I am the Shit without the Stink!!!


A little about me, well, I’m a fairly dynamic individual, often seen scaling tall buildings or crushing compact cars with my bare hands. Occasionally, I can be found cooking green apples on the Braai on my lunch break, yes green apples. I can make minute rice in only 30 seconds. Once, using only a hoe and a glass of water, I single handedly defended a small village in Kenya from a hoard of ferocious army ants. People come from miles away to see my collection of ordinary dead leaves.

When I’m bored, I build model fighter jets in my backyard, Actual size. I have been tagged and released to be observed in my natural habitat. People trust me, but geese fear me. I sleep only once a week, and then, only standing up. I can throw tennis racquets and cricket bats at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I am a steamship captain, a steel analyst, and a ruthless loan shark. I can dodge bullets upwards of 30% of the time, while dropping it up a gear

While on vacation, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery, and later I took the cake. I have discovered the meaning of life, but forgot where I put it. I have been undercover for the FBI, and uncovered by the CIA. Sometimes, I walk old ladies only half way across the street. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full contact basket weaving. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Timbuktu. I have been the subject of numerous documentaries. I have won bullfights in Pamplona, cliff diving competitions in Zimbabwe, and spelling bees in the Kremlin. I thrive on intensity and focus.

And now, of course, I have a profile at bebo.com! For any other information, you’ll have to get a hold of me, unless of course I am curing cancer with the Chuckmeister.

Who am I, I am the Manager.

Who I'd like to meet:
outstanding, dynamic individuals filled with passion, creativity, and useless knowledge.


ALL JOKES ASIDE: I AM FOR REAL.

LADIES AND GENTLEBEANS, YES SIR IT IS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN. 4HT OF JULY - SO CALLED INDEPENDANCE DAY, DON'T GET ME STARTED, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED. SO HERE'S THE SKINNY...I WAS PARKING OFF WITH THE DORIS'S, BE THEY TAMMY AND CARA YES THEY DO, AND WE WERE BANTERING ABOUT GOING AWAY. OF COURSE NATUARALLY I SAY KEY WEST CAUSE IT IS MY HOME AWAY FROM HOME AND THE OFFICIAL UEC/FIRM VACATION SPOT. SO TO MAKE A SHORT STORY LONG WE DECIDE THAT WE ARE GOING TO KICK IT UP AND DROP IT UP A GEAR ONCE AGAIN IN THE FABULOUS KEY WEST. IT IS GOING TO BE 4 DAYS 3 NIGHTS OF PURE INTENSITY AND FOCUS. FOR MY FALLEN BROTHERS YOU WILL BE CELEBRATED AND SODA STREAMS ALL ROUND. IT IS A SHAME THAT THE FIRM COULDNT BE TOGETHER IT ITS ENTIRITY, BUT I WILL BRING IT LIKE IT HAS NEVER BEEN BROUGHT, HOPEFULLY MAKING MY FELLOW FIRMIANS PROUD OF MY EFFORTS, I.E. THE VIDEO CAMERA IS COMING OUT AND WE HAVE A SUITE...BRING ON THE PAIN!

SO I PLEA TO ALL READERS, THINK OF US WHEN WE ARE SURROUNDED BY TROPICAL PLEASURE, BASKING IN THE BEAUTY OF REASONABLY PRICED DRINKS AND A MULTITUDE OF DORIS'S ALL SEARCHING FOR A "GOOD TIME". I SHITE YOU NOT A GOOD TIME WILL BE HAD BY ALL, AND YOU WILL BE IN OUR THOUGHTS UNTIL WE CAN THINK NO MORE, FOR SOME OF US THATS A COUPLE SODA STREAMS AND SOME RED BULL VODKA'S. IT IS TIME ONCE AGAIN TO CONQUER KEY WEST AND SHOW HER WHAT UEC IS MADE OF.

UEC! UEC! UEC! UEC! UEC!


HOLD ME BACK I'M A TIGER WHEN I'M LOOSE

Well Boys and Girls, the Keys were wicked as usual so I had to rub it in. We only spent one night though, which of course didnt impress me...for those of you ewho dont know, you need at least a week there. Hilt and Tino we found a lekker hotel to pre-game in buggers! they have suites with a kitchen, fridge...everything to make a one time shoe shine party happen ek se!

Anyways to make a short story long, we ended up hitting Ricks with force, I shit you not...of course we represented, and my boy Fred was there to lead us astray. So now I am at the bar hitting a few encouragements, hitting! hitting! when I get blind sided by this Doris who I a has an "encounter" with the last time we dropped it up a gear. The only good thing from this convo was that I got her name and some closure. Now you see this would not have happened if I had a wingman.

Life is hard in paradise okes, you should join me and rough it out at slims!!!