Dildo! Dildo! Big blue rubber dicks for everyone the people demand rubber dicks!

Peter: Oh My God Brian I Have A Message In Alphabeties, It Says 'Oooooo' Brian:Peter....Those Are Cherios!

Leh-HOO-seh-HER!

Hey Ross. If homo sapiens were in fact 'homo sapiens', could that be why they're extinct?
[Ross] Joey, homo sapiens are people!
[Joey] Hey, I'm not judging.

MA THE MEATLOAF!!!!! FUCK

It's time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-fucker. 'Cause I'm gonna hang out with my wang out, and rock out with my cock out

Are you an official here?....Cause you've officially given me a boner!!!!

Sex Panther mens cologne. Works 60% of the time, all the time.

No one makes me bleed my own blood

I am the master of the C.L.I.T. Remember this fucking face. Whenever you see C.L.I.T., you'll see this fucking face. I make that shit work. It does whatever the fuck I tell it to. No one rules the C.L.I.T like me. Not this little fuck, none of you little fucks out there. I AM THE C.L.I.T. COMMANDER! Remember that, commander of all C.L.I.T.s! When it comes down to business, this is what I do. I pinch it like this. OOH you little fuck. Then I rub my nose with it.

Coach, Not only will I do it for you, I... I... I... Yes I'll do it for you.

'What are these?' 'I dunno' 'what do you mean you don't know?''I..I don't know how they got there.' 'Well I think you do know' 'Err uh Derek Was in here earlier he was err makin' the beds, he probably put them, err I was in the John'

I just can't do it captain, I DON'T HAVE THE POWER!!!!

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

That's sooo namby pamby

Oh my god, you look so good, I like totally wanna rip of your skin and like wear it to my next birthday party, it's comin' up...

No exaggeration, I could not love a human baby more then I love this brush.

Fuckin cockroach

Smelly cat

Fine, Evan. Here it goes. When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem, and it's not even that big of a deal. Something like 8% of kids do it, but whatever. It's--for some reason, I would just kinda sit around all day...and draw pictures of dicks.

The Room Is Spinning , From All The Gayness

I just bamboozled Chandler!

I'm afraid the TV Guide comes to Chanandeler Bong

She's Going To Be A Scientist

Jules: Describe what Marcellus Wallace looks like! Brett: What, I-? Jules:
[pointing his gun] Say what again. SAY WHAT AGAIN. I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker. Say what one more goddamn time. Brett: He's b-b-black... Jules: Go on. Brett: He's bald... Jules: Does he look like a bitch? Brett: What?
[Jules shoots Brett in shoulder] Jules: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH? Brett: No! Jules: Then why you try to fuck him like a bitch, Brett? Brett: I didn't. Jules: Yes you did. Yes you did, Brett. You tried to fuck him

I'm gonna make this pencil... disappear

Why So Serious?

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is The Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee

My name might as well be Fatty McButterpants.

I'm 75 years old, and I still wake up with the little guy saluting.

You see, it's not about me. It's really about what's best for the company, the team. There is no 'I' in IPS.

Arthur: ' I have two words, I am not moving!' Carrie: 'That's four words' Arthur: 'Ok then, I have another four words, screw you!

I don't know how that puts naked women on my screen, but God bless you people.

Which of your friends do you want to know we're cowards?

What a beautiful chocolate man!

Omg Chandler you never guess what I just found? MY IDENTICAL HAND TWIN!

You can't have s-e-x in front of a b-a-b-i-e

[Phoebe] You can drink a gallon of milk in ten seconds
[Joey] Now that I CAN do.