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- Big Bray Up The Toffees everton
- Me, Myself, and I
im ryan brady im 15
I Support Everton
I Live In Fletton
Thats About It
- Everton FOOTY THERS MORE BUT CBA
- The famous Welsh ship owner, Mr Lloyd, was having his house built on a large piece of land just outside Cardiff.
He said to the architect, "Don't disturb that tree over there because I had my first bit of sex under that tree!"
"How sentimental of you Mr. Lloyd, " replied the architect, "That very tree huh?"
"Yep, that's right, " continued Mr Lloyd, "And don't damage that tree on the other side because that's where her mother stood and watched me have my first bit of sex with her daughter!"
"What?" replied the architect, "Her mother just stood there and watched you have your way with her daughter?"
"Yep, " said Mr Lloyd, "she sure did!"
"But Mr Lloyd, " said the architect, "didn't she say anything?"
"Yes she sure as hell did, " smiled Mr Lloyd, "She said BAAAAAAAAAA!
- A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
- more jokes
- Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy, who has a broken leg.
Paddy says, "me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?"
"No bother, " he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds.
"Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both."
"Fook off you liar!"
"I'll prove it, " Murphy says.
So he shouts down the stairs, "both of them, Paddy?"
"Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"
- jokes more lol
- A man is in a queue at Tesco and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving.
"Excuse me do I know you?" he asks.
"Yes, I think you are the father of one of my kids" she says.
The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says, "F*cking hell, are you the bird I shagged on me stag do, whilst your mate whipped me, and your other mate stuck a brush up my arse?"
"No, " she replies, "I'm your son's English teacher!"
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