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Danhoffserswtitsen
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Female, 25,
20
- from Lesbian City
- Profile views: 2,188
- Member since: April 2006
- Last active: 1/31/10
- www.bebo.com/TheBabyJesus
- Tagline
- The female ironic nazi lesbian
- Me, Myself, and I
- WORDS OF WISDOM FROM ME:
When you blow your own balloon its ok, but when your balloon blows you, its special.
Butt monkeys smell like poo.
Im running and noone is stopping me or shooting me in the legs
It is only ok to shit out your intestines if you can fit them back in with a spoon
- So....
- IM A TRAIN CHOO CHOO
- Favourite Songs
- In order of awesomeness:
1. Alkaline Trio - While you're waiting
2. Alkaline Trio - If you had a bad time
3. Rise Against - Everchanging
4. AFI - God called in sick today
5. Jimmy eat world - Bleed America
6. Funeral for a friend - Escape artists never die
7. Alkaline Trio - Warbrain
8. The Used - Buried myself alive
9. Bright Eyes - Easy/Lucky/Free
10. Underoath - Alone in december - Things I would like to do in the future
- Have hot sex with Stephen while doing the Laytown chant. Feed a small child to my evil cat. Play real life "kick the baby". Use Lube regularly.
- Scared Of
- People called frank, small children, fat small children, fatter small children, catholic fanatics, leprosy.
- Things I hate
- People who put "xX~*" etc. in their names... People who spell the word sexy with a c instead of a y, i mean come on how much effort is it to just type the fucking letter y instead of the c and that way not make yourself look like a complete plank. Ok sure the c is right next to the x but your hands arent that small that you cant reach over and hit that y key, if your hands are big enough to analy probe yourself with a piece of toast to orgasm then your hands are big enough to reach the letter y and i know what you scumbags do in your spare time you dirty fucks. I also hate small children and fat scumbags.
- I R
- TeH UbR N4z1-LeZbO!!!11
close Blog
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AN EROTIC ROLLERCOASTER OF A SEX STORY
"An erotic rollercoaster" Says Kevin Griffin
"An erection forcing peice of orgasmic literature" Says Jamie Brady
"A must read for any sex story fan" Says the Sunday Times
"So so so so hot" Says Becca Hunter
"What the hell is going on?" Says Rory
"Better than any porn film" Says The Sun
"If I could I would those words right now" Says The Mirror
"Did all those people really say that?" Says The Daily Telegraph
"No I just made it up" Says Danny
Now that I have grabbed your attention and my monkey assistant has your balls we are ready to proceed. Sitting in french class we got bored because she was talking in french and we didnt understand so we decided to write a 3 word story, where 3 of us (Me, Kev, Jamie) said 3 words each, I dont remember who started so fuck off.
SO IT BEGINS...
The sexy giraffe wanted big long willys which had loads of hair protruding from it. Danny Kevin and Jamie supplied the giraffe with hot huge anal pleasure with strap-ons because Jamie's penis was busy with Dan's dad's ass. Unsatisifed Jamie put it into the local tavern where a big sweaty man had taken hold of a filthy smelly dirty ass which inside had several squirrels who nibbled their nuts playfully with their small little devices. Squirrels like to nibble hard-ons they buy these from a local sack which is located on ebay, it comes non-stop with no interruptions especially not from its droopy saggy bollox which fills their ass with lumpy sweet come which tastes like nothing you ever licked off a scabby infected willy or from lollipops. It is nice when hamsters do the things they shit from their sexy beautiful ears and into Jamie's waiting hands where held frimly are several scandinavian porn borrowed from Kevin. As the boys screw each other happily with shiny bell ends which shone like Kevin's wrinkled tiny scrotum. Jamies masturbates over Kevin and Danny's pet seagull who pecks at Jamie's big huge ears where Danny and Kevin lie happily smoking a bone. The bones they smoke while Yoda rides Anakin's lightsaber3 Comments 279 weeks
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Genius
bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.
j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.
bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.
j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.
bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.
j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.
j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fucking charge your ass.
j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.
bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
j_gurli3: thats it.
bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.
bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't fuck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the fuck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fuck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
bloodninja: Wanna cyber?
