The Ledgend: (sean lane)

Made one inter county wintery league substituted appearance back in 1978 and has been a regular full forward on the club team, since then after having acquired golden experience and regularly deferred to as the Club expert on any scenario on the field. Wears supports on both knees, both wrists, both elbows, has no teeth left from horrendous off the ball incident involving the priest at wing back on opposite team. Completely grey from shock of farming accident 15 years prior. Wears size 8 boot which are very small feet to carry considerable girth of a man his age and width consequently has dreadful difficulty staying on his feet but can always be relied upon to drag his man down inside the square. Unbeatable on a high pulling ball and under a dropping ball has been known to ruin many a hurling career, sex life and marriage prospects of many's the young hurler. Level head on the team and can always be called upon to make a passionate call on the annual first and only round of the championship what it means to wear the colours of the parish and fellas that are years younger than him retired long ago just because they don't understand the pride, at which point he breaks down. Wants to die on the hurling field only problem is he seems to ensure it happens to many's the hurler who comes or pulls across him. The Legend!

The Doctor: (tom costello)

Regular supporter, generally retired, ended up holding the medical kit one day and ever since the lads have called him the Doctor. Well versed on psychology that applies in serious medical emergencies on the field. In fact his most recent comment upon viewing the broken leg of one of the star hurlers was "Jesus his leg is f***ed lads!". Has been known to light up cigarette for player while tending to his injuries and is especially well versed at herbal remedies for wounds liberally applying distilled potatoes from a barrel to a muscle wound with the caveat 'Don't waste it'. Generally complements his medical knowledge with detailed recollections of even the most mundane club encounters of the previous 20 years. Club allocates 50 pounds a year to his budget for medical seminars run by the county board amounting 850 pounds of club service and as many pints that have been bought in the seminar's stead. Generally is a pipe smoker and his smell of tobacco lingers long after him in the dressing room.

The Athelete: (colin coen)

Generally hailing from the sports mecca of Limerick this all rounder seems to have reached zenith of sports career no matter what he turns his hand to. Took up hurling at 16 years old and made the minor county team two years later pissing off a lot of fellas who had been hurling since they were born, stick in hand. He is the one lad everyone loves hopping off at training and generally sustains a lot of finger and hand injuries during training. Generally remains clean even during winter running and his kit bag is never O Neills, always Umbro, Man United or Canterbury. Never drinks with the lads in the Club and if he does it's a rock shandy or Lucozade Sport. Generally a sad individual despite the fact his girlfriend is a model. Lads have no time for him as he will never take on 7 brothers from Ballybrown for one of his own men. Bad Egg!!

The Timber Merchant: (mark lane)

Wheeled out of the pub for the start of winter hurling where the sliotar drops dead in the Square and the last man standing tends to be the Timber Merchant. Every Club has one as before the start of any game when fellas are giving their spare hurleys to someone to carry for them, it takes one man alone to carry the sticks for the timber merchant. Loves the throw in ball and has been known to run full lenght of the field for a throw in which he wins but hurley flies into smithereens. Tends to be well known among all the local clubs and generally the standard against which aspiring hard men judge themselves. Walks with the cocky

1 Who are you?.......
2. Are we friends?........
3. When and how did we meet?........
4. Do you hav a crush on me?.........
5. Have you ever wanted to punch me?........
6. Give me a nikname and explain why?........
7. Describe me in 1 word........
8. what was ur first impression ov me?.......
9. do u still tink the same?......
10. What reminds u ov me?.....
11. If you could giv me anything wot wod it b?......
12. How well do u no me?......
13. Whens the last tym u saw me?.....
14. if we were alone together wat wud we do?
15. Are you goin 2 put dis on ur blog and c wot i say about u?...
16. would you kiss me??

United


"United, United, United, United, United, United, United." - Not terribly complex lyrics, really.


Take Me Home, United Road


"Take me home, United Road; To the place I belong; To Old Trafford, To see United; Take me home, United Road."

Stretford End Arising


"Don't go out tonight, unless you're red and white; I see there's trouble on the way; I see the Stretford End arising; I see there's trouble on the way."


We Shall Not Be Moved


"We shall not, We shall not be moved; We shall not, We shall not be moved, Just like a team that's gonna win the Football League (Again!); We shall not be moved."


We Love United


"We love United, we do; We love United, we do; We love United, we do; Oh United we love you."


Red Flag


"United's flag is deepest red; It shrouded all our Munich dead; Before their limbs grew stiff and cold; Their heart's blood dyed it's ev'ry fold; Then raise United's banner high; Beneath it's shade we'll live and die; So keep the faith and never fear; We'll keep the Red Flag flying here;

"Then raise United's banner high; Beneath it's shade we'll live and die; So keep the faith and never fear; We'll keep the Red Flag flying here;

"We'll never die, we'll never die We'll never die, we'll never die We'll keep the Red flag flying high; 'Cause Man United will never die."