1 INT. UNCLE BOB'S PANCAKE HOUSE - MORNING
Eight men dressed in BLACK SUITS, sit around a table at a
breakfast cafe. They are MR. WHITE, MR. PINK, MR. BLUE,
MR. BLONDE, MR. ORANGE, MR. BROWN, NICE GUY EDDIE CABOT,
and the big boss, JOE CABOT. Most are finished eating and
are enjoying coffee and conversation. Joe flips through a
small address book. Mr. Pink is telling a long and
involved story about Madonna.
MR. PINK
"Like a Virgin" is all about a
girl who digs a guy with a big
dick. The whole song is a
metaphor for big dicks.
MR. BLUE
No it's not. It's about a girl
who is very vulnerable and she's
been fucked over a few times.
Then she meets some guy who's
really sensitive--
MR. PINK
--Whoa...whoa...time out Greenbay.
Tell that bullshit to the
tourists.
JOE
(looking through his
address book)
Toby...who the fuck is Toby?
Toby...Toby...think...think...
think...
MR. PINK
It's not about a nice girl who
meets a sensitive boy. Now
granted that's what "True Blue" is
about, no argument about that.
MR. ORANGE
Which one is "True Blue?"
NICE GUY EDDIE
You don't remember "True Blue?"
That was a big ass hit for
Madonna. Shit, I don't even
follow this Tops In Pops shit, and
I've at least heard of "True
Blue."
MR. ORANGE
Look, asshole, I didn't say I
ain't heard of it. All I asked
was how does it go? Excuse me
for not being the world's biggest
Madonna fan.
MR. BROWN
I hate Madonna.
MR. BLUE
I like her early stuff. You know,
"Lucky Star," "Borderline" - but
once she got into her "Papa Don't
Preach" phase, I don't know, I
tuned out.
MR. PINK
Hey, fuck all that, I'm
making a point here. You're gonna
make me lose my train
of thought.
JOE
Oh fuck, Toby's that little china
girl.
MR. WHITE
What's that?
JOE
I found this old address book in a
jacket I ain't worn in a coon's
age. Toby what? What the fuck
was her last name?
MR. PINK
Where was I?
MR. ORANGE
You said "True Blue" was about a
nice girl who finds a sensitive
fella. But "Like a Virgin" was a
metaphor for big dicks.
MR. PINK
Let me tell ya what "Like a
Virgin"'s about. It's about some
cooze who's a regular fuck
machine.
I mean all the time, morning, day,
night, afternoon, dick, dick,
dick, dick, dick,
dick, dick, dick, dick, dick,
dick.
MR. BLUE
How many dicks was that?
MR. WHITE
A lot.
MR. PINK
Then one day she meets a John
Holmes motherfucker, and it's
like, whoa baby. This mother
fucker's like Charles Bronson in
"The Great Escape." He's diggin
tunnels. Now she's gettin this
serious dick action, she's feelin
something she ain't felt since
forever. Pain.
JOE
Chew? Toby Chew? No.
MR. PINK
It hurts. It hurts her. It
shouldn't hurt. Her pussy should
be Bubble-Yum by now. But when
this cat fucks her, it hurts. It
hurts like the first time. The
pain is reminding a fuck machine
what is was like to be a virgin.
Hence, "Like a Virgin."
The fellas crack up.
JOE
Wong?
MR. PINK
Fuck you, wrong. I'm right! What
the fuck do you know about it
anyway? You're still listening to
Jerry-fucking-Vale.
JOE
Not wrong, dumb ass, Wong! You
know, like the Chinese name?
Mr. White snatches the address book from Joe's hand. They
fight, but they're not really mad at each other.
MR. WHITE
Give me this fucking thing.
JOE
What the fuck do you think you're
doin? Give me my book back!
MR. WHITE
I'm sick of fuckin hearin it Joe,
I'll give it back when we leave.
JOE
Whaddaya mean, give it to me when
we leave, give it back now.
MR. WHITE
For the past fifteen minutes now,
you've just been droning on with
names. "Toby...Toby...Toby...
Toby Wong...Toby Wong...Toby
Chung...fuckin Charlie Chan." I
got Madonna's big dick outta my
right ear, and Toby Jap I-don't-
know-what, outta my left.
JOE
What do you care?
MR. WHITE
When you're annoying as hell, I
care a lot.
JOE
Give me my book.
MR. WHITE
You gonna put it away?
JOE
I'm gonna do whatever I wanna do
with it.
MR. WHITE
Well,

26 EXT. DENNY'S - NIGHT
We see through the window of the restaurant Freddy slide
into the booth across from Holdaway. Freddy's doing a lot
of talking, but we can't hear what they're saying.
27 INT. DENNY'S - NIGHT
FREEZE FRAME ON HOLDAWAY
We are frozen on a MEDIUM CU of Holdaway listening to
Freddy. We HEAR RESTAURANT NOISE and Freddy OFF SCREEN.

