park , park
wherever you may be
you eat dogs in your home country
could be worse,
could be scouse,
eating rats
in a council house!!

ander-son-son-son
he's a better kleberson
ander-son-son-son
he's our midfield magican
to the left, to the right
to samba beat all night
he's class with a brass
and heee shits on Fabegas!!

he plays on the left
he plays on the right
that boy ronaldo,
makes england look shite

Who's that man from Argentina,
Who's that man we all adore,
He plays with Rooney, plays with Wes,
He's that superstar, Tevez,
And forever at United he will score...

U-N-I-T-E-D, United are the team for me,
With a nick knack paddy whack,
give a dog a bone,
go on city fuck off home??

park , park
wherever you may be
you eat dogs in your home country
could be worse,
could be scouse,
eating rats
in a council house!!

ander-son-son-son
he's a better kleberson
ander-son-son-son
he's our midfield magican
to the left, to the right
to samba beat all night
he's class with a brass
and heee shits on Fabegas!!

he plays on the left
he plays on the right
that boy ronaldo,
makes england look shite

Who's that man from Argentina,
Who's that man we all adore,
He plays with Rooney, plays with Wes,
He's that superstar, Tevez,
And forever at United he will score...

U-N-I-T-E-D, United are the team for me,
With a nick knack paddy whack,
give a dog a bone,
go on city fuck off home??

And it's Man United,
Man United FC,
We're by far the greatest team,
The world has ever seen...

Follow Follow Follow,
Coz' United are going to Moscow,
There'll be thousands of reds,
They'll be pissed out of their heads,
Cause united are going to Moscow

Viva John Terry,
Viva John Terry
Thought his time had come,
Fucking Chelsea scum
Viva John Terry...
or
Viva John Terry,
Viva John Terry,
Slipping On The Grass,
Falling His Arse,
Viva John Terry.

We're on the march with Fergie's army,
We're all going to Wembley,
And we'll really shake em up when we win the FA Cup,
Cos United are the greatest football team...

Who put the ball in the Germans net?
Who put the ball in the Germans net?
Who put the ball in the Germans net?
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer!

You are a scouser, an ugly scouser,
You're only happy on giro day,
Your mum's out theiving,
Your dad's drug dealing,
But please don't take my hubcaps away...

Adebayor,
Adebayor,
Yer dad washes elephants,
Yer mothers a whore.

The famous carlos tevez signed a contract with west ham,
But he left the hammers crying coz it was a fucking sham,
So fergie rung him up and said do you wanna be a red,
And this is what he said:
Glory glory man united,
Glory glory man united,
Glory glory man united,
As the reds go marching on on on...

You put your contract in,
Your contract out,
In, Out, In, Out, Shake it all about,
You do the Steven Gerrard and you fuck your badge,
And that's what its all about...

Oh the KGB are knocking on his door,
Cos he stole all his money from the poor,
When the Kremlin get his number,
Chelsea's goin under,
Oh the KGB are knockin at his door...

Forever and Ever,
We'll follow the boys,
Of Manchester United,
The Busby Babes,
For we made a promise,
To defend our faith,
In Manchester United,
The Busby Babes...

BACKS (15): Girvan Dempsey*, Rob Kearney*, Luke Fitzgerald*, Isa Nacewa (Auckland Blues), Shane Horgan*, Gary Brown*, Brian O’Driscoll*, Gordon D’Arcy*, Eoin O’Malley*, Fergus McFadden*, Jonathan Sexton*, Felipe Contepomi, Simon Keogh (Harlequins)*, Chris Whitaker, Chris Keane*

FORWARDS (19): Stan Wright, Stephen Knoop*, Ronan McCormack*, CJ Van Der Linde (Cheetahs / South Africa), Cian Healy*, Bernard Jackman*, John Fogarty (Connacht)*, Brian Blaney*, Malcolm O’Kelly*, Leo Cullen*, Devin Toner*, Trevor Hogan*, Cameron Jowitt*, Stephen Keogh*, Kevin McLaughlin*, Jamie Heaslip*, Sean O’Brien*, Shane Jennings*, Rocky Elsom (NSW Waratahs / Australia)

*Denotes Irish qualified

GIRLS NIGHT OUT

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

---------------------------------------
---------------------------------------
POOR GUY

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

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THE BRIDE TELLS HER HUSBAND

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,
OKAY!

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-------------------------------------
BIRTHDAY PRESENT

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.

They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"

"She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."

A stripper then comes