10 things 2 do in tesco wen ur parents are shoppin 1 day ago

01. Get 24 boxes of condoms & randomly put them in people's trolleys
when they aren't looking.

02. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5 minute
intervals

03. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the ladies
toilet.

04. Move a 'CAUTION -WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

05. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask:
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

06. While handling large knives in the Kitchen Dept, ask the clerk if
he
knows where the anti-depressants are located.

07. Dart around the store suspiciously, while loudly humming the theme
from Mission Impossible.

08. Hide in a clothing rack . . . and when people browse
through,
say: "PICK ME!!! PICK ME!!!"

09. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, hit the floor and
assume the foetal position and scream "NO! ........It's those voices
again!!!" <<< Fucking Quality

And last but not least:

10. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while... then yell
loudly: "There's no toilet paper in here."

...0.0..... SEND THIS TO EVERYONE ON YOUR FRIENDS LIST INCLUDING
..0...0..... ME, TO SHOW RESPECT FOR ALL THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE CANCER
.0.....0.... OR HAVE DIED FROM CANCER.... THANKS!!
0.......0...
.0.....0..
..0...0...
...0..0...
....00....
..0....0..
.0......0..

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From Laoighse xXx <xxLei06xx>
To kearney2004, Reggy2, sXcReD06xx, Smaoifey, arfinneg, ash386, donanfield, dipdoe, Fi11, WonderfullyWeird, frandoyleonline, gill-no1, Qzackhihi88, silybillykiss, nhoj17, KatieDunne, xxkel06xx, lynchla8, laurao6XxX, xxlorrzxx, mk--06, Niamhuseggy, benny-and-joon, robbiegorgeous, sizzlin-sandra06, SarahUssher, shianne006
Subject yo mama
Sent 5 days ago
Yo Mama So Fat:

yo mama's so fat that after sex, you roll over twice and your still on the bitch!!!

yo mama's so fat that the last time she seen 90210 was on the weighing scales!!

yo mama's so fat that last time she stood on the weighing scales it said- one at a time please!!

yo mama's so fat that for sex u gotta slap her thigh and ride in on the waves!!


Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to put her picture on the milk truck.

Yo mama's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo mama's so fat, when she dances at a club, she makes the band skip.

Yo mama's so fat, on Halloween she trick or treats two houses at a time.

Yo mama's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo mama's so fat, she fills up the bath tub, and then she turns on the water.

Yo mama's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Yo mama's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

Yo mama's so fat, when your dad climbs on top of her, his ears pop.

Yo mama's so fat, every time she wears high heels, she strikes oil.

Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.

Yo mama's so fat, when I climbed up on top of her, I burned my ass on the lightbulb.

Yo mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hot-dogs.

Yo mama's so fat, she DJ's for the ice cream truck.

Yo mama's so fat, when she takes a shower, her feet don't get wet.

Yo mama's so fat, she can't wear Dazzey Dukes. She has to wear Boss Hoggs.

Yo mama's so fat, the shadow of her ass weighs 50 pounds.

Yo mama's so fat, the bitch jumped in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama's so fat, her lipstick comes in a spray can.

Yo mama's so fat, she sat on a dollar and made change.

Yo mama's so fat, her skates went flat.

Yo mama's so fat, when her beeper goes off people think she is backing up.

Yo mama's so fat, when she was born, she didn't get a birth certificate, she got blue prints.