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Jessica Fletcher

It's a little known fact that the producers cut the sex scene from the Murder She Wrote - Magnum PI crossover episode.

9/3/08 | me too! | Reply

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  • Female, 87, Luv 6
  • from United States
  • Profile views: 316
  • Member since: December 2007
  • Last active: 11/28/08
  • www.bebo.com/JessicaF291
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About Me

Tagline
The most successful serial killer America has ever known
Me, Myself, and I
I'm best known as a detective novel writer, having gotten into this line of work after retiring as a teacher, but I get most enjoyment from murdering new and interesting people that I meet at social occasions, usually people I meet through my numerous old friends.
Happiest When
Murdering, framing, meeting old friends

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  • Who dunnit?

    1. My old friend from the Country Club
    2. My dear cousin, who I haven't seen in years
    3. The shady ex-boyfriend of my dear cousin, who I never really trusted
    4. The local incompetent-but-lovable police sheriff
    5. Me, Jessica Fletcher

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  • Jessica Fletcher charged with 689 murders

    From The Chaser, Wednesday, 30 May 2007
    http://www.chaser.com.au/content/vie...

    Popular mystery writer Jessica Fletcher has been charged with 689 homicides previously declared solved. Police say Fletcher concocted an image as a harmless busybody and amateur sleuth as a means of avoiding suspicion, allowing to kill her victims with means varying from a marble bust toppled from a roof-top to a rigged stunt man's gun. She avoided detection for many years, before prosecutors uncovered statistics showing Fletcher on or near the scene of hundreds of different homicides.
    Cabot Cove, the sleepy Maine town the writer called home, was similar in size to nearby, violence-free towns, but suffered dozens of bloody murders in less than a decade. "It was just too much of a coincidence to ignore," FBI profiling expert John McDonald said. "A perpetrator offering to assist in the investigation of homicide they themselves has committed is a pattern we often see in serial killings. The explanations for the crimes were just getting more and more improbable."

    Fletcher was able to convince police she was genuine with a combination of homespun wisdom and plucky charm, even going as far as developing a relationship with the gruff but lovable local sheriff. "She was very convincing," said one investigator. "Her pat summation of the facts of the case, her uncanny ability to elicit a confession out of the least likely suspect, it was all very impressive. I mean, put her up against a crooked property developer trying to buy an old marina, and who are the cops going to believe?"

    The FBI started to investigate Fletcher after receiving a tip-off from a cruise ship operator. "It got to the point where no cruise company would let her board one of their ships because they knew that as soon as she showed up, a corpse would soon follow," McDonald said.

    Shakespearean actor Lionel Hitchens was one of those framed by the sociopathic widow. Despite protestations of innocence, he was led away in handcuffs after Fletcher gave a glib summation of his motives for a senseless crime. "Why would I kill another actor just because I was his understudy to play Hamlet? In an amateur theatre production? It didn't make any sense. But as soon as the police had spent a half-hour investigating it, they just went with the first explanation they heard, and didn't want to know any more."

    While investigators say the evidence against Fletcher is overwhelming, they have not ruled out a surprise twist, possibly involving a surprise special guest star witness.

    0 Comments 274 weeks

  • Facts about Jessica Fletcher

    It is understood that Jessica Fletcher can been implicated in every murder to have taken place in the English-speaking world.

    "Murder, She Wrote" is never repeated, Angela Lansbury acts out every scene live for each broadcast.

    Jessica Fletcher once convicted herself of murder.

    Studies show you are 1200% more likely to be murdered if you are within a 5-mile radius of Jessica Fletcher. This grows to 4000% if you are an old friend of hers and further doubles if you are once removed from a relative.

    Jessica Fletcher discovered and convicted the murderer of Jesus Christ, then covered it up to preserve Christianity.

    The entire population of the United States, Great Britain and the Republic of Ireland has, at some stage, been an old friend of Jessica Fletcher's.

    Jessica Fletcher is so convincing at framing suspects, she regularly convinces innocent men that they are killers.

    Cabot Cove, Maine, has the highest murder rate in the world. It is estimated that residence in Cabot Cove increases your chances of becoming a murder victim to approximately 100%.

    Jessica Fletcher dabbles in acting, and has often portrayed the character Angela Lansbury, an actress, to defer attention from her murderous ways.

