Everything you do is "in 2..."
*You need to have a small pushy person around telling you what to do all the time.
*You can get up, get dressed and get out of the house before your eyes are fully open.
*The phrase "cox box" doesn't make you giggle.
*You believe the world wouldn't exist without lycra.
*You only recognise your friends from behind.
*You stick water bottles in your shorts for no reason at all.
*You feel naked without clothing enough for 10 people on.
*You believe all authority figures carry a megaphone.
*You sit in class leaning to your rigger.
*Half your body is bigger than the other.
*You blame bad moods on "the balance".
*Your friends need a rowing translator to decipher your language.
*You can wear the same thing every morning for a week and not think twice.
*You think sleeping late is waking up at 8:30.
*Everything's a race: you walk quickly to class, just so you can pass people
*When you sit down, you look for the tie-in shoes.
*You constantly check the tightness of nuts in handrails, chairs, door handles, etc.
*You bring up the beauty of the dawn, and people give you blank stares.
*Overhearing people talk about how little sleep they got causes you to smirk.
*You admire the man who wears boxers under his lycra much more than a woman wearing a g-string under hers.
*You watch videos together, and it's ok to say "She's looking really long."
*You dress and undress one-handed so you don't have to take your hand off the blade.
*Every time you sit in a chair you are mildly surprised to discover that it doesn't slide back and forth.
* Your friends comment on how silent you are when you eat.

1. Thou shalt not hesitate at the breakdown, but be mighty to get your rightful ball; for though it is written that the meek shall inherit the earth, this is truly was a poor translation. The meek shall be trampled into the dirt is more to the point.

2. Thou shalt not speak profanely of the Whistler, nor question the purity of his birth, even though he be blind to transgressions by devils on the other team at the ruck and the maul, and whistles them not.

3. Thou shalt not smite an opponent with a clenched fist, yeah, even in retaliation; for it is written that the Whistler and the Flag Waver shall assuredly miss the cowardly first punch, only to see the avenging second. Believeth that what goeth around shall surely cometh, and verily, evil men will be found at the bottom of rucks.

4. Thou should not kiss thy teammate on the mouth when he scores; for such is an abomination unto God, especially kisses in tongues, unless you play football with the round white ball and thus it is expected.

5. Thou shalt not take the Word of the Coach in vain, for blessed is the Word of the Coach. Instead, wonder at his mighty wisdom and sticketh to His Game Plan, lest the Coach acquaint you with his disciples coaching in the lower grades.

6. Thou shalt not chip nor kick for touch if thou be a prop or wear any jersey number below that of 7; for this is an abomination unto the Coach, and surely you will be His at training, perhaps everlasting.

7. Thou shalt not run across the field with ball in hand, but runneth straight ahead upfield; for it is written that the touchline is the best defender.

8. Thou shalt not kick the ball to thine enemies unless it bounceth; for the Spirit of the bounce of the Ball may cause confusion unto them, and if thy heart be pure, make it bounceth back unto you.

9. Thou shalt not pass the ball to a teammate about to be smashed by the mighty enemy, unless he owes you money, or has rodgered someone dear to your heart, in which case all is forgiven.

10. Thou shalt not vomit on thy teammates after the game, for this is unmanly, and they could do it unto you.

Virginity like bubble, one prick, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other mans well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.