A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. An American tourist complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.


"Not very long," answered the Mexican.


"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.


The Mexican explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"


"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."



The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Mexican.



"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."



"How long would that take?" asked the Mexican.



"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.



"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the Mexican.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."



And the moral of this story is: ......... Know where you're going in life... you may already be there.

1. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

2.Name your dog "Dog."

3. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

4. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

5. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

6. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

7. Tell 1-800 operators they sound gay and ask for a date.

8. Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

9. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

10 Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

11. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

12. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

13. Repeat everything someone says as a question.

14. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?", "What?", "Never mind, it's gone now."

15. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

16. At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

17. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling as they read.

18. Ask people what gender they are.

19. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

20. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

21. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.

22. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

23. Sing along at the opera.

24. Mow your lawn with scissors.

25. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

26. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

27. Make appointments for the 31st of September.

28. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

29. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

30. Practice making fax and modem noises.

31. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

32. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

33. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

34. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

35. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

36. Honk and wave to strangers.

37. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.

38. type only in lowercase.

39. dont use any punctuation either

40. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

41. Tell people their accent isn't fooling anyone.

42. Drum on every available surface.

43. Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.

44. Begin all your sentences with "Ohh la la!"

45. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

46. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

47. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

48. Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.

49. Leave your indicator on for fifty miles.

50. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

51. "Forget" the punch line to a really long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

52. Never make eye contact.

53. Never break eye contact.

54. When in a conversation, look out the window, then say "Wait, start over. I wasn't paying attention."

55. Say to people, "Did you wear deodorant today?"

56. Place your shoes on the table.

57. Switch your neighbor's lawn furniture with someone else's.

58. Call into work and tell them you have something better to do today.

59. Buy goldfish and ask the clerk if they come with chips.

60. Sample every flavor of ice cream and tell the clerk what you don't like about each one.

61. Pick your ear wax and ask if you could use their sleeve to wipe it off.

62. Insist completely ridiculous things are true.

64. Speak in a strong Welsh accent.

65. Wear odd shoes.

66. Learn "Ice Ice Baby" by heart and recite it endlessly.

67. Disagree strongly with everything anybody says.

68. Throw stones

Who are you dating?
We dont date we dominate*(american thing)

Have you ever let a boy put you through hell and back?
no ran out of credit half way through

Do you find the opposite sex confusing?
no, sexist pigs!

Do you get distracted easily?
sharon got distracted by the last question, leanne is watching the ads and becca...................oh shiny...........

Has anyone disappointed you recently?
yes *cough cough*

Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
Dara O'Briain

What are you supposed to be doing right now?
Nothing, coz were students!

Do you think you'll have the same boyfriend/girlfriend a year from now?
not if we keep on dominating* the way we're going(seriously its an American thing)

If you ended up, in jail, who would be most likely to end up in there with you?
jack the ripper, they're bound to catch im eventually

Were you single on Valentine's Day?
Does dominating* count?

Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
The optitian(he saw € signs when he saw becca coming!)

What is something you disliked about your day?
nothing!!

What's the last thing you said out loud?
somebody say something funny

How's your hair looking?
fantastic!

Do you think the drinking age should be lowered to 16?
wouldnt make any difference. Leanne: if the sex age goes down to 11 then fair enough.

Happier on your own or with someone?
Sharon: Coming onto people. Leanne: depends if I'm meditating or not. Becca: meh

Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?
Becca *burps* yup

Have you ever broken someone's heart?
nope Sharon: he deserved it. I miss my hoodie...

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
All: Nope. We're that cool. Leanne: fuck lungs

Have you ever tried your hardest, then got disappointed later on?
yeah, its called the LC

Suppose you find out something bad happens to someone you dislike, what do you do?
bout time

What was the last term of endearment you used [babe, hun, dear, etc] and to who?
Just did it to sharon for the sake of answering this

Who was last to smack your butt?
probably Sharon

What were you doing the last time you were in the bathroom?
together? This morning in the shower(saves hot water(which comes out of the cold tap!!))

This time last year, do you remember who you liked?
everyone

Do you have a hard time trusting people?
we havnt locked our front door in a while... Come visit!

In the summer do you see yourself in a relationship?
If we havnt dominated everyone by then

Without naming any names, say something to somebody:
well hes not all that...

Can you recall the last time you liked someone?
yes

Last time you felt bad about someone/something?
Becca: Last night when THEY guilt tripped me into washing up

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
Yeah, the lads are hungry

You can receive a £500 gift card to one place; which place is it?
Each? Subway/sex shop/pennys

If you can donate blood, but don't, what is your reason?
aids/johavas witness/too little

Do you experience hyperactivity after drinking an energy drink?
no

Do you have a friend you can tell stuff to and you're sure they wont tell?
*look at eachother* no!

Is there anyone that hates you right now? Does that bother you?
all the people in the cinema last night

Who did you last pinky promise with?
Leanne: who was my best friend when I was 6..?

Do you believe in perfect?
We live in corrib village...wat do you think?

What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning?
Yay!! Galway!


Do you believe in karma?
Sharon: yes, but I dont like it when people abuse it. Becca: nope. Leanne: its about as real as fat free apple pie!

* we'll ask the yanks later