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- Watchu gonnna do wiv alll dat juunk??
- Me, Myself, and I
- So ummmmmm listennnnn!!!!. . . . . . .
- The Other Half Of Me
GUURL YOU IS HEFTY!!
- i once had a pair of camoflage bottoms. . . but i could never find them!
- How do u catch a uniqe rabbit??.....U-niqe up behind them!
- Whats ten feet tall pink and smelly?? Duh pig on stilts
- Scared Of
- Whats the only part of a vegetable you cant eat?? The wheel chair
REASONS TO BE GLAD WE HAVE DAIBETES
*In a group hostage situation you can be sure you'll be among the first to be released, faster than you can jingle your MedicAlert bracelet and say "hey, does anyone have a dink? I'm feeling thirsty ..."
*You can speak with some authority on the subject of diabetes - unlike say, the subject of the current up-to-date situation in the Middle East - and wow friends and family with statistics and lots of complex, polysyllabic words like "hypoglycaemia"
*Rort the system and use it to get out of tricky university exams
*When friends are arguing about where to go out to eat, you can say "I have to eat NOW" loudly - which usually means that they will exchange worried looks and hurry to the restaurant of your choice, little knowing that really you were just hungry and didn't feel like Thai
*Who wants a fully functional pancreas anyway? It's so common.
*Even though you may have no letters from that secret admirer, you'll always have diabetes-related junk mail so you can know at least that you'll have something to pull out of the mailbox in case neighbours are watching
*You get to finely hone your swearing abilities with all those times when your BSL isn't what you expected
*Enjoy the giddy feeling of living dangerously ALL THE TIME: "Bungy-jumping? A walking tour in Zaire? PAH! I have DIABETES!"
*Always good emotional blackmail in a family fight (I've heard other people do this ...)
*When annoying men ask you "why do you always drink Diet Coke? You’re so image- conscious. Girls are always worried about their weight.." you can reply with "I have diabetes" and watch in delight as they turn bright red and mumble an apology.
*Thanks to (occasional of course) hypos and very high blood sugars, you can experience unique body sensations and hallucinatory adventures without the use of illegal, expensive drugs: a cheaper night out!
*Should you ever meet that special someone and s/he happens to have diabetes, you'll always have something to talk about during those Awkward Silences. You can also employ unique flirting techniques: "I'll show you my injection bruises if you show me yours ..."
*Should you ever NOT meet that special someone on a blind date or otherwise, just pull out your handy drug kit and excuse yourself for a well needed "fix" in the toilet.
*Getting a tattoo is a breeze - it just feels like a few more injections than normal (and yes I do have one!)
*Amuse yourself by trying to predict exactly what your BSL will be after that piece of sugar-coated mud cake, with honey and ice cream on the side.
0 Comments 218 weeks
things i hate!!!
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fuck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and chang e the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass! 5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 8 euro to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor. 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it?
5 Comments 350 weeks
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