I want to go back from where I came from..
Something I've lost long ago..
But I can't, because I know the place only have tears left for me..
I want to end the dreams I don't want to face..
I want to pretend as if they've ceased to exist..
I want to pretend that they weren't meant to be..
But it's there.. and the more I try to hide it..
The more it creeps back from the corners of your life..
The more I want to tell myself that it should be over..
But life goes on.. and you try to live everyday as it's the last..
Hanging there by a thread..
Threads of memories.. you want to remember.. and those you don't want to mention..
Sitting at the porch next to the window.. still fairly young..
I looked up at the sky.. all was dark and still.. except for those few stars up above.. and the moonlight shinning through..
I starred at the moon and.. wished I was someone else and some place alone..
I wish I never had to come back again..
Then.. all of a sudden, it became true..
Now I am old..
I never had to go back to that porch if I don't want to..
But I've left something there now.. that I can't go back to retrieve anymore..
Those cold tiles that I sat on.. I still remember.. so clearly..

Now I seem to know why you left.
You saw in me that I didn't.
My inability to commit.
My inability to commit to seeing you.
My inability to commit to being punctual.
My inablility to commit to my goals.
My inability to commit to time.
My inability to commit to you.
I once felt so disappointed in people, but maybe the one I should be disappointed at is myself.
If you ever might catch on, to read upon this.
I just want to tell you I'm sorry.
I know I failed you, but most importantly I failed myself, and that is why you had left.
Sometimes my words are just not enough, it was unfair to you.
I wish I really hadn't.. those mistakes.. you were the best thing that came across my life, and I spoiled it just like that..
I didn't treasure you for what you were for that time being, and now there's only left of me to regret of.
I wish I could take it back, but I can't..
I've hurt and disappointed you..
Though short, it never occurred in my mind that it was so, you've leant me to learn alot, thank you..

You study..
Because you want to save people's lives, as it has once saved yours.

You train..
Because you want to protect the people and things you love and treasure, and would fight to stand up for them too.

You work..
Because you want to take care and make proud of your family, as they had once taken care and made proud of you.

You live..
Because you want to show others you would not give up, so that they would have the strength to live on too.

You dream..
Because you don't abandon hope and what is right, and would stand for the things you believe in.