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Emzy Luvs Ya
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- cum on pretty mama
- Me, Myself, and I
- hey, im a pretty easy going hot momma who loves my babys..
im guna be 21 soon! mad az...
Life sould NOT be a journey to the grave with the intension of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways glowstick in one hand, bottle of vodka in the other body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming " WOO HOO!!" wat a ride!
I'd rather be disliked for who I am than be liked for who I'm not
MЧ BUSiNЄSS AiNT UR BUSiNЄSS,
SΘ UNLЄSS ЧΘUR MЧ THΘNG,
DΘNT BЄ UP MЧ ΛRSЄ =D
- i love all music realy bt i am obssessd wif justin timberlake, evry1 dat knws me shud knw dat hehe
- anyfing wif will farell in it and tom green
- i love cricket, rugby and basket ball
- Scared Of
- im scared of ghosts, insects, and homeless peple
- Happiest When
- wif my baby blake, laxn at da beach and getn on piss wiff m8s.
- The Other Half Of Me
he likes gobbys
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- How well do you know Emma? 29 Taken
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
5. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.
6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.
7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
10. Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilizer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
13. Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.
14. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
15. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
16. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
17. In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
18. They once tried to carve Chuck Norris's face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard!
0 Comments 277 weeks
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
0 Comments 277 weeks
awww lookie hehe
As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
Certainties in life:
~You'll fight with your best friend.
~You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
~You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
~You’ll have regrets…everyone does.
So take too many pictures , laugh too much , and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.
~Find someone who calls you beautiful instead of hott!
~Who calls you back when you hang up on them!
~Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.
~Wait for the one who kisses your forehead…
~Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats!!
~Who holds your hand in front of their friends.
~Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much they care about you and how lucky they are to have you.
Wait for the one who turns to their friends and says, "..That’s her."
0 Comments 280 weeks
"A hip non-conformist who truly stands for his/her beliefs - you are out to make a difference in this world, and you have a realistic chance of success. You have always been self-driven and derive your inspiration from those close to you. Ambitious - and why shouldn't you be - the sky is the limit for you!"change featured testimonial
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