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- Male, 25, 15
- from Dunoon/Dundee...or generally where the stuff is!!!
- I am Married
- Profile views: 5,032
- Member since: March 2006
- Last active: 9/16/09
- Photos of Mr Doonski (1)
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- Cooler than your Mother!!!
- Me, Myself, and I
- I am a legend, much like toast and Irn-Bru. I live in Dunoon which is on the west coast of Scotland, and as far as I'm concerned the only side of Scotland. I study in Dundee at Uni! Which is awesome cos it involves bummin round my flat eatin chicken and watchin inspector morse. Many things have happened since the dawn of time..I go for a banana bang every morning..insert innuendo here..and I now have to do my honours project. I have a new improved double bed and have discovered the delights of making fun of people with OCD (Scott & Lorraine you know who you are)...I have switched from using gillette to king of shaves..I like the tingle what can I say..oh and mud masks from tesco..one word for them...no not homosexual..invigorating.. I have been subjected to bullying recently...all im sayin if a hot waitress offered you a human burger for free youd be tempted. My new Pc is a beast..I turned my back and it tried to eat a rainforest!!!
- Rap music....cos I live in da ghetto, well actually its called hilltown but someone did shit in our shower last year....and i do possess kevlar boxers for those Hilltown drive-bys!...awesome!...Ahh Trevor McDonald what a crazy mofo!
- Anythin that takes the rip outta minorities or gays....Kiddin comedy and horror the more boxers i go thru the better...except ma kevlar ones they r a bitch to wash! Lost and the almighty scrubs....jd is ma role model!
- Sports/My Mission in Life
- Football..cos anythin else is schecht...c'mon the gers. Up for a wee game of pool too! and Air Hockey in the scum union! Air hockey for abertay!!!!
My mission in life is too provide peace and dignity to all that is why I will be giving see-through bags to asians for free...like in the program travels with my beard!
- Scared Of
- Homosexuals and anythin that will kill me or worse make me explode! People with huge foreheads. Pimps, The "no more boobies" threat....sends chills down me! My impending death....oooh and Vegetables.
- Happiest When
- Drinkin Bru...or sleepin or generally bummin around the flat in ma harris tweeds! Playin pro ev and footy man!....To be honest it doesnt take much to make me laugh...i wet myself wen i found out steevs nickname on the team website was the flyin squirrel!....And seein as she was kind enough to mention me(briefly) on her page..spendin time with the misses. "Hey dear"
- Currently i-rate about..
- People who think Downie is ma first name!
Fat folk. People who invite themselves round to your flat even tho uve tried to tell them yr not in but r secretly hidin in the bathroom and then they complain that its a mess. Knobs who play games online then insist that im strange cos im not master of some dwarf leather worker who makes shoes for underpriveledged kids. People who complain that there new computer is too slow when im runnin ivor the engine! Fat people who ask if uve put on weight because its minus 10 outside and u have 2 jumpers on...Stop looking at me like im a fuckin auderve and get yr fat arse off my seat cheeky bitch! HD-DVD/BluRay...i cudnt care less, im watchin the film on a 9 inch tv form 6 feet away i dnt know if im watchin morgan freeman or jessica alba! Russell brand get a hair cut u willy. People who stand still on escalators...there called legs pissin use them! My TV. It keeps goin off."It just needs to warm up" its not a pissin olympic athelete its an arsehole!
- Recent Hobbies! Well really activities!!!
- Recently myself and Mutt with some help from Pyr0 "I'm Not a fucking Oompa Loompa" Phr34k, have devised well more stumbled across a fun game which involves hitting the frosties freebie with a massive torch! It tends to shoot randomly around the room and was fuckin fantastic till I boaby tapped myself which almost made me a eunuch!!! OOOOhhhh and even more recently nipple rubbing....mmmmmmmm......Unio
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
(e) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.
28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition o
0 Comments 313 weeks
Downie....(I am referring to myself in the 3rd person in a vain attempt to summarise myself movie style...anyhoo)...Downie was in fact on the bebo homepage yesterday and is now something of a J list celebrity.....im fed up of this hold on.....1st person...i am actually tremendously ecstatically delighted...and celebrated by eating 5 pancakes with chocolate and banana.....and treating myself to a nuts....my celebretiness has yet to reveal any huge beneifits no one has bought me a car and as of yet no major tv broadcasters have asked me to appear on their shows...except dales supermarket sweep...i declined to go on that.
4 Comments 335 weeks
Today I was invited to accompany the misses and linz to perth so that lor could point at a fuckin hospital!.....The moral of the story is that i got so wet and cold that for all i know I may have left a bollock in perth?!?!? At least I got a burger. So now im campaigning for a nurses minibus....sign petition below:
0 Comments 336 weeks
- No.....but the mental images have scarred me for life
- Ultimate Scrubs 10 Taken
- Have you read my blogs and r u up to date? This one is serious!!! 19 Taken
- How well do you know Downie the Bru-Drinker? 23 Taken
- How well do you know stuff? 25 Taken
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