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close About Me
- Are you possessed? By a twat...
- Me, Myself, and I
- who reads this shit anyway...
J' mappelle Gracie...
J' mappelle not well...
- Diamond Beatz
- presets, birds of tokyo, gotye, rage, hot chip, prodigy, pendulum, simian mobile disco, tv on the radio, blur, old kings of leon, radiohead, masive attack, portishead.
- bla bla bla
bla bla blah
- The bad word made good!
- Cunt spelled with a "k" is acceptable.
u got it "kunt".
- Scared of
- Hairy ankles, long toenails, greasy hair marks on the window on the bus, my dog shittin on me, su's ma, my ma, emma wen shes bein psycho, meat cleaver accidents, eventually having to stop smoking, signing on, winter, su catching a swan, growing the fuck up
- Happiest When
- im bein a complete twat and having heapsa fun and its actually appreciated. i get a full nights sleep. im absolutely hanging on a sunday but can still manage to giggle at the mad nights craic i had.
- My niggaz
- Mel, Emma, Mo, Jeremy, Lara, Macca, Leafhead, Fee, Lano, Beej, Darryll, Darragh, Jonny, Mael, Long Toes, mcarbomb, Cubed, Coyle. Michael, Rohan, X-treme Kiwi, ad last but not least by all means JESS........ and ELAINE!!!!!!!!! FUK IS THAT EVERY1? prob not lol
- The Other Half Of Me
cos shes jus gorgeous!
It takes more than a Mexican outfit and some seed distribution to make me happy
That's not really a game, is it? It's more a series of horrific events, culminating in a rape
If a wolf approaches, you simply punch it on the nose
Killed a swan yesterday. Did a shit on it... Right on it.
Took pity on you eh? He took a piss on me!
You're the least dark person I know. You're like candy floss
Blue tac lives in the blue tac garden, sellotape upon the sellotape tree
I'm the sheriff of stationery village
You look like a tramp with a fringe.
Eggs, milk and flour - pancake power.
I don't need him, I've already got a shallow mate who dresses like a futuristic prostitute.
Did anyone have a pencil case?
The wind is my only friend... ..[Wind]: I hate you.
Hush your mouth, or I'll fly at you like a sack of cocks
See you later, chewy teeth.
Day eighty-nine, storm never ends… provisions gone, so hungry. Had to eat my own pubes.
Help yourself to pubic soup.
Get me an ape suit, three bananas and a hot towel!
You're about as edgy as a satsuma
It's impossible to be unhappy in a poncho.
You know the black bits in bananas? Are they tarantula’s eggs?
You’ve had all the word nourishment you need.
Imagine that, a poncho sombrero combo, I'll be off my tits on happiness
Goth Juice... The most powerful hairspray known to man...Made from the tears of Robert Smith!
Actually, your legs are quite funny. They're like a couple of hose pipes propping up a beanbag
You're not Spanish, you're clearly from Leeds!
Stocky Jesus, he's like Jesus but fatter
These coconuts taste exactly like Bounty! The chocolate tastes a bit weird though, tastes like that cheap chocolate you get in advent calendars!
Yeah, big deal. See that? Straighteners, Nicky Clarke, hottest you can get. Fell asleep on them while I was pissed.
Get lost, creepy crust!
C'mon, Bollo, get your monkey anus up at the steering wheel.
He's dead. It was a terrible thing, he tripped over some cobwebs.
I've seen you in the hallway when you think no one's looking, giving yourself a Chinese burn.
Are you possessed? By a twat?
And you will receive him like a satchel of vaginas.
But I've got nothing on the inside, I'm like a beach ball
Monkey hands... and frozen legs, the ultimate combination.
As if you're gonna be a writer, you haven't even got a pen!
Remember that time I pushed that toddler in front of a juggernaut just because he was standing on my Topshop vouchers?
All men fancy me Howard - I'm the confuser. 'Is it a man? Is it a woman? Ooh, I'm not sure if I mind!'
You don't know my friends, they're WELL shallow!
Bin men? As if they exist! They're the stuff of legend, like unicorns.
Oh my sweet Lord, are you the new face of trapped wind?
You can blag all that internal stuff, I'm talking about the look.
His quiches are great.... He puts lego in them
Howard... are you a virgin?
It's not rape, it's some terrific bunny bumming
I might transform myself into a mighty hawk. Mighty Hawk! Either that, or work in
Dixons - I haven't decided.
Quiet Bollo, you ball bag!
No, the OCCULT not YAKULT!
Dun dun dunnnnn.... peacock dreams
And the peacock realised he was disgusting - like a ball bag in the wind.
Spirit of jazz
Ow, chicka chicka ow. Ow! OW! My hat's on fire! What's wrong with you? You blind? Why didn't ya tell me?
I'm gonna creep inside you like a warm kitten!
Every time you play an instrument I'll be inside you, wearing you like a glove
I've been inside all the greats; Charlie Parker, Miles Davis - I've even been inside Steve Davis... though that was an accident.
It's time for me to get inside you again boy!
No that ain't my look! That was a brand new hat.. spoiled my exit now..
I is no way related to you boy! You is ugly bugly!
I'm so evil, I once kicked a raccoon's face RIGHT off its body. What its face was doing on its body I'v
0 Comments 278 weeks
Drop a line to my blog of the good memories we have had together.
2 Comments 279 weeks