How did all the Pakis get to Canada?
The first one swam and the rest walked over on top of the dead fish

How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
None


Has anyone else noticed that MADDIE is an anagram of I'M DEAD?


An American walks into a Library.
15 dead.


Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape


I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today.
Unfortunately, it's only for victims.


What's white on top and black on bottom?
Society


Disabled toilets.
Ironically, the only toilets big enough to run around in.


What's the biggest cause of paedophilia in this country?
Sexy kids.


I can't think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they're dead


What does a bible and a penis have in common ?
Both get shoved down your throat by a Priest


Eighteen year old virgin.
No recollection from the victim.
No witnesses.
Carlsberg don't do rapes....


The new barman in the pub is black, so I said to him, "Beer please, nigger."
He hit the roof and said, "Why don't we swap places, let's see how you like it."
So I went round the bar, he walked out then came back in and said, "Beer please, honkey."
I said, "Sorry mate, we don't serve niggers in here."


So black ice is more dangerous and more likely to cause us harm than normal ice...
Surprise Surprise.


Whats the difference between Cancer and a Goat?
Jade Goody can't milk a goat.


What does a ginger miss most about parties?
The invitation.

What's Madeleine and the Maddie Fund got in common?
Gerry's put his fingers into both.


Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?
Bit of both, this is a rape.

horse walks into a bar,
The barman asks, "why the long face?"
To which the horse replies, "I've got AIDS."

They say that, "once you go black, you never go back."
That's because you die of aids.

Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova, a shame?
A Nova seats 4.
Why is it a shame to see 4 chavs going over the edge of a cliff in a nova?
There's always room in the boot.

You can say what you like about paedophiles, but they're generous with their sweets.

What's brown & found in babies nappies?
Michael Jackson's dick.

A nigger walks up to a bus stop and waits for the bus.
A massive dog walks up beside him and takes two heaping shits either side of him and walks off.
When the bus arrives the man asks "how much?"
Bus driver replies "£2.50 for you and £1.50 for your kids"

What's the difference between a naked white woman and a naked black woman?
One's on the cover of Playboy and the other's on the cover of National Geographic.