alive! Had a great last night with the guys although buckets of samsung (thai whiskey or rum or something) are not necessarily the best idea the night before a flight! Arrived in Bangkok on Tues night there after nearly missin the plane ... AGAIN!

Been stayin in Siam square which is a great place and we've been literally shoppin (spending every last penny and a few extras) and went to the cinema a few times - VIP of course where u wait in a special lounge before the film, get free massages, drinks etc and then the seats in the cinema are leather recliner seats with pillows and blankets and all, excellent! Also went to see Superman Returns in the IMAX where they had some of the flying scenes and that in 3D which was pretty cool! Thats about it, Bangkok is crazy but nowhere near as bad as people make it out to be - doin some last minute pressie shoppin now so a few of ya's will see the fruits of our labours on sunday!

we have like 24 hours or so of straight flying with 3 flights and im shittin it cos of all the plane crashes recently (granted they're mostly Russian but since when did that matter?!)

And thats it! Excellent time had by all, not looking forward to Uni on Mon but can't wait to see ya's all again! Roll on summer 2007! Hup!

Over and Out!!

fi x

... and apparently there's millions of comps on Ko Phi Phi with plenty of opportunity to access the net!! There goes my vision of a remote island in the middle of nowhere!!

Been here for about 5 days now, supposed to leave today to do a bit of sightseeing in mainland Thailand but decided not to bother - This place is amazing!! Its a lot more packed after last year so Mark was a bit annoyed at the start but its full of irish therefore full of craic!! been hanging out with a nurse and a radiologist and their respective boyfs, but no shop talk here!! lol!! (actually, on the subject, met a proper fully qualified plastic surgeon in Ko Phanghan - i couldnt look him in the eye cos i thought he'd go all nip/tuck on me with the lipstick!!)

Stayin in this lovely wee guesthouse owned by Miss Lee, this crazy but lovely wee woman who learns everyones names the minute they arrive and has been like a wee mummy to us! Generally just been bumming at the beach, drinking buckets of VK and eating and eating and eating!! Trekked up to viewpoint a couple of days ago - its the highest point on the island and u can sit on rocks and look down over the whole place, its really gorgeous but crazy to see the difference between what u see now and the pics of what it looked like before the Tsunami - There has been so much building work done since Mark was here last year and the place looks pretty good but huge parts of the island are still covered in rubble or there are only wee tin shacks for people to live in/run their businesses from! There was crazy rain one day earlier in the week and apparently a couple of girls left first thing the next morning cos they feared the worst ... idiots!!

Went out for the day yesterday on long-tail boat (i.e. a wee wooden boat, holds about 10 people) that took us around Phi Phi Lay island, to Maya beach where "The Beach" was filmed - it was that nice tho cos there were loads of people and speedboats and rubbish about the place. Then we went snorkelling at a couple of places and that was absolutely amazing!! I was shit scared cos i'd never done it before but u stick ur head in the water and its like watchin the discovery channel and ur just waiting for David Attenborough's commentary!! They had the most amazing coral and although i didnt manage to find Nemo, we did see Dori and apparently Mark saw the one from the fishtank who had a scar on his face!! lol! At one point the guy stopped the boat and was like - go snorkel! so we were just lookin at the water from the boat tryin to see down and mark decided to be a smart ass and jump in to see if it was deep - when he stuck his head back up the guy goes, "this is Shark Point" - i've never seen anybody move as fast in my life to get back on a boat!! It was grand though cos we went snorkelling there but they only come out at like 7am so there wasn't one in sight!! Suited me ok cos my newfound braveness only lasted about 10 mins!!

Anyway, deadly craic but we suffered so so bad last night cos we both got completely burnt on our backs - the pain was just crazy and i seriously thought mark was gonna pass out his was so bad! so avoidin the beach today -mammy Lee has been providin fresh aloe vera from her wee plant - that woman knows her stupid westerners!!

And thats about it - we're stayin put till Tues when we fly up to Bangkok for our last 4 nights before home So i'll be seein ya's all pretty soon!!

fi x