anyway here is a few helpful tips To all backpackers, ex-backpackers and
wannabies;

if you find your Having trouble readjusting to life back at home now that
the travelling is over? Here's a few handy hints to help you settle back in


1) Replace your bed with two or more bunk beds, and every night invite
random people to sleep in
your bedroom with you. Ensure at least once a week a couple gets drunk and
shags on one of the top bunks. Remove beds one by one as symptoms improve


2)Sleep in your sleeping bag, forgetting to wash it for months.?Add some
bugs in order to wake up with many unsightly bites over your arms and legs


3)Enlist the help of a family member to set?your radio alarm to go off
randomly during the night, filling your room with loud talking.This works
best if the station is foreign. Also have several mobiles ringing, without
being answered. To add to the torture, ask a friend to bring plastic bags
into your
room at roughly 6 in the morning and proceed to rustle them for no apparent
reason for a good half an hour


4)Keep all your clothes in a rucksack. Remember to smell them before puting
them on and reintroduce the use of the iron SLOWLY


5)Buy your favourite food, and despite living at home, write your name and
when you might next be leaving the house on all bags. This should include
mainly pasta, 2 minute noodles,carrots, beer and a few boxes of wine


6)Ask a family member to every now and again steal an item of food,
preferably the one you have
most been looking forward to or the most expensive. Keep at least one item
of food far too long or in a bag out in the sun, so you have to spend about
24 hours within sprinting distance of the toilet


7) Even if it's a Sunday, vacate the house by 10a.m., and then stand on the
corner of the street looking lost. Ask the first passer-by of similar ethnic
background if they have found anywhere good to go yet


When sitting on public transport (the London Tube would be ideal)
introduce yourself to the person sitting next to you, say which stop you got
on at, where you are going, how long you have been travelling and what
university you went to. If they say they are going to Morden, say you met a
guy on the central line who said it was terrible and that you've heard
Parsons Green is better and cheaper


9)Finally stick paper in your shower so that the water comes in just a
drizzle. Adjust the hot/cold taps at regular intervals so that you are never
fully satisfied with the temperature. Because of this frustration, shower
infrequently.


These simple but effective instructions should help you fall back into
normal society with the minimum effort.