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- Thats how i roll!!
- Me, Myself, and I
- <----------- Moi and my nephew!!
How ya now??? ...I dunno if you know this but im kind of a big deal!! lol! Will Farrel..what a legend!! Livin up in dub at the mo! Lovin it! In college doin social science...Went to california with the boys and girls from college..we did San Diego, Los angeles, Mexico and Viva Las Vegas!!! California is the business!!!! Back again next summer for J1 baby!! thats about it..leave a comment if ya want!!!
> They say when you die your life flashes before your eyes...so make it worth watchin!!!
-'I wanna be on you!'
-'Go fuck yourselves San Diego'
-'Im sort of a big deal,people know me!'
-You've got a dirty whore mouth that's what you got. Why don't you go back to your home on whore island?'
-Im gonna punch you right in the ovaries!!'
- The Other Half Of Me
- The killers, artic monkeys, red hot chilli peppers, Fergie, nelly furtado, my chemical romance, keane, timbaland, tiesto, eminem, 50cent and some dance music........Pink!!!!!!!!! What a legend!!!!
- Double Jepordy, anchorman, braveheart, hot shots, the wind that shakes the barley, walk the line, along came a spider and any good horror or comedy!!!
- Soccer UP THE REDS!!!
- Scared Of
- slippy when drunk!!! spiders urgh!!! and rats!!
- Happiest When
- Im sleeping....mmmmmm!!!
- I Hate
- Peolpe who are full of themselves and think they're gods gift! People who are afraid to enjoy themselves because of what people might say! People who insult another persons appearance when they clearly cant talk! People who are not open minded! Getting stuck behind a lorry on the road when your in a rush to go somewhere! Being the next in line to get served in a shop and the person infront empties out all their change on the counter and counts every 2c and 5c coins! Queues in general! and Traveling on a bus!!!
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Borat: My country send me to United States to make movie-film. Please, come and see my film. If it not success, I will be execute.
Borat: [to American Audience] We support your war of terror.
Borat: [while driving] Look, there is a woman in a car! Can we follow her and maybe make a sexy time with her?
Driving Instructor: No, no, no, no, no, no!
Borat: A-why not?
Driving Instructor: Because a woman has the right to choose who she has sex with.
Borat: [stunned] WHAT...? You joke?
Driving Instructor: It must be consentual. How 'bout that?
Borat: [turns to Instructor, pauses] Ahahahahaha!
Driving Instructor: That's good, huh?
Borat: [pause] Is not good for me.
Azamat: [arguing with Borat] What's in California?
Borat: [making it up] Pearl Harbor is there. So is Texas.
Borat: What's up with it, Vanilla face? Me and my homie Azamat just parked our slab outside. We're looking for somewhere to post up our Black asses for the night. So, uh, bang bang, skeet skeet, nigga. Just a couple of pimps, no hos.
Oxanna: [as Borat is leaving] If you cheat on me, I will snap off your cock!
Borat: [later] Sadly, I cannot go after Pamela or else my wife will snap off my cock.
Borat: Although Kazakhstan a glorious country, it have a problem, too: economic, social, and Jew.
Borat: You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?
Borat: Pamela! I am not attracted to you anymore!... NOT!
Dinner host: I'm calling the police!
Borat: Why you call police? The retard escape?
Borat: Go, kids! Smash the Jew chick before it hatches!
Borat: What kind of dog is this?
Zookeeper: It's a tortoise.
Borat: Is it a cat in a hat?
Zookeeper: No... it's a tortoise in a shell.
Borat: [narrating] He insist we not fly in case the Jews repeated their attack of 9/11.
Borat: He is my neighbor Nushuktan Tulyiagby. He is pain in my assholes. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock radio, he cannot afford. Great success!
Borat Sagdiyev: What kind of car can I buy that attract woman with shaved vazhïn?
Car Dealership owner: That would be a Corvette. Or a Hummer.
Borat Sagdiyev: I will look on your treasures, gypsy. Is this understood?
Borat: Who is this car that follow us? I wish it didn't follow us anymore.
Driving Instructor: Oh, I don't know.
Borat: Maybe we lose them.
Driving Instructor: No, we better not lose them.
Borat: [yelling at the passing car] Hey, don't look at me. Eat my tits!
Driving Instructor: All right. We'll make a right turn up here.
Borat: Don't look at me like that! I will eat your shit.
Driving Instructor: Hey, don't do that.
Borat: You fuck my mother.
Driving Instructor: Hey, hey. You can't do that.
Borat: No, he do before. He look on me.
