Tho Shalt Always Kill


Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile� Some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thou shalt not stop liking a band just because they�ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it�s cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
Thou shalt not buy Coca-Cola products.
Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend�s best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls� pants.
Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyokes.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave before it�s done just because you�ve finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just �cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you�re never gonna fucking talk to.
Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.
The Beatles� Were just a band.
Led Zepplin� Just a band.
The Beach Boys� Just a band.
The Sex Pistols� Just a band.
The Clash� Just a band.
Crass� Just a band.
Minor Threat� Just a band.
The Cure� Just a band.
The Smiths� Just a band.
Nirvana� Just a band.
The Pixies� Just a band.
Oasis� Just a band.
Radiohead� Just a band.
Bloc Party� Just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys� Just a band.
The Next Big Thing.. JUST A BAND.

Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-english speaking countries as to those that occur in english speaking countries.
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music,
thou shalt not make repetitive generic music,
thou shalt not make repetitive generic music,
thou shalt not make repetitive generic music.

Thou shalt not pimp my ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When I say �Hey� thou shalt not say �Ho�.
When I say �Hip� thou shalt not say �Hop�.
When I say, he say, she say, we say, make some noise� kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish you girlfriend was a freak like me.
Thou shalt spell the word �Pheonix� P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at the club last night by saying �Is it�.

Thou shalt think for yourselves.

And thou shalt always� Thou shalt always kill!

A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods.

She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog
said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three
wishes."

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to
mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for,
your husband will get ....... times ten!"

The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most
beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man that ever lived, an Adonis whom women will
swoon over and flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman
and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM!!! - She's the most beautiful
woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world by
far. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is
mine."

So, KAZAM!!! - She's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and after careful consideration
she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack"

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

ATTENTION female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here
and continue feeling good.








Male readers: Please scroll down.

























The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.

PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that
women are nosey cows and never listen!!!