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- what are you looking at???.........SPRING CHICKEN
- Me, Myself, and I
- <<<<<meself jodie nd shane boppin at oxegen!!
The one thing that can solve most of our problems is dancing.
No,no,no...mean is when I made Jess Mancini ride her bike home after i ass fucked her
Whoever said, 'It's not whether you win or lose that counts,' probably lost.
Martina Navratilova, American Tennis Player
"Respect? I don't know the meaning of the word... and frankly sonny, I don't give a shit!"
- The Other Half Of Me
- BOP, cuntish to middlin, the tadge, 90+90, the lemon bubble, blow up couchs 4 free, "are you pissin on my tent", jimmy newtron, crowd surfin, snowpatrol, rock out, robbin wellies, eddie, chloe gettin pulled of crowd, english tent, pit, saw docs, xbox rave, baliclava, head torch, ARMANI SUNGLASSES, drug dogs, cathrine burke, dan and ger, undercover cops, colm fittin in, drawin on faces, precipitation control, shane pissin on a tent, a brick, 1850-savejimmy.com, john player, hard ons in tent, bopin, bread sandwichs, gettin barred 4m centre, shane gettin arrested, shanes porn game, hand prints, mascara, muck, deadmau5,
carnival, shane sleep talkin, makin up our own line ups, dodgy burgers, chloes clean clothes coz she wore everybodys elses in da mud, country game, mayo flag, on big screen 4 saw doctors, lings of keon, wrist band gone white, colm brushin teeth with vodka, throwin sausages, sausage penis, singin rebel songs at rave, shane drawin over celtic fans with his baliclaca, soda bread, tracys boobs!
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- How well do you know Kevin? 36 Taken
1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have
a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call
your teacher mum or dad.
1 The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at
the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half
way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
2 No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has
had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece
of wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
0 Comments 48 days ago
2 Comments 317 weeks
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
It is impossible to be raped by Chuck Norris because that would mean you did not want it to happen.
Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
They say that lightning never strikes the same place twice. Niether does Chuck Norris. He doesn't have to.
If you see Chuck Norris crying he will grant you a wish, if your wish is dying.
Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Chuck Norris so he can scare the shit out of them.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris once went on Celebrity Jeopardy and answered, "Who is Chuck Norris?" to every question. It was the first and only time in Jeopardy history that a contestant answered every single question right.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. The same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris thought up some of the funniest Chuck Norris facts ever, but he hasn't submitted them to the site because he doesn't believe in
0 Comments 317 weeks
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