Driving Instructor: You can't do that, okay? They're gonna throw us in jail, me with you. You can't...
Borat: Why in jail? He look on me- la-la-la behind.
Driving Instructor: You can't say that.
Borat: When I uh, buy my wife, uhhm, at the start she was uhh, cook good, her vagine work well and she strong on plough. But after three years when she was, uh, fifteen, then she become weak, her voice become deep:
Borat: BORAT, BORAT,
[continuing in normal voice]
Borat: uh, she receive hair on, uhh, chest, and her vagine hang like sleeve of wizard.
Car Dealer: [having nodded along all the way, understanding] Huh.
Car Dealer: Jeez.
Borat: How do I know that, uh, this will not happen with the car?
Car Dealer: [all of a sudden entirely recovered] Chevrolet guarantees you that with a warranty.
Borat: [to Uzbekistan Embassy in New York] Fuck you, Motherfuckers!
0 Comments 310 weeks
First & foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of
yours. My friend,
you always seem to be there when needed. The
perfect post-work cocktail, a
beer at the game, and your even around in the
holidays hidden inside
chocolates as you warm us when we're struck in the
midst of endless family
However, lately I've been wondering about your
intentions. While I want to
believe that you have my best intentions at heart, I feel
that your influence
has led to some unwise consequences:
1. Phone Calls: While I agree with you that
communication is important, I
question the suggestion that any conversation
of substance or necessity
takes place after 2 a.m. Why would you make me call those
ex-boyfriends/girlfriends when I know for a fact they
do not want to hear
from me during the day, let alone all hours of the
2 Eating: Now, you know I love a good meal, but why
do you suggest that I
eat a taco with chili sauce, along with a big italian
meatball and some stale chips (washed down with WINE & topped off with
a Kit Kat after a few
cheese curls & chilli cheese fries)? I'm an eclectic eater,
but I think you
went to far this time.
3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me
that I need to do more
yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer
the issue home by
causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary,
and the black and blue
marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next
day are beyond me.
Similarly, It should never take me more than 45
seconds to get the front
door key into the lock.
4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop. This
is getting ridiculous.
I know a little penance for our previous evenings
debauchery may be in
order, but the 3pm hangover immobility is completely
unacceptable. My entire
day is shot. I ask that if proper precautions are
taken (water,vitamin B,
bread products, aspirin), prior to going to
sleep/passing out face down
on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn, the
hangover should be minimal and
in no way interfere with my daily activities.
Alcohol, I have enoyed our friendship for some years
now and would like to
ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been
the invoker of great
stories, the prevocation of much laughter and the
needed companion when I
just don't know what to do with the extra money in my
In order to continue this friendship, I ask you that you
carefully review my
grievances above and address them immediately. I will
look for an answer no
later than Thursday 3pm (pre-happy hour) on your
possible solutions and
hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.
Thank you, Your biggest fan!
0 Comments 340 weeks
Whats your full name?: Joseph pauric Holohan
Whats your nickname?: Hoolie,joey or hoe!
What size shoes are you?: 9
How tall are you?: not sure...5'8??
What features do you get complimented on the most?: my eyes or smile
Do you think your cute?: ehhhh
Hair colour?: black
Favourite drink?: Lucozade citrus clear (my hangover cure!!)
Favourite alcoholic drink?: mmmm...bulmers or vodka and red bull
Favourite month of the year?: june
Favourite food?: Chicken chibatta from supermacs..mmmm!
Favourite colour?: blue
Do you have more girl mates or boy mates?: emmmm...mixture!
Do you have any piercings?: had the top and bottom of my left ear done but dont wear them anymore! Have my eyebrow and nipple done at the mo!
Whos your best friend?: just have close friends
You're a flirt?: i can be!
You like someone at the moment?: yep!
Can you keep secrets?: haha! can i what???
Have you ever been hurt in a relationship?: yep
Are you willing to try new things?: oh yeah!! just waiting for my chance!
Have you cheated on a test?: who hasent?
What are you wearing now?: a nike hoodie and jeans
What are you listening to?: fleetwood mac
How are you feeling?: tired...and wondering why im bothering to do this!
What was the last movie you saw?: Pursuit of happyness!
What you hoping for?: where do i start?
What did you dream about last?: that i was being mugged!
What did you last eat?: a pizza
Are you too shy to ask someone out?: nah
Scary movie or happy ending?: scary movie all the way!
Summer or winter?: summer!
Relationships or one night stands?: both have their advantages! ;-)
0 Comments 340 weeks
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