- Me, Myself, and I
- There is a plague among us. A plague that will devolve the human race and everything associated with it. It creates disorder in every village, town and city. It insults and destroys everyone and everything. It hangs about on street corners and drinks or shouts abuse to anyone.
This 'plague' is known as.....
Yes thats right the dreaded Chavs and there scummy race of Pikeys.
This band is for all u chav haters out there so become a groupie today and support us on the way to the EXTERMINATION of the Chavs.
so become an ANTI CHAV groupie today
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In the world of a chav there can only be one alpha male and female. The alpha male is usualy the biggest built in the gang, not only are they the biggest, but usually they are the dumbest. They have a tiny grasp on the English language, ordering the rest of the gang with a series of grunts and growls, each sound with it's own primetive meaning. The alpha male is usualy the only chav in the group that can get served in shops for fags and cyder. He usualy is seen to be going out with either the domernent female or just the cheapest, who he screws in parks and parked cars. Under the alpha male come the rest of the hoard, these are usualy made up of chavs that enjoy muging old women and hit small children so that they can feel big and manly, the more manly they are the higher up the social ladder they climb. At the bottom of the pack are the 8-10 year old chavs who are only just learning the ways of the chav. They can be used for looking out for the police or for climbing into open house windows to check if the owners are in so that bigger chavs can rob the house and sell the loot for weed. Now we come to the alpha female, this is normaly the girl who has been servicing the male chavs for the longest or has the brightest orange tan and has usualy fought her way to the top. Under her are the even cheaper tarts, who try and copy what their leader has done in her sexlife, these girls service the other male chavs when they are drunk. Under them come again the 8-10 year olds that are used as modles for the chavs to try out their hair dressing and makeup skills on as practice for what they will look like when they will be stood on the street corner, selling theselves for £30 an hour. As you can see chavs have a very primertive society with no real change in leader unless the leader dies or is sent to prisson. Thats all for now, but I will return with imformation on a chavs romantic night out and also with research from chavs in the Northeast, when I go to the Newcastle (Blyth) area later this week. Please do return and remember; if you find a stray chav take it to the vet and have it given the snip so that it cannot go on to breed with other chavs.
Chav's Common Sense
Do chavs have common sense? Short answer, no. Today whilst in English one of the chav asked the teacher "is that the sun or the moon?" in the middle of the day and theres a bright yellow object in the sky, what else could it be?
Other stupid questions I have heard them ask; "Are there cats in America?", "Who is the general public?" and finaly from an advanced science chav "Sir, what is a limb?"
Only a short thing today, but I promise I will have an illustration of a chav for you soon so that you can all identify and kill a chav on sight!
Why Do Chavs Do What They Do?
Today a friend of mine brought to my attention the randomness of a chav's actions, by asking the question "Do chavs make their life choices with the help of a lucky 8 ball?" Perhaps they do, lets look at the facts. Why do Chavs wear their pants in their socks?? Answer; when running away from the sweet old lady they had just beaten up and stolen her money a chav needs some where to put all the loot, so by putting it down his pants the money cannot fall out because of the socks!
Why do chavs walk with their hands down their pants? there are two possible answers:1. to try and warm their hands because they are too stupid to wear gloves outside unless they are stealing a car. 2. Maybe it is so when they shout "Yo dirty fucking mosher!" they squeez their own small dirty balls, alowing them to reach that awfuly high note at the end of the scentnce.
Why do chavs say "I'l fuckin. (correct use of puncutaiont) slash y.?" Answer; It is because they know that who ever they are trying to rob will beat the shit out of them unless they have a weapon, however as the chav does not want be aressted by the "5 0" they will only carry round a blunt kniffe. Chavs seem to blame it on been bored, we get b
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