culchies.......................... .....
60 things that culchies like...........
1 A nice bit of ham
2 Buttered biscuits
3 Diggin Houles
4 Saying its too cold to snow
5 Pretending to know about The Ra
6 Tayto Cheese & Onion
7 Pretending they're in The Ra
8 A stretch in the evenings
9 Lucozade10 Accordians
11 Pretending to like Holy Week
12 A dinner dance
13 Gettin clattered in muck
14 Shania Twain
15 Heifers
16 Spittin in their hands before doing anything manual
17 Steel toe caps.
18 A big bowl of carrots & parsnips
19 Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car at GAA
20 Saying someones 'Opened a Book' on something
21 The smell of fresh dung
22 Slice-Your-Own Loaf
23 Work Clothes
24 A bottle of mineral
25 Fightin'
26 Puttin on a ganzee to stop them from bein foundered
27 'The' Hurling/Fitball
28 Being overweight
29 Wemin wha resemble heifers
30 Saying "Aaah" after taking their first sup of tae
31 Drink driving
32 Red diesel
33 The Fear of Change
34 A nice bit of Barnbrac
35 Lying
36 Building walls
37 Being starved with the cold rather than with a lack of food
38 Pretending to like mass
39 Talking about shite like Flax and the Corncrake
40 A good blackthorn walkin stick
41 Shouting 'Yeeeeeoooo' when something good happens
42 Mohammed Ali
43 Machinery
44 Strange uppy-downy walks
45 A good fuckin read of Irelands Own
46 Gelling their 1cm fringe tight to their forehead
47 Scandal, as long as it's about other people
48 Turf, because Sentirl heatin's for wemin
49 Soda farls
50 Sponge 'n Custirt
51 Newmerica', and anything to do with it
52 Givin the dog the wildest baytins
53 Aetin' a big feed of spuds
54 The Ra
55 Winning a leg of lamb in a raffle
56 Wrecking the house whilst steaming
57 Club Orange
58 Rubbing their hands together before tucking into their dinner
59 The Foot & Mouth
60 TK Red Lemonad

7 days ago

The strange things people do.....

1. People who point at their wrist while askin the time....I know wer my watch is pal, wer the fuck is yours?? Do i point at my crotch wen i ask wer d toilet is?

2. People who are willling to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually!

3. When people say "oh you jus wanna have ur cake and eat it too". Fucking right! Wat good is cake if u cant eat it?

4.When people say "its always the last place u look". of course it is. why the fuck wud u keep lookin after uv found it? Do people do this? who and wer r dey?

5. When people say while watchin a film "did u see dat?". No tosser, i paid 7 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fuckin floor!

6. People who ask "can i ask u a question?". didnt really give me a choice der, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is "new and improved". which is it? if its new, den der has neva bin anything b4 it. if its an improvement, den der must av bin sumtin b4 it!

8. When people say "life is short". wat the fuck? life is the longest damn thing any1 ever fuckin does!! wat can u do dats longer?? huh..

9. When u are waitin for the bus and sum1 asks "has the bus cum yet?" if the bus came wud i be standin here, knob head?

10.People dat say things lyk " my eyes arnt wat dey used be". so wat did dey used be? ears, wellington boots?? huh..

11. When ur eatin sumtin and sum1 asks "is dat nice?". No its manky- i always eat stuff i hate..

12.McDonalds staff who pretend dey dnt understand u if u dnt insert the "Mc" b4 the item u are orderin... it has 2 b a McChicken burger, jus a chicken burger gets blank looks. Well ill av a McStraw and jam it in ur McEyes u McTosser...

GAA PHRASES
HOLLY -- e.g. "I gave it holly"---I put a fair bit of effort into it.

B0LLIX----Pat Spillane or any kerry players or supporters

MIGHTY---Very good

HAMES---A right **** e-e.g.-"He made a hames of that chance"

TIMBER---Intimidation of a hurling opponent - e.g.- "Show him some timber"

LAMP----A good thump---e.g.-"I swung for the sliotar, missed by 3 feet and lamped the full back"

A CROWD---A gathering of people who watch a match and hope for random acts
of violence -e.g-Meath supporters

SCHKELP---To remove living tissue in the absence of surgical procedures -- e.g. "That whore from Tipp took a schkelp outta me leg"

HATCHET MAN---Mountainy type, uses hunter/gatherer instincts

BULLIN'---Angry-e.g-"The centre half was bullin' after I lamped him"

BULL THICK---Very angry-e.g.-"The centre half was bull thick after I lamped him again"

JOULT---A push-e.g.-"I gave him ! a joult and he has to wear a neck brace for 2 weeks"

THE COMM-A-TEEE---Local GAA bullshitters in general

BUSHTED---An undefined soreness-e.g.-"Jayz me arm is bushted"

THE BOMBER---Popular name for a fat hairy GAA player

A HANG SANGWIDGE---Consumed with "tay" on the sides of roads after matches in Croker or Thurles, usually contains half a pound of butter

RAKE-A great amount of anything, usually pints of Guinness the night before an important match

INDANAMAJAYSUS (in-da-nama-Jaysus)--! -What was that for referee?

YA B0LLIX YA---Corner back's formal recognition of a score by his opponent

LEH-IT-IN-TA-FcuK-WUD-YA---Full forwards appeal to a midfielder for a more timely delivery of the pass

MULLOCKER---Untidy or awkward player released for matches

BURST THE B0LLIX---Instructions from the sideline to tackle your man

ROW---Disagreement involving four or more players

MASSIVE ROW---Disagreement involving both teams, including goalies, substitutes and supporters jumping fences

ALL-HELL-BROKE-LOOSE---A massive row that continues out in the parking area or
dressing room areas, usually resolved by the gardai



in dis......
1.Whats your Name?
2. Are we close?
3. What do you think of me?
4. Do you hav a crush on me?
5. Would