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- What The World Is Waiting For
- Me, Myself, and I
- Under the iron bridge we kissed
And although I ended up with sore lips
It just wasn't like the old days anymore
No, it wasn't like those days
Am I still ill?
Oh ... Am I still ill?
- The Other Half Of Me
I Wish You'd Delete Yourself
- Everything Else
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I'd like to dedicate this space to a group of people who hold a very special place in my heart. They are my friends. No I havn't just recently found myself and have decided to come out of the closet, however there have been some strange things coming out of Jakes closet recently, but thats another story. No I feel I should make the world aware about a group that has got more bullies, bitches and big heads than a swingers party at the Campbell residence. It has often been said, admittedly by Simpson when he's havering shite to that Gareth from The Office look-a-like in Orange, that the role we each play amongst the group is quite similar to the one we played as fresh faced youngsters on the football pitches of local parks, or in Campbell and Muhsin's case, in fatty's garden as there are bigga boys outside Rhynd. Yes it's true, take Sean Muhsin for example. For anyone who has ever played in the same team as him will know that there isn't a blade of grass he doesn't cover, an apsolute workhorse, gives OneTen for 90 minutes. Within the group he organises every night out, books every city, as long as its ok with Lummy, sorts out the travel lodge, and gives every player an around the clock update via phone. Never has someone been so efficient for the team since we asked Super Scoreboard Steph what the Gannochy Boys under 11's score was. Due to his superb workrate he has quite fittingly been appointed Team Captain. Well done Sean. I feel I must move on to the member that I have (unfortunately) known the longest. Yes since the ripe old age of 4 myself and David Lumsden have stood shoulder to shoulder as good friends, who ultimately bitch about each other as soon as the other's back is turned. We have seen group memeber come and go, and we have had many an eventful journey. Lummy's role on the pitch can only be best described as the midfield mystro, however he does lack pace. This can only be best described as when we had been tied up and raped in Magaluuf, and as a reward we got a free bar for 1 whole hour, as we scrapped amongst each other to get as many drinks as possible, Lummy took it upon himself to get 1 Blue WKD and asked every1 if they wanted to go 4 a dance. Another flaw can also be the sheer greed of the man. If you pass him the ball he'l only give it back if he's in trouble. However like I said he is a midfield mystro and there's no denyin if u'r on a night out with him, which is likely cause he's an apsolute slut, he's likely to put in a match winning performance. I feel I should move on to Mark Wilkie. I'm gonna cut straight to the chase with this boy, he has a fat fetish, there i've said it. Wilkie is the silky winger who you never know what you're gonna get from. He is also as reliable straight down the middle. Let it be known however, he is a big game player. Mark has shown this reliable quality on his many nights out. He is reliable in the fact that he'l drink all ur Vodca, argue over taxi money and horse you out of the travel lodge bed. However this is not an annoying feature as Wilkie is the nicest guy in the world, and is liked by the whole group, which would make it hard to say who he bonds with the most. If it came down to a split decision as to who his partner in crime was it would have to be Rushkinov. There just unseperable. Where would this team be without someone holding the line on the left side of the park. There can only be one man who fits the mould, and has his fitted trousers moulded onto him and thats Jake Dunk. Theres no one more reliable than Mr Dunk himself. He's sure of a testimonial dinner for the years of service he has put into the club, and once a strong favourite for club captain....in 1st yr. No im not gonna slag Jake here, for the plain and simple reason that he's one of my only allies in the squad. Although it does sometimes feel like the pair of us are Iraq. We fight the United States of Muhsin with apsolutly no armour and end up fighting amongst ourselves. But in reality thats only cause
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