1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own drive and use your mobile phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7 Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your mobile phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12 You're reading this and nodding and laughing

If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 18 movies allowed to see them?

When French people swear do they say pardon my English?

Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first?

If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?

Can a fire truck park in the fire lane?

Can it be cloudy and foggy at the same time?

"Cute as a button" Is that supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
Are marbles made of marble?

Why does the last piece of ice always stick to the bottom of the cup?

If you pay for a vacation and your plane crashes on the way there, do you get you money back? (Granted you lived)

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?

If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible?

Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?

In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?

Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?

Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?

"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"

Can mute people burp?

What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?

Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?

Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?

The truth about being a Disney cast member... enjoy!!!

Term #1: ADO
Meaning: Authorized Day 'off
Real Meaning: 'Hey, who wants to go to the beach and get drunk?'

Term #2: ER
Meaning: Early Release
Real Meaning: 'Hey, who wants to go home and get drunk?'

Term #3: CP
Meaning: College Program
Real Meaning: Closing Person, Company Pee-on, Corporate Prisoner, CONSTANTLY POOR

Term#4: Thursday
Meaning: DUH!
Real meaning: Pay Day and free admission to PI!!!

Term #5: PI
Meaning: Pleasure Island
Real Meaning: A Disney owned park taken over and ran by guests old enough to be our grandparents, who are dancing, heavily drinking, and act with no shame. A terrible sight to see someone as old as your parents and grandparents bumping and grinding next to you.

Term#6: I-4
Meaning: Interstate 4
Real Meaning: One of the most confusing express ways or highways in the world - full of tourists and idiots going 90mph

Term #7: Vista Way Apts.
Meaning: Place of temporary residence for CPs
Real Meaning: One of the top five places to hook up according to Penthouse aka Vista Lay

Term #8: The Epcot Sphere
Meaning: Where Spaceship Earth is located
Real Meaning: The big golf ball

Term#9: WDWCP
Meaning: Walt Disney World College Program
Real Meaning: Possibly the best experience any of us have ever had. Where we meet the most interesting people and made the best friends of our lives

Term#10: Vista Way's Hot Tubs
Meaning: A place for couples to rendezvous
Real Meaning: Don't go in the water!!!

Term#11: Guest Recovery
Meaning: A great way to exceed guest expectation
Real Meaning: A great way to cover your ass by giving a little bit of the company away!!!

Term#12: Soon (as in Test Track is opening soon)
Meaning: Disney's projected completion dates as to avoid further guest dissatisfaction
Real Meaning: We have no clue when this will be done. It's broken and we don't know how to fix it!

Term#13: DOS
Meaning: Deviation of Shift
Real Meaning: 'Ya mean, I get to go home now, but I get paid until my official clock-out time??? Lets get drunk!!!'

Term# 14: Termination
Meaning: Fired
Real Meaning: 'Hell, I don't know what I did? All I know is I have to turn my Vista Way key in by 9am tomorrow morning'

Term#15: DAK
Meaning: Disney's Animal Kingdom
Real Meaning: The hottest place on earth!!! The place where they stick all the new CP's cause normal people won't work there.

Term#16: Costumes
Meaning: Disney Uniform
Real Meaning: A big, mean joke played on cast members by the Disney Corporation. Whoever imagineered these things were either colourblind or high when they designed them. Imagine the most hideous thing you could possibly wear in public and multiplied by polyester and be forced to SMILE the WHOLE time!!!!

Term#17: The Vista Way Shuttles (Dynamic)
Meaning: Complementary transportation between Vista Way and the parks
Real Meaning: BRING A CAR!!!!

Term#18: Living Experience
Meaning: You may end up with roomies all the way from Utah to Norway
Real Meaning: The best friends you will ever have and/or the bastards who you can't wait until they leave for work or are terminated.

Term# 19: Call In Sick
Meaning: I can't come to work, I'm sick
Real Meaning: I can't come to work; I'm hungover from last night!!!!

Term#20: Call In: Transportation
Meaning: My car is broken down, I can't come to work
Real Meaning: I'm at the beach and won't be able to make it to work on time!!!

Term #21: Call In: Personal (aka: Seven digit ADO)
Meaning: Something personal is keeping me from work
Real Meaning: It's a beautiful day; I'm goin to the beach!!!!

Term#22: Promotion
Meaning: Your work has been outstanding and we trust you.
Real Meaning: You should drop-out of college and just work for Disney the rest of your life.

Term#23: Seasonal
Meaning: You may return to work anytime during the next year
Real Meaning: Even though you're not working anymore, you still get free admissions t