>> Q. Why don't they have Christmas at D.C.U? A. They can't find a
>>virgin and three wise men.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. How do they separate the men from the boys at Trinity?
>>A. With a restraining order
>>--------------------------------------
>>A severe storm rumbled through Carlow last week and destroyed the
>>entire town: ?10 worth of damage was reported.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Carlow
>>campus?
>>A. An undergraduate degree.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. What's the first thing a U.C.D girl does when she wakes up in
>>the morning?
>>A. Walks home.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. How can you tell if a Trinity student is heterosexual?
>>A. He can outrun his roommate!
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. What does a IT student call a D.C.U student after graduation?
>>A. Boss. (IT = Institute of Technology, not info tech)
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. Why do they sell so many button-fly jeans in Carlow?
>>A. Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. Did you hear that the library at Trinity burned down?
>>A. Naturally, the students were very upset....some of the books
>>weren't coloured-in yet.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. Why do Trinity graduates put a copy of their diploma in the
>>window of their vehicles?
>>A. So they can park in handicap spaces.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. How do you get a IT grad off your front porch?
>>A. Pay him for the pizza.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. What do tornadoes and graduates from IT's have in common?
>>A. They both end up in trailer parks.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. How many Athlone IT students does it take to change a lightbulb?
>>A. None - Westmeath looks better in the dark.
>>-------------------------------------
>>Q. How many Trinity students does it take to change a lightbulb?
>>A. One - he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. How many UL students does it take to change a lightbulb?
>>A. Three. One to change the lightbulb and two to figure out how to
>>get high off the old one.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. Did you hear An Post just recalled their latest stamps?
>>A. They had pictures of Limerick players on them and people
>>couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. What is the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
>>Limerick fan in the road?
>>A. There are skid marks in front of the dog.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. If you see a Limerick fan on a bike why should you never swerve
>>to hit him?
>>A. It might be your bike.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. What do Limerick fans and sperm have in common?
>>A. One in 3,000,000 has a chance of winning an All Ireland.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. What do you have when 100 English fans are buried up to their
>>neck in sand?
>>A. Not enough sand.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. What do Cork men use for birth control?
>>A. Their personalities.
>>--------------------------------------
>>Q. You are trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake,and a
>>Kerryman.You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
>>A. Shoot the Kerry man...twice.

theres a PLAY BOY party in barcode leavin results nite. im arrngin tickets for anyone whos interested. mail me ur number and ill get the organisers to text u all the info. should be a gud nite!!!!!!!!!!!!

she called me to get my phone number.

she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said
"concentrate."

she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

she tried to drown a fish.

she thought a quarterback was a refund.

she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

she tripped over a cordless phone.

she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

she studied for a blood test.

she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home