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A guy is nearing the end of his senior year in high school.
he still has to share a room with his younger brother who is only 9
One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun.
have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is already
on the lower bunk, so he and his girlfriend climb up to the top bunk.
might expect things start to heat up.
The guy remembers that his little brother is sleeping below so he tells
girlfriend to whisper "lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if
wants a new position.
PULL IT OUT!!!
PULL IT OUT NOW!!!
I can't get pregnant!
Then the little brother shouts up, "Hey, would you guys stop making
sandwiches up there! You're getting mayonnaise all over my
0 Comments 360 weeks
20things to do if u get bored in Tesco's
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples' trolley
they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in houseware to go off at 5 minute
3 . Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the toilet.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code
at Pharmacy" ... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on hold.
6. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the houseware and tell other shoppers you'll only
invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When an assistant asks if they can help you, begin to cry and
ask,"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you
pick your nose.
10. While handling knives in the kitchen ware department ask the clerk
he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme
from Mission Impossible.
12. In the car accessory department practice your Madonna look using
different size funnels.
13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through shout,
ME! PICK ME!!!!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the foetal
position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and yell really loudly...."Hey! We're out of
toilet paper in here!"
16. Go into the Butchers Department and start rubbing steaks up and
on your face saying " oooohhhh that feels so good"
17. Go to the fruit and veg department - get two bananas' and put one in
each pocket - walk around the store calling everyone pilgrim in your
John Wayne accent sporadically whipping them out of you pocket - making
noises and then slumping to the floor as if you've just taken several
bullets to the chest.
18. Grab some ladies knickers in the lingerie section and rub then up
down on your face whilst moaning " ooohhhh Mother, oooohhhh Mother I
19. Bring your own DVD, popcorn, sweets, drinks and nibbles and pick a
nice spot on the floor in the electrical section. Sit cross legged and
enjoy the film. ( porn film and kleenex are optional)
20. Take boneless chicken breasts out of the packet and throw them sky
whilst screaming" fly my little ones, fly and be free"
0 Comments 360 weeks