Katie_007: Sure, you into vegetables?
bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?
Katie_007: Yeah, something like that.
bloodninja: Nothing turns me on more, check this out:
bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
Katie_007: is that it?
bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.
bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katie_007: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... sexily.
bloodninja:4 Comments 297 weeks
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Now you too can talk to god!
0 Comments 324 weeks
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Brian In A Skirt
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I have way too much time on my hands...
(10)
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I meet the most interesting people
(1)
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LOOK WHAT I DID
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MAI NU TEASHURTZ
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My Album
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Peado hunt
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STOLEN MUAHAHA
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close Comments
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4/23/10
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Leanne1/27/10i hate you.
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1/16/10
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Leanne1/16/10hey look at me on bebo! look how gay i'm being! anyway, thanks 4 acceptin my friend request;P lovely, wow. xxxx
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Paula Loves Daisies9/27/09that is truly amazing! how did nobody realise that sooner? i'm ashamed of all of us!
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Paula Loves Daisies9/6/09firstly, you make no money from taiwanese sex slaves, that's where you keep spending your wages!.. sicko! and your shop is crap! it's even worse now you work there! big ole' smelly photograph place where you only develop animal porn!.. so, there!
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9/4/09
Harry Kwan
how dare u b racist 2 the 1 2 3 champion!!!<<<<< oh yea dats rite am still d man!!
bo ya motherfuker!
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Paula Loves Daisies9/2/09i can't believe someone gave YOU a job! i know that shop - i got photo's developed there before and they were crap!.. i blame you for that! and it's not because of me that it rained!.. it's been shite ALL the time.. if anything, it rained less! so, feck you.. you're nothing but a two-bit hooker.. get your genital warts sorted out!
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8/31/09
Paula Loves Daisies
i can't believe you didn't come out of your smelly work and say "hello" properly! fecker! where do you work? oh and i don't belong to the 'mere common folk'! i'm better! you friggin' love me.. i'm up there with the big'uns! i'm going to dublin tomorrow! if i see you, i'm gonna fuck you up!.. watch your ass!
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Harry Kwan5/18/09
danny i miss u
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Paula Loves Daisies4/3/09danny! i saw ken the other day, he came over and spoke to me! his nipples didn't make an appearance as he was wearing a jacket though - poo!
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Stephen O'Reilly12/8/08old ppl fighting....................nothin g is funnier!!!!!!!
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Conor Ó Loinsigh11/19/08
The Below comment was left by a missing person!!!! Anyway now i'm talking to another one. you coming out on saturday???? Sorry Your coming out i'm not asking!!!!!!
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Kiev Griffin10/17/08
Also - I thought you might like this...
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Kiev Griffin10/17/08
Danny. Where's my handjob?
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Paula Loves Daisies10/17/08listen vagina face!.. i'm no nipple racist!! get your facts straight.. but i suppose straight things are a foreign concept to you, seeing as you the biggest gay i know!!.. and.. yes i'm still an art whore!.. what are YOU doing?.. besides giving old men hand-jobs!..
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Paula Loves Daisies10/10/08danny!.. i was at a gig the other night, one of the guys playing had really erect nipples, you could've hung a coat of them!.. i saw those nipples, thought of ken.. and thus, thought of you!
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Kiev Griffin7/22/08
I Wanna fuck a dog in the ass.
Bebo 
harhar.x
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This is you, as woman, which is what you are!!! See, it has your "MyNameIsDanny" name..... Damn I'm funny....
Paula Loves Daisies 0 Repliesthis is a picture of terribly confused danny with his head in a microwave... and yes the press is smiling .this however is a result of bad drawing skills and coincidence!
Roisin O Reilly 0 Replies