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- Me, Myself, and I
- Well hum... so much to say and so little space! i love playin sport mostly rugby well only rugby i am also in the rdf which is class we get to mess around with guns and stuff! i love going out and havin a good time which usaly involves some kind of drink but not all the time! like just listnin to music and stuff! dont like doing homework or any kind of work for that matter! Ask super valu they fired me for it!! Basterds!! i dono what else to say this is pritty hard! i take back what i said at the top! i just like havin fun messin around usual stuff!but i have to say there is nothin i do more often than make a fool of myself! realy i think i have a medical problem but thats who i am and people have to take me for what i am! and the same will be done for you!
- Linkin park, hixxy, eminem some rap lots of dance metal a mix of everything the list gose for ages!
- wind talkers, Star ship trupers and cinderella man hum Oh the house of wax!!! its not a great film but sombody knows why its there! um there is lots of others i am just to lazy to put em down! ;-)
- Rugby and just staying fit jogging etc.........
- Scared Of
- nothin that i know of i will tell you if something comes up
- Happiest When and jokes about my pastime
- partying sleeping eating! in that order! and just when i am around people who i can have a laugh with! oh and when i am playin well in rugby and makin Shit out of the other team! and during the summer!Signs that you are too drunk would be... You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Job interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not! Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem! You can focus better with one eye closed. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar. Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops. Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner! Mosquitoes catch a buzz after at
- Drinks i like
- LOve miller!!! can drink it all night! um fat frog, wicked well anythig realy! aslong as it tasts ok and gets the job done! after that i will drink anytrhing!!
- embarising moments
- Well there is a few to chose from! one that sticks in my mind and my eye is when sombody who will remain nameless not only managed to poke me in the eye with an umbrela but some poor Jap who i not thinkin started sayin stuff to and well made a fool of my self! another i was in the cinema and i put my feet up on the seat infront of me and after a while i streched and kicked some guy in the face pritty hard!! another one last one but this is a good one! i was playin strip poker and well i lost a few hands and ran out of stuff to take off and sombody decided to take my clothes! funny now but not at the time!!
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Applying for a Job at the CIA
A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some applicants through the background checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible choices down to two men and a woman, but only one position was available.
The day came for the final test to see which peson would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men administering the test took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow our instructions whatever the circumstances," they explained. "Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The man looked horrified and said, "You can't be serious! I could never shoot my wife!" "Well," said the CIA man, "you're definitely not the right man for this job then."
So they brought the second man to the same door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances," they explained to the second man. "Inside you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her." The second man looked a bit shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his eyes. "I tried to shoot her; I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."
"No," the CIA man replied, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her to the same door to the same room and handed her the same gun. "We must be sure that you will follow instructions no matter what the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill him." The woman took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start firing, one shot after another for 13 shots. Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard screaming, rashing, and banging on the walls. This went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.
The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat the son of a bitch to death with the chair!"
The Shiny-Walled Box Thingie
An Amish boy and his father were visiting a nearby mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny silver walls that moved apart and back together again by themselves.
The lad asked, "What is this, father?"
The father (having never seen an elevator) responded, "I have no idea what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched as small circles lit up above the walls.
The walls opened up again and a beautiful twenty-four-year-old woman stepped out.
The father looked at his son anxiously and said, "Go get your mother."
Q. Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
A. Because when you take it off, you wonder where her tits went!
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
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