Who sits next to you in English?
Gina Sheehan (She's teeny, tiny!)

Who was your last text from and when?
Orla, couple of minutes ago. (blah blah blah)

Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you?
Attempting to wail the Numa Numa song in UL

What do you think of the last song you listened to?
Crawling - Linkin Park

Do you miss anyone?
Yes.

Are you starting to realize anything?
I'm sick of confrontation.

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
2 til 11...8 or so hours.

Do you believe in the saying what comes around goes around?
No. It's never happened to me.

What are you thinking about right now?
I like Grapes.

Do you have a really bad temper?
Pretty awful.

Do you care if people hate you?
Yeah I suppose. Depends who and why.

Who was last to see you cry?
Andy knows

If you were given a paper and a pen, what would be the first thing you'd draw?
Starbug

How was last night?
Meh, twas ok.

Do you think someone is thinking about you now?
Yeah, if they're reading this blog they kind of have no choice.

Do you like the colour green?
Do I ever! First thing I think about when I wake up in the morning.

Name the first person you can think of that you know that has a tattoo?
Orla. (HA!)

Have you ever seen the last person you texted naked?
"My eyes! They burn!"

Will tomorrow be better than today?
Hmmm. I'm going gyming and I must study at some point so ...no.

Do you hate being alone?
Nope. Jamie's cool.

Do you know anyone starting with the letter J?
Joe!

What is the last thing you used your own money for?
Food I think. Survival.

Is a best friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/ex pissing you off?
All of the above. Frequently.

Do you believe people deserve second chances?
Yeah, why not. We've given Fianna Fáil three shots at fucking us over and guess what? Third time lucky.

What are you listening to currently?
The sound of myself chewing a grape, the clicketty click of the keyboard and some birds twittering at eachother (and yes I do mean the global networking site)

What did you do yesterday?
I woke up late, entertained a guest in my dressing gown and furry slippers.

What were you doing an hour ago?
Eating, reading and talking on the phone.

If you could seek revenge on someone would you?
Depends what they'd done to me...

How long have you liked the person you like?
That's hard to guage.

Does any part of your body hurt right now?
Yeah, slight bruise on my head, and my back.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Orla

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn't?
Yeah, after I found out Jon Voight voted Republican I just can't see him the same ever again...

What happened at 9:00 am today?
I was very much asleep.

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted?
Ew.

When was the last time you were sick?
When was the last time I forced a pensioner to molest a baby goat?

Are you one of those people who are always cold?
I have warm hands.

Do you have any summer plans yet?
God, uh. Waiting for Godot, London! I need a job. Maybe grape-picking in France (notice a theme here?) maybe. Gigs. Goth Milks 3 and 4 (fingers crossed) Star Trek! Woot.

Do you tend to waste a lot of money?
If I had any. I physically can't spend that much cash.

Do you think this year will be better than the last?
No. Haven't you been watching the news? WE'RE ALL DOOMED. CLUSTERFUCK.

Do you look more like your mom or your dad?
I look like both of them, crazy as that may sound.

Where will you be 2 hours from now?
Cleaning the estate with an eye to receiving an Easter egg at teh end of it.

Are there any stressful situations in your life?
Many.

Favourite time of the year?
Winter.

Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes.

Could you ever forgive a cheater?
No... I am hard-wired for justice.

What would happen if you had a kid with the next person you kiss?
I would say "that's not how I tho

I cross the void beyond the mind
The empty space that circles time
I see where others stumble blind
To seek a truth they never find
Eternal wisdom of my kind
I am the Doctor.

Through cosmic waste the Tardis flies
To taste the secret source of life
A presence science can't deny
Exists within.. outside... behind...
The latitude of the human mind
I am the Doctor.

My voyage dissects the course of time
Who knows, you say
But are you right
Who such indeed to find the light
That glows so darkly in the night
Toward that point I guide my flight.

As fingers move to end mankind
Metallic teeth begin to grind
With sword of truth I turn to fight
The satanic powers of the night
Is your faith before your mind
Know me!
Am I the Doctor?

Jamie’s Play of Awesome.
Featuring Cow.


Balloons and ice cram and happy things
Righty.
Ok.
This is how it began.
Back in the day.
Fridya.
Ypou don’t have to put a something afte something I’m tird and I’vbe smoked all my cigarettes.
Like a gay man might.


GAY MEN DON’T SMOKE…Til I’m done with them.
Lies.
Orla?
No.
Your name is Eddie
It’s not really, it’s Hannah.
Like a gay man’s might be.
This is a cow. He isn’t a very happy cow. He wasn’t born.
He’s a dead foetus cow.
No, he wasn’t. I wasn’t. I am the cow. I am a pathological liar, due to the all the bad bad things that happened to me during my life. I was born, like, the regular was. Out of a vag and all that shit.

I was born, a long long time ago in the bovanic region of rhode island many years ago, when the men wore funny hats and everyone listened to shit music like frank Sinatra. My mother worked in the subway selling tickets to Mexicans like that guy on the English course’s dad. She fell into a deep relationship with the Regular. He’s a very pretty man. I don’t know anyone called ben.. Neither does the Regular. He only makes friends with people called Nigel and sometimes Penny. But he only met one Penny. She was a secretary from Scone with right big tits.

Anyway. I don’t like gin, it’s not that nice. When I go out on the tiles, I like to drink beer. Sometimes, in the nice places they put little bits of lemon into the tops of the bottles. I like that. It makes me feel like they care. But nobody went out in this part of the story, I’m getting ahead of myself. My mother was.
And when I was three she ceased to.
It was a bit shit.

My dada, Clive Klive Clive-again got beaten up a lot.
Because his name was shit.
I’m not going to tell you what my name is!*
It’s a secret and I’m only going to tell you at the very end of this story (because it is a story, it’s not really a play is it..?)
*Example of compulsive lying.
Now that those of you who’ve skipped to the end now know my name is Vivian, I see no point in continuing the charade.
That’s not my name.*
Cuntcuntcuntcunt no

When I was five.
Nothing really happened.












My life only started to get exciting when I was forty-six. I met the Regular.
The regular married my mother, you retard.
Is there a Bovine District in Rhode Island?
So, right ok. I’d already met the Regular when I was a young’un.
But when I was 46 he came stumbling drunkenly back into my squalid little life.
Which was extremely odd, considering he didn’t drink. He was a very pretty man and therefore a very upstanding citizen who had led a very nice life since my mother died in that place which I never really specified. He adopted lots of kid.
It was at this point I became aware of the existence of the Guest Star,,,he was a friend of the Regular.,..but more nervous somehow.
He used to bite fingernails…not his you understand.

Meanwhile, on the planet Krypton, Superman was born…

Unlike other cow kidz I was a very cultured bovanic character.. Reading such literature as ‘The great vag’ and ‘Beauty and the cunt’

My local schoolteacher gave me his copies of his copies. He photocopied them in the local library. I liked the books a lot, as I didn’t have much of a chance to get out in the world and find things for myself. When I was a young.. um, calf?
Default.

Sing.
Happy. Sometimes. Not so much

Oh bollocks, I’m dead.