    Jessica Fletcher has been romantically linked with a string of oil barons, landowners and such high-profile personalities as Lee Harvey Oswald and Mark Chapman.

    The term "busybody" was coined to save time when introducing Jessica Fletcher to a jury.

    Jessica Fletcher can overrule a Supreme Court judge with a witty anecdote, a wry smile and some of that prized New England charm.

    Jessica Fletcher's perm IS the grassy knoll.

    Jessica Fletcher cannot be prosecuted because a jury of her peers could only consist of twelve Jessica Fletchers.

    Jessica Fletcher did all of the voices for the Watergate recordings.

    Relatives of Jessica Fletcher are reputed to have gone to great expense to avoid contact with her, often going to such lengths as burning any mail with a Maine postmark.

    Health insurance companies refuse to accept old friends of Jessica Fletcher as clients.

    Jessica Fletcher was implicated in the deaths of Achilles and Tutenkhamun, and can be clearly distinguished in a series of cave paintings in Greece and Egypt.

    0 Comments 294 weeks

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  • Alicia Bowe
    Alicia Bowe

    I just racked $985 in a weekend in my free time! I love this site - http://x.co/KTLX Remember who hooked you up!

    11/21/10
  • luv Stephen

    Excuse me, yes, you below, I think you'll find our Dear Jess is dating Mark Sloan, so take your "sexiness" elsewhere

    7/2/08
  • luv Stephen

    Hi Jessica! How are you? Have you met up with any old friends lately?

    6/25/08
  • luv Stephen

    I must say I found your detective skills yesterday very awe-inspiring. Unmasking the killer by using Lipstick is something I would never have thought of.

    5/14/08
  • Stephen

    Jessica my Dear old friend! Did you know one of our friend's fiance has invited his wife-to-be's other hidden lover to their wedding, not knowing that this hidden lover is murderous with jealousy?

    4/29/08
  • Shaun Corbett
    luv Shaun Corbett

    Why thank you Jessica! I must say, the visit went well. I believe I'm still alive, though unfortunately it was in a rather public location and sunny enough so that switching the lights off made no difference. Sorry I didn't reply quick enough to tell you you could come, but I hear you were engaged that day anyway. Something to do with a grassy knoll...

    4/24/08
  • Diagnosis Murder FTW
    Diagnosis Murder FTW

    Dr Mark Sloan having an ulterior motive? No, Jess. I assure you my advances art strictly platonic. So, are you able to come to LA?

    4/22/08
  • Diagnosis Murder FTW
    luv Diagnosis Murder FTW

    Jessica! Mark here! I know it's been a long time but it's about time us old friends got together now and then. Anyway, I need your help in a murder investigation. There was a person stabbed in downtown LA with a cross like you'd find in a church, my current suspicions lie in that mysterious Father Dowling and that renegade nun of his. The bottom line is we're all very preplexed. Any chance you could get the next flight from Cabot Cove to LA? Your 728328th Old Friend, Mark Sloan

    4/18/08
  • Shaun Corbett
    luv Shaun Corbett

    Why Jessica, my old friend! Now, I'm in a bit of a conundrum. I have a teacher returning to my school for a visit, and she's known for having loads of ";o ld friends". I know that you, who practically hoard us old friends, have been in a spot of danger recently. All those murders! I'd be suspicious if it wasn't for your trademark New England folksiness. I, like most people (I imagine), want to avoid a grisly fate. Should I avoid this teacher, or brave the consequences? Yours Sincerely, John F Kennedy.

    4/15/08
  • Annie
    Annie

    hi

    4/10/08
  • John Tuohy
    John Tuohy

    sounds lovely jessica, but i thought you were visiting your dear old friend who has terminal cancer and is being cared for by that suspicious looking nurse who has a police record for commiting euthinasia

    2/28/08
  • John Tuohy
    John Tuohy

    hey jessica what you at for the weekend?

    2/27/08
  • John Tuohy
    John Tuohy

    Oh he started harrassing this old man so he would sel,h im the land so they had a massive public brawl and the old man called in the A-team, they sorted him right out!

    12/4/07
  • John Tuohy
    John Tuohy

    well if it isnt my old friend jessica, hey have you met my suspicously angry and sinister girlfriend who consistently has public arguments with a man shes rumoured to have an affair with?

    12/4/07