• Baba chased you around the house with Kamilica to drink and Vicks to shove up your nose when you had a cold.
• Your 15 year old sister can out-drink any Amerikanac
• You get a C in history, but can recite every Serbian king, in order,from Czar Dusan
• At your wedding you know only about a third of the people there.
• At your wedding you have a minimum of 350 guests.
• At your wedding the first song is always "danas majka zeni svoga sina".
• You have at least 3 slave to attend to on the same day.
• All slave have the same cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje".
• All weddings have the same cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje".
• All christenings have the cuisine "supa, sarma, Pecenje".
• You don't actually attend University, just hang out there and play "tablic".
• There is a 120-gallon barrel of wine and Cabbage in your garage.
• There is more alcohol in your liquor cabinet than at the local bar.
• Your dad wears black socks to work everyday.
• Your Baba and Deda live in your basement.
• Your parents never go on vacations because they are afraid to leave you home alone for a week.
• You have all brand new appliances in your kitchen but your mom cooks in the basement with the stove from your old house.
• Your baba swears more than you do.
• You are prohibited from speaking English in you own home.
• Before school every morning your parents had to look after the sheep, milk the cows, gather all hay, feed the animals etc..
• You have the biggest sandwiches at school, always consisting of "prsut Or salami".
• Your parents can't pronounce "Thursday".
• There's at least one relative that your family refuses to talk to.
• If you are female, you first name ends in "A"
• You live with your mom and dad until you are married
• You have a pair of wool slippers that your baba knit
• On your birthday, your parents make you take a picture cutting the cake with a huge knife.
• At your birthdays everyone is singing "Happy brzday tu u"
• As a kid you are paid to steal the bride's shoe at a wedding
• When your baba will not accept the fact that you're not hungry
• Your parents pronounce three, thirteen and thirty three as tri, tirteen, and tirty tree.
• You are at a zabava and guy's try to pick you up with "Hey baby, what's your slava??"
• Whenever you kiss somebody, you kiss them 3 times.

• When you are told that you'll grow a tail if you drink coffee at a young age
• You are freaked out by 'Babaroga'
• No one has ever pronounced your last name right, and every kid on the block has a nickname for it"
• When no matter what age you are or how much smarter than your parents you are, they will never listen to what you say 'cause you're still their little " beba "
• Your Dad tells you "kad sam ja bio u tvoje godine...."
• You know you're a Serb when you refer to John Travolta as "Jontra"
• You know you're a Serb when you sing "DJURDJEVDAN" at all serbian parties
• You know you're a Serb when your parents yell "kakva je ta skola" when you cannot complete their tax returns while you're in the third grade.
• You are the only race that suffers from PROMAJA
• When TATA goes to any professional and says STA ON ZNA, NEMA POJMA
• Your parents spend hours talking about the best djubre for the vegetables
• When your tata is looking at an old photo album and sees himself young and says "jao sto sam bio frajer" and ur mom tells him "molim te nemoj da s...š!"
• Your tata yells at you "budala, neznas nista!" when you tell him that the crowd isn't yelling "DIVAC", they are actually yelling "Defense" during the Sacramento Kings game regardless if they are home or away
• When she is mad your mama tells you that she will send you back to where you came from e.g ( idi u picku materinu )

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