1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.. and for some
reason, that\\\'s ok.
2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling
our butts while yelling \\\"WOO-HOO\\\" is truly the sexiest dance move around.
3. We\\\'ve suddenly decided that we want to kick someone\\\'s ass and
honestly believe we could do it too.
4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like
a homeless hooker than the goddess we started out as just 4 hours ago.
5. We drop our 3am submarine sandwich/pizza slice/poutine on the
floor, pick it up and continue eating it like its >>nobody\\\'s
business.
6.We start crying and declare to everyone we see, including
people we barely know, that we love them SOOOO MUCH. hah this def sounds familiar!!lol
7. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new
song comes on because \\\"OH MY GOD, I LOVE THIS SONG!\\\"
8. We\\\'re suddenly full of profound spiritual wisdom... and so is
the geek next to
us.
9. We don\\\'t see anything wrong with making out with
profs/co-workers/boss or ahem alot of our fellow college boys should they be around
10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, get up on the table or bar and start to sing or dance becomes strangely
overwhelming to us.
11. Our eyes just won\\\'t seem to stay open by themselves, so we keep them half closed and think it looks incredibly sexy.
12. We\\\'ve suddenly taken up smoking and we believe we\\\'re really good at it
13. We yell at the bartender who we believe has cheated us by
giving us just orange juice, but that\\\'s just because we can no longer taste the vodka.
14. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like
the floor.. or like the mop.
15. We start every conversation with a slurred \\\"Don\\\'t take this the wrong way but...\\\"
16. We fail to notice that the toilet lid is down before we sit on it.
17. Our hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves.
18. We are tired, but we are troopers so instead of going >>home,
we just sit on the floor wherever we are standing and take a
quick nap.
19. We begin leaving the buttons open on our button fly jeans to cut down on the time we\\\'re in the bathroom away from our drink.
20. We take our shoes off because a) they\\\'re ridiculously
impractical.. but soo beautiful! b) We believe it\\\'s the shoes\\\'
fault that we can\\\'t walk straight.
21. We feel oddly comfortable sitting on the toilet peeing while having a full blown conversation with each other.
22. No matter what got broken, thrown up on, stolen, no matter
who said what or who went home with whoever else - we ALWAYS call
each other the next day.

You're as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit

He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician

As funny as a burning orphanage

He's so camp, he shites tent pegs

I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes

She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn

Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit

I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of the van that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.

A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard

Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche

She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book

Mother Teresa wouldn't kiss her

A sniper wouldn't take her out

Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle

If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one

She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked piss off a nettle

She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede

She had a fanny like a badly packed kebab

If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the wall