John Smeaton drowned a fish.

Death once had a near-John Smeaton experience.

John Smeaton died 5 years ago, Death never had the balls to tell him

John Smeaton dosent sleep, he waits.


When John Smeaton does push ups, he's actually pushing the ground down.

if you wake up tomorrow, it'll be because John Smeaton allowed you to

John Smeaton can strangle you with a cordless phone.

John Smeaton can delete the recycle bin

John Smeaton won a game of connect 4 in 2 moves.

John Smeaton does not dodge bullets. Bullets dodge John Smeaton

Everynight before the bogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for John Smeaton.

John created Giraffes when he uppercut a zebra

Crop circles are John Smeatons way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures John Smeaton allows to live.

John Smeaton once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

John Smeaton can slam a revolving door.

most men wear superman pyjamas, superman wears john smeaton pyjamas.

Lions put their heads in John Smeatons mouth
Reply With Quote

John Smeaton has a pet Dodo.


When Smeaton jumps in a pool he dosen’t get wet, water gets Smeaton

John Smeaton is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like John Smeaton

John Smeaton plays russian roulette with a fully loded revolver... and wins.


John Smeaton doesn't need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.

John Smeaton once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.


John Smeaton ordered a big mac at Burger king….and got one!!!

Everybody goes to Tenerife, John goes to Elevenerife

The devil sold his soul to John Smeaton

John Smeaton once ate an after eight at " hauff seven " !

John Smeaton can touch MC Hammer

John Smeaton CAN believe it's not butter.

When Smeaton peels an onion, the onion greets.

Smeatons calander goes stright from 31st of March to the 2nd of April......No one fools the Smeaton!

Smeaton put 'laughter' into Manslaughter!!!

John Smeaton has counted to infinity. Twice.

John Smeaton does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. John Smeaton goes killing.

The Great Wall of China was originally built to keep John Smeaton out, it failed miserably.


Smeaton once leapt from one of the Twin Towers to the other....blindfolded!

John Smeaton is older than the universe.

John Smeaton knows that Clark Kent is superman with glasses on.

John Smetaon can make plants grow twice as fast by looking at them.

John Smeaton fell into lava once and managed to swim to safety.

John Smeaton drinks through his nose so that he can speak at the same time