Artery------------------------The study of fine paintings.
Barium------------------------What you do when CPR fails.
Cesarean Section--------------A district in Rome.
Colic-------------------------A sheep dog.
Coma--------------------------A punctuation mark.
Congenital--------------------Friendly.
Dilate------------------------To live long.
Fester------------------------Quicker.
GI Series---------------------Baseball game between teams of soldiers.
Grippe------------------------A suitcase.
Hangnail----------------------A coat hook.
Medical staff-----------------A doctor's cane.
Minor operation---------------Coal digging.
Morbid------------------------A higher offer.
Nitrate-----------------------Lower than the day rate.
Node--------------------------Was aware of.
Organic-----------------------Church musician.
Outpatient--------------------Person who has fainted.
Post-operative----------------A letter carrier.
Protein-----------------------In favor of young people.
Secretion---------------------Hiding anything.
Serology----------------------Study of English knighthood.
Tablet-------------------------A small table.
Tumor-------------------------An extra pair.
Urine-------------------------Opposite of you're out.
Varicose veins----------------Veins which are very close together.
Benign------------------------What you be after you be eight.

TAKE THE FIRST LETTER IN YOUR 1ST NAME:
A: I grinded my ass on
B: I bit
C: I sucked
D: I kissed
E: I rubbed
F: I smelt
G: I did anal with
H: I blew
I: I wanked
J: I shoved......... up my ass
K: I tossed off to
L: I licked
M: I tickled
N: I munched
O: I came all over
P: I deepthroated
Q: I twisted
R: I gobbed on
S: I chucked up on
T: I shat on
U: I walked on
V: I kicked
W: I played with
X: I fucked
Y: I did 69er with
Z: I glared at

:TAKE DA DAY YOU WER BORN ON:
1: The Queen
2: A horse
3: A dildo
4: A butt plug
5: A condom
6: A car exhaust
7: Michael Jackson
8: A male striper
9: A pikey
10: An ugly fat kid
11: A Sheep
12: Some Twat Twine
13: Marty Whelan
14: My dad
15: A Cucumber
16: A plaster
17: A paint brush
18: My mums used tampon (on a heavy day)
19: The midget up my ass
20: A Flute
21: An old man
22: A fish
23: The Dubliners
24: A carrot
25: A cornhole
26: my Knob
27: A pillow
28: A Zebra
29: Some used bog-roll
30: Some Y- fronts with skids
31: Enrique Englesias

:NOW TAKE THE 1ST LETTER OF UR LAST NAME
A: until my Dad walked in
B: and now it's my hobby
C: Because it gets me horny
D: While I got bumraped
E: Because I was lonely
F: For a movie
G: Because I wanted to
H: Because it was dry
I: For a scratch card
J: To get onto Winning Streak
K: Because my mum said it would turn her on
L: And loved it
M: For a pet monkey
N: Because nobody loves me
O: For a packet of Tayto
P: To be mad
Q: So I could get a sex change
R: For a hob nob
S: To win X-factor
T: All for pleasure
U: For a laugh
V: Just because I can
W: For £100000
X: To skip school
Y: Because I thought my hair looked cool
Z: So people will talk about me

WAT DID YOU DO?? WRITE A COMMENT N LET ME KNOW!!!!

1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).

7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.