FREDDY (O.S.)
Nice Guy Eddie tells me Joe wants
to meet me. He says I should just
hang around my apartment and wait
for a phone call. Well after
waiting three goddamn days by the
fuckin phone, he calls me last
night and says Joe's ready, and
he'll pick me up in fifteen
minutes.

The freeze frame ENDS. Holdaway comes suddenly up to
speed and says:

HOLDAWAY
Woo all picked you up?

From here to end we cut back and forth.

FREDDY
Nice Guy. When we got to the
bar...

HOLDAWAY
...What bar?

FREDDY
The Boots and Socks in Gardena.
When we got there, I met Joe and a
guy named Mr. White. It's a phony
name. My name's Mr. Orange.

HOLDAWAY
You ever seen this motherfucker
before?

FREDDY
Who, Mr. White?

HOLDAWAY
Yeah.

FREDDY
No, he ain't familiar. He ain't
one of Cabot's soldiers either.
He's gotta be from outta town.
But Joe knows him real well.

HOLDAWAY
How can you tell?

FREDDY
The way they talk to each other.
You can tell they're buddies.

HOLDAWAY
Did the two of you talk?

FREDDY
Me and Mr. White?

HOLDAWAY
Yeah.

FREDDY
A little.

HOLDAWAY
What about?

FREDDY
The Brewers.

HOLDAWAY
The Milwaukee Brewers?

FREDDY
Yeah. They had just won the night
before, and he made a killing off
'em.

HOLDAWAY
Well, if this crook's a Brewers
fan, his ass has gotta be from
Wisconsin. And I'll bet you
everything from a diddle-eyed Joe
to a damned-if-I-know, that in
Milwaukee they got a sheet on this
Mr. White motherfucker's ass. I
want you to go through the mugs of
guys from old Milwaukee with a
history of armed robbery, and put
a name to that face.

Holdaway takes a big bite out of his burger.

HOLDAWAY
(with his mouth full)
What kinds questions did Cabot
ask?

FREDDY
Where I was from, who I knew, how
I knew Nice Guy, had I done time,
shit like that.

Holdaway's talked enough, he's eating his burger now. He
motions for Freddy to elaborate.

FREDDY
He asked me if I ever done armed
robbery before. I read him my
credits. I robbed a few gas and
sips, sold some weed, told him
recently I held the shotgun while
me and another guy pulled down a
poker game in Portland.

CAMERA MOVES from a MEDIUM on Freddy to a CU.

HOLDAWAY (O.S.)
Didja use the commode story?

FREDDY
Fuckin-A. I tell it real good,
too.

28 INT. MEN'S ROOM - L.A. TRAIN STATION - NIGHT
Freddy and Holdaway at one of their many rendezvous.
Holdaway wears an extra large Lakers sweatshirt. Freddy
sits on one of the sinks, wearing his high school jacket,
looking at pieces of paper stapled together.

FREDDY
What's this?

HOLDAWAY
It's a scene. Memorize it.

FREDDY
What?

HOLDAWAY
A undercover cop has got to be
Marlon Brando. To do this job you
got to be a great actor. You got
to be naturalistic. You got to be
naturalistic as hell. If you
ain't a great actor you're a bad
actor, and bad acting is bull shit
in this job.

FREDDY
(referring to the
papers)
But what is this?

HOLDAWAY
It's a amusing anecdote about a
drug deal.

FREDDY
What?

HOLDAWAY
Something funny that happened to
you while you were doing a job.

FREDDY
I gotta memorize all this shit?

HOLDAWAY
It's like a joke. You remember
what's important, and the rest you
make your own. The only way to
make it your own is to keep sayin
it, and sayin it, and sayin it,
and sayin it, and sayin it.

FREDDY
I can do that.

HOLDAWAY
The things you gotta remember are
the details. It's the details
that sell your story. Now this
story takes place in this men's
room. So you gotta know the
details about this men's room.

EDDIE
Mr. Orange, why don't you tell me
what really happened?

VOICE (OS)
Why? It'll just be more bullshit.

Eddie steps out of his C.U. and we see Joe Cabot standing
in the warehouse doorway. He walks into the room.

JOE
(pointing to Mr.
Orange)
This man set us up.

CAMERA does a 360 around the men.

EDDIE
Daddy, I'm sorry, I don't know
what's happening.

JOE
That's okay, Eddie, I do.

MR. WHITE
(to Joe)
What the fuck are you talking
about?

JOE
(pointing to Mr.
Orange)
That piece of shit. Workin with
the cops.

MR. WHITE MR. PINK EDDIE
What?

JOE
I said this lump of shit is workin
with the LAPD.

MR. ORANGE'S POV
Looking up from the floor at everybody.
Joe looks down at Mr. Orange.

JOE
Aren't you?

MR. ORANGE (OS)
I don't have the slightest fuckin
idea what you're talkin about.

MR. WHITE
(very calmly to Joe)
Joe, I don't know what you think
you know, but you're wrong.

JOE
Like hell I am.

MR. WHITE
(very calmly)
Joe, trust me on this, you've made
a mistake. He's a good kid. I
understand you're hot, you're
super-fuckin pissed. We're all
real emotional. But you're
barking up the wrong tree. I know
this man, and he wouldn't do that.

JOE
You don't know jack shit. I do.
This rotten bastard tipped off the
cops and got Mr. Brown and Mr.
Blue killed.

MR. PINK
Mr. Blue's dead?

JOE
Dead as Dillinger.

EDDIE
The motherfucker killed Vic.

MR. WHITE
How do you know all this?

JOE
He was the only one I wasn't a
hundred percent on. I should have
my fucking head examined for goin
forward when I wasn't a hundred
percent. But he seemed like a
good kid, and I was impatient and
greedy and all the things that
fuck you up.

MR. WHITE
(screaming)
That's your proof?

JOE
You don't need proof when you got
instinct. I ignored it before,
but not no more.

He WHIPS out a revolver and aims it at Mr. Orange.
Mr. White brings his .45 up at Joe.
Eddie and Mr. Pink are shook awake by the flash of
firearms.
Eddie raises his gun, pointing it at Mr. White.

EDDIE
Have you lost your fucking mind?
Put your gun down!

Mr. Pink fades into the B.G., wanting no part of this.

MR. WHITE
Joe, you're making a terrible
mistake I can't let you make.

EDDIE
Stop pointing your fuckin gun at
daddy!

Joe, never taking his eyes off Mr. Orange.

JOE
Don't worry, Eddie. Me and Larry
have been friends a long time, he
ain't gonna shoot. We like each
other too much.

MR. WHITE
Joe, if you kill that man, you die
next. Repeat, if you kill that
man, you die next!

We get many different angles of the Mexican standoff.

MEDIUMS ON EVERYBODY
Mr. Orange holding his belly, looking from left to right.
Joe pointing down on Mr. Orange. Not taking his eyes off
him.
Mr. White pointing at Joe, looking like he's ready to
start firing any minute.
Eddie scared shitless for his father, gun locked on Mr.
White.
Mr. Pink walking backwards away from the action.
Nobody says nothing.
FOUR SHOT
of guys ready for violence. Mr. Pink in the B.G.

MR. PINK
C'mon, guys, nobody wants this.
We're supposed to me fuckin
professionals!

Joe raises his head to Mr. White.

JOE
Larry, I'm gonna kill him.

MR. WHITE
Goddamn you, Joe, don't make me do
this!

JOE
Larry, I'm askin you to trust me
on this.

MR. WHITE
Don't ask me that.

JOE
I'm not askin, I'm betting.

Joe's eyes go back to Mr. Orange.

EDDIE
Daddy, don't!

Joe FIRES three times, HITTING Mr. Orange with every one.
Mr. White SHOOTS Joe twice in the face. Joe brings his
hands up to his face, screaming, and falls to the ground.
Eddie FIRES at Mr. White, HITTING him three times in the
chest.
Mr. White brings his gun around on Eddie and SHOOTS him.
The two men FALL to their knees, FIRING at each other.
Eddie COLLAPSES, dead.
Joe's dead.
Mr. Orange lies perfectly still, except for his chest
heaving. The only SOUND we hear is his loud breathing.
Mr. White is SHOT