13 people each year are killed by Vending Machine's falling on them.

More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death.

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

Each card in a deck represents a king from history: Spades- King David, Hearts- Charlemagne, Clubs-Alexander the Great, Diamonds- Julius Caesar

There are about 75 million horses in the world.

Halloween was created to scare away the bad spirits and demons that could possess people. People would go out at night and cause havok in the streets.

If you attempted to count to stars in a galaxy at a rate of one every second it would take around 3,000 years to count them all.

The sloth (a mammal) moves so slowly that green algae can grow undisturbed on its fur!

Attila the Hun died in 453 on the night of his marriage to Ilidico, he is thought to have been poisoned.

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

Aztec emperor Montezuma had a nephew, Cuitlahac, whose name meant "plenty of excrement."

By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you can't sink in quicksand.

About 3000 years ago, most Egyptians died by the time they were 30.

Queen Victoria eased the discomfort of her menstrual cramps by having her doctor supply her with marijuana.

Every year more than 2500 left handed people are killed from using right handed products.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

The human heart creates enough pressure to squirt blood 30ft.

The longest recorded flight of a chicken is 13 seconds!

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

Most People use over 16,000 gallons of water in their lifetimes, or 2.5 quarts per day.

The oldest known goldfish lived to 41 years of age. Its name was Fred.

Males, on average, think about sex every 7 seconds.

The Titanic had only 20 life boats.

A peanut isn't a nut it is a legume. A peanut is a member of the pea family.

The average person has a vocabulary of 5000-6000 words.

The umbrella originated in Mesopotamia in 1400 B.C. It was used for shade. The word umbrella is derived from the Latin word for a shade, umbra.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented scissors.

The only product to be promoted by Elvis Presley was donuts. The commercial was for Southern Made Donuts and aired in 1954.

In Michigan, it is illegal to chain an alligator to a fire hydrant.

Florida is larger than England.

A Giraffe is about 6 feet tall at birth and weights about 150 pounds.

The first TV was demonstrated in 1928 and it the screen was 3 inches by 4 inches.

In Czechoslovakia, there is a church that has a chandelier made out of human bones.

The collecting of beer mats (coasters) is called tegestology.

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

Like fingerprints,everyone's tongue print is different.

23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

A snail can sleep for three years.

All Polar bears are left-handed.

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years

WHAT IS THE THIRD LETTER OF YOUR SURNAME?
A- I ATE..
B- I LICKED..
C- I SAT ON..
D- I PEED ON..
E- I HUMPED..
F- I CHASED..
G- I TACKLED..
H- I SHAT ON..
I- I STALKED..
J- I RAW AWAY WITH..
K- I FELL IN LOVE WITH..
L- I HAD A CRUSH ON..
M- I WANKED OVER..
N- I HAD AN AFFAIR WITH..
O- I PUNCHED..
P- I BIT..
Q- I SCREAMED AT..
R- I HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH..
S- I WROTE A LOVE SONG ABOUT..
T- I TIED UP..
U- I HAD 69 WITH..
V- I SUCKED..
W- I POKED..
X- I SLEPT WITH..
Y- I MADE A MOVE ON..
Z- I WENT ON A DATE WITH..

FIND THE SECOND LETTER OF YOUR MIDDLE NAME...
A- A PROSTITUTE..
B- MY TEACHER..
C- GEORGE BUSH..
D- A RAT..
E- A TRAMP..
F- A SHEEP..
G- MY PLUMBER..
H- MY COMPUTER..
I- MY FINGERS..
J- A RABBIT..
K- A LEMMING..
L- AN APPLE..
M- TONY BLAIR..
N- A VIBRATOR..
O- A DILDO..
P- A MOVIESTAR..
Q- MY EX..
R- A BANANA..
S- A CUCUMBER..
T- A TUB OF VASELINE..
U- A PORNSTAR..
V- MY BARBIEDOLL..
W- AN ACTION MAN..
X- SOME CHEESE..
Y- A RANDOM GUY..
Z- SOME RANDOM WOMAN..

NOW FIND THE COLOUR OF THE UNDERWEAR YOU ARE WEARING...
RED- IN A TAXI..
BLUE- IN A BUSH..
GREEN- IN THE BATH..
BLACK- IN MY PARENTS BEDROOM..
WHITE- WHEN I WAS FIVE..
PINK- ON LIVE TV..
BROWN- WHEN I WAS A BABY..
PURPLE- ON THE BUS..
YELLOW- IN A CANDY STORE..
GREY- UNDER A COW..
ORANGE- IN A PIGSTY..
OTHER- BEHIND YOUR SOFA..

NOW FIND YOUR HAIR COLOR...
BLONDE- BECAUSE I WAS HIGH ON COCAINE!
BLACK- BECAUSE IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME!
BROWN- BECAUSE IT TURNED ME ON!
GINGER- BECAUSE I'M MAD!
RED- BECAUSE I'M BORED OF THE USUAL


Mine = I HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH A BANNANA IN A BUSH BECAUSE IT TURNED ME ON!

A BLACK MAN WALKS INTO A CAFE EARLY ONE MORNING AND NOTICES HE\'S THE ONLY ONE THERE

AS HE SAT DOWN HE NOTICED A WHITE MAN SAT BEHIND HIM, THE WHITE MAN SAID \"COLOURED PEOPLE ARN\'T ALLOWED IN HERE\" .

THE BLACK MAN REPLIED...

\"WHEN I WAS BORN I WAS BLACK

WHEN I GREW UP I WAS BLACK

WHEN I\'M SICK I\'M BLACK

WHEN I GO IN THE SUN I\'M BLACK

WHEN I\'M COLD I\'M BLACK

AND WHEN I DIE I\'M BLACK.

BUT YOU SIR...

WHEN YOU WERE BORN YOU WERE PINK

WHEN YOUR\'E SICK YOUR\'E GREEN

WHEN YOU STAY IN THE SUN YOUR\'E RED

WHEN YOUR\'E COLD YOU TURN BLUE

AND WHEN YOU DIE YOU TURN \"PURPLE.\"

\"AND YET YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO CALL ME COLOURED\"

THE BLACK MAN TURNED BACK AROUND AND THE WHITE MAN WALKED AWAY.

****Copy and paste this in you page to help kick